Critics of Israel 'fuelling hatred of British Jews'

"A group of prominent MPs, alarmed at the rise of anti-semitism in Britain, will accuse some left-wing activists and Muslim extremists this week of using criticism of Israel as 'a pretext' for spreading hatred against British Jews."

Story

Yup. It's so easy isn't it? It has nothing to do with you bombing the shit out of everything and threatening the entire world; it's just that we're so obsessed with your curly sideburns and jew hats.

You're the only ones left reading your Crap-a-Thaurus. Fuck off.

OK, New show.

I wonder how they will market the calling of a comedian...to be a terrorist?...

I know I have changed show titles recently. But I like this one better:

"A...Stand-Up...Terrorist! (Get it?)"

Magic Hat Pithy Saying No. 382

Be a traveller, not a tourist.

More missile boondoggles!

No. You are so completely not close to doing that.

Story

These tests are, of course, conducted under the most favorable conditions. Which, you know, don't exist in the real world.

I like that Kool Aid Man joke.

A friend of mine introduced me to Dane Cook's material a few years ago.

I find him very funny. His timing is nothing less than perfect. There are very small but important elements of timing in his performance. He knows what he's doing.

"Someone shit on the coats" is perhaps the funnniest thing I have every heard.

So I guess I'm listening to comedy tonight. Thanks.

I can't figure out what this piece is about.

"U.S. stocks may gain and trading volume may rebound as Wall Street goes back to work after the Labor Day holiday, and as investors bet the Federal Reserve will keep rates unchanged at its next meeting."

Story

Since there is no certitude index associated with "may rebound," then we must assume that "may not rebound" is just as likely. And judging from the musings of those whom I read, I would say that "may not rebound" is the more metaphorically likely.

Now I don't know economics very well. But me understand the movement of energy, er, I mean, the movement of information... So I hope you would deign allow me to pull up a chair...

People are buying three dollars in gas and paying in dimes.

Grossly overweight people fill my day.

Customers become mesmerized by the latest five-dollar laser pointer. They buy it.

Scratch-off lottery tickets are not a sound retirement plan.

People take out adjustable rate mortgages.

This whole mess is caused by economic distortions introduced by monetary policy and legislative policy.

You don't ever want to obstruct the free movement of energy. Money shall be gold or silver --or some privately issued bill representing such.

And you don't want government --that is, the businessmen who control it-- to create crimes. A created crime is one that is victimless. It's a crime that no one actually reported. ...Because no one noticed. Because it affects no one.

Who cares if I drive without a seat belt on?

Who cares if I smoke weed?

Who cares if I build a shed on my property to keep the wood out of the rain?

These are, at root, economic crimes. Crimes in which the only "injured party" is some economic interest. In the first case, only insurance companies and hospitals care about seat belt laws. They incur the greatest cost of failure to buckle up.

The only person who cares if I smoke weed is the person who wants to "level the playing field" so that the purchase of his crap product becomes more attractive.

The only person who might arguably have a claim to protest my building of a shed might be my neighbors. They may object to it on safety or aesthetic grounds. And they may have a claim: Such a structure might reduce the value of their property. But that is still an economic interest...and just as unadorned by high-mindedness.

They all come down to money.

I know that you people have laws against some things, so I'm sorry if my efforts to act in a morally --that is, informationally efficient-- manner conflicts with your desire to make more money.

Government interference in your society's economy should not be tolerated. The economic interests of those who control government --and guess who that _isn't_-- will be reflected in the enforcement actions of government.

And I hesitate to even refer to it as government, because that implies some sort of legitimacy beyond the enshrinement of some people's desire to make more money.

A government that acts not in the manner associated with legitimate government, but in the furtherance of economic interests, claims no moral legitimacy.

It may be morally ignored because its actions are the very antithesis of legitimacy. So it, obviously, is not government. Where did it go?

You won't miss it, because government brings only death and disease and poison and poverty. Beyond its supposititious beginnings as the guarator of freedom and property, it has become an entity that is hostile to its only mandate. It is as rapacious and savage as are the economic interests it serves.

The love of money is the root of all evil. The love of 3-Space energy is the root of all evil. If a thing must be legislated, then it --in the incalculable economic wisdom of The Field-- must be bad.

When you create economic crimes, you guarantee yourselves a hell on earth. This is because you legislate into existence things that should not exist in a good world. All things exist as they are required by The Field. So if buckling up made a net contribution to the "good world," it would happen without governmental coercion.

There is an economic genius to be ascribed to "evil" as well. One might even personify it, and attribute to it some intelligence. It will make full use of the economic mechanisms that had been unwittingly laid by those who had fallen in love with that form of energy.

.

There will be much gnashing of teeth, as they say.

More Corporate Welfare

So we're building a new moonship when most people can't afford to have a tooth filled. Great. (I don't advocate public healthcare. I mean to say that economic distortions introduced by government spending hinder the free movement of economic energy through the system, resulting in a lower standard of living for all; that is, less "work" performed by this energy. It's pretty simple, really.)

Story

Here is a fun, probably meaningless and inconsequential pet conspiracy theory of mine:

I question whether the moon landing ever happened. I once spent a few hundred hours studying the issue. (I know that doesn't compare with the quality time spent in front of the television by my detractors, but books and photos and stuff were all I had access to. Please forgive me.)

I noticed some problems with the official account of events. I questioned some of the obviously doctored moon landing photos. I questioned inappropriate shadows on lunar craft. I questioned the ability of the craft to protect the inhabitants from radiation. There was just too much implausible stuff going on.

My only conclusion --before I grew bored of the matter-- was this:

Why would NASA fake photos of an event that actually happened?

Again, not important.

This is not relevant considering that 9-11 actor Donald Rumsfeld will be executed.

You don't mind if I...frame this differently, do you?

Story

Just stop it.

This is just stupid:

"The Republican National Committee yesterday blasted Democrats again as "Defeatocrats,"

You're not funny _or_ clever.

I liked that move.

I feel myself becoming famous right about...now...

My ploy to initiate non-linearity worked out very well.

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It's only sectarian strife!

Story

Don't mind that person walking around with a dog's head sewn on his body.

Know your place.

...The American _Legion_?!

From some purveyor of information on the internet, I see that its members' average age is sixty-three.

I served during "Operation Desert Storm (And Dance Party)". I was nowhere near any fighting, but, technically, I'm a veteran of a foreign war.

The American Legion's website says this in its...constitution...:

Preamble to the Constitution of The American Legion
For God and Country
We associate ourselves together for the following purposes:

To uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States of America; to maintain law and order; to foster and perpetuate a one hundred percent Americanism; to preserve the memories and incidents of our associations in the Great Wars; to inculcate a sense of individual obligation to the community, state and nation; to combat the autocracy of both the classes and the masses; to make right the master of might; to promote peace and goodwill on earth; to safeguard and transmit to posterity the principles of justice, freedom and democracy; to consecrate and sanctify our comradeship by our devotion to mutual helpfulness.

OK.

To uphold and defend the Constitution? You people are a fucking joke.

To make right the master of might? Made some bad choices, I guess.

To promote peace and goodwill on earth?

While you're watching television in your RV, the people who really should be consulted are the kids who are having babies by who the fuck knows who and there's no decent jobs for them and they're the ones who are getting killed over there.

You know, you senile old geezers really ought to shut the fuck up and enjoy your golf membership or else we'll take your fucking social security away. How does that sound? No trip to the Poconos this year...

So accept your dole and know your place.

Find yourself an open mic.

I like to keep a close eye on the media. I see hints now and again of a coalescing effort to engage me; I can detect faint whispers of their marketing campaign to engage Chris King Pop Icon. So I change my shtick. Just like that.

I am a comedian. I am a better weaver of illusion than you are. I will win. (We've been through this already.)

All I have to do is to wear my cloak of ever-changing personas. I can change my marketing at a moment's notice. Doing a live movie girds one with this skill.

Maybe you should take up stand-up.

Hey, timid types!

You can't roll back the lies without attacking the Original Lie. ...And you know which one I'm talking about...

The Marketers of Death know what they're doing: Their marketing campaign has figured you in, and they have ready smears of "unpatriotic" for you. Because, you see, if you don't want the government to punish the "terrorists," then you must be bad.

...Unless...

9-11 were an inside job...

Whoopsie Daisy: Marketing Breakdown

A marketing breakdown is a conflict between two different marketing campaigns:

1. We're bombing places to avenge 9-11 and to promote freedom.

2. Only people who hate America's freedom are opposed to this military activity.

But...

If 9-11 was an inside job, then all their campaigns fall apart and, indeed, the emotive energy of their campaigns immediately turns 180 degrees, focussing that energy and rage upon the Lie Makers.

This is very bad, and represents an extremely powerful weapon for Truth.

Wielding this weapon is your only path to peace and liberty.

You can't mealy-mouth this one. Just so you know.

And by the way, you have seen how preposterous have been their "plots" of existentially nefarious "terrorists."

This is rich comedy fodder. I could write material on this while mowing the lawn.

The Lie Makers won't be able to respond without being laughed out of the room.

Oh, no...

It's not a good thing when orators speak.

Story

(And I bet he wrote his own speech; I can detect no un-ironic use of advertising terms.)

...But you don't ask for the truth. You take it...

See?

Story

This is why the states must forbid local law enforcement to work with DHS. And they must be instructed to prevent activities in their jurisdictions by the unlawful DHS.

And since DHS was created fraudulently, all its actions are unlawful and executed in behalf of those who perpetrated the original fraud. See? DHS has nothing to do with your security or the defense of your freedom.

The states need to put an end to this fraudulent outrage. ...The feds obviously won't...

I need to tell you about Steven J. Schneider.

One, I hate him immensely. My heart...pumps...the very _impetus_ of his destruction! How more clearly can I say it?

He fancies himself some kind of movie reviewer or something. He writes for that Orlando Weekly rag. Everything I have ever read by him was complete shit. Drop the dictionary, egghead.

He never even thought I was completely crazy when I talked crazy talk.

...He knew I might take those turns...

Good luck in your new endeavors, Steve...

I'm going to rewrite my online personal ad.

In this attempt to find love, I will write the following:

Hi. I'm very skittish. And I probably will completely misinterpret cues that normal people would just get.

Yeah... About the sex thing... Not sure I'm going to be too much fun. I have come to believe that you're supposed to make babies with women but love men. This is the most perfect love, uncheapened by a physical expression.

I don't like antiquing.

I don't like all those gay shows on TV, and I will not watch them with you.

I don't do crystal meth. It's a bad drug.

Can't you just stop being so gay for a moment?

Huh?

Story

“Israel has reached some kind of stalemate with Hezbollah.”

TRANSLATION: "Israel has reached some kind of stalemate with some guys."

TRANSLATION-MORE: "A state can't even take on some guys with guns."

And Israel's existence is not in question because why?

The Israelites will never be emancipated until the FakeState is dismantled.

This is not going to be good.

Story

Not so fast...

Story

What the fuck is this?!

Story

You. can. suck. my. fat. nuts.

There is another reason why all your troops are overseas...

Oh, by the way.

At this point in the show, it is necessary that you understand that you perceive me precisely as I prescribe.

Otherwise the next part doesn't make sense.

That Howard Dean is such gonna fuckin get it! Fuckface! Come on up on stage!

OK.

I saw Howard Dean talking to Keith Olbermann on the internet. All I know is it was about That Doddering Old Fool's RetardoTalk on moral or intellectual deficiencies or whatever.

Mr. Dean comported himself quite unlike a dipshit. I was rather pleased with his grasp of things.

I still think Democrats are Dipshits and Republicans are Retards. I've always had trouble choosing between the two. They just talk too much advertising talk for my taste.

But Howard Dean is not an embarassment. ...He's just a Vermonter...and a fine one, at that...

--------------

By the way, "That Doddering Old Fool" is my name for Donald Rumsfeld. [In my movie, the Secretary of Defense is never, ever, mentioned by name. Even during his TV appearances in my movie, and in official state papers and stuff, he is referred to as That Doddering Old Fool. Not everyone will know who that is, so it will be a cult thing to know that it's actually Donald Rumsfeld. So everyone who wants to be cool will want to know, and then everyone will know it. Mission Accomplished!]

Boo hoo

"This bill is yet another attempt to prevent citizens with moral and religious principles from expressing their beliefs and educating their children according to those beliefs," said England. "On behalf of California families, private schools and other private organizations, I express our outrage at this attack on our freedom."

So you'll have to give up your state dollars in order to buy back your soul? Wow, that's expensive.

Story

I told you.

I told you Vermonters are obstinate.

Story

Now is no time for a vacation.

Just to let you know...

Manipulating the media?

Isn't that what show business is about?

Serial: 1: "A serial sounds fun."

[Chris in the backyard, shirtless, black chest hair on alabaster skin, wearing flannel lounge pants where the fly always seems to be wrinkled open, standing at a circular barbecue grill, fanning a single anemic chicken wing with a paper plate]

"Mister King?" calls a voice from around the house.

Chris can't figure out if the voice is real or not. On the off-chance that it is, Chris yells out: "I'm over here."

A man rounds the corner of the house. He's carrying a sample case, bundled in his ams, as if he were a frightened vagrant...and it a collection of his most prized possessions...

"I'm glad I found you! I've got something I want to share with you!" He studies the scene with a 'Where have I seen this before?' look on his face.

"Great! I could use the company. ...Come on in to...[motions with his arm]...my world."

Chris and his visitor sit on those plastic lawn chairs. One has a broken arm. I think our visitor got that one.

"Mister King, there have been some fantastic...al developments in law! I wanted you to see them." Our visitor notices the shotgun leaning against the house. Chris notices him noticing this.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. That's just for...the vermin. All kinds of vermin you know... creepin around... Eat out your substance if you're not careful. Always gettin into things, too, where they have no business... But do tell: Whatever is it that you have there?"

--------

Coming Next:

"Serial: Who is our secret visitor?"

This is why you don't want to be called up on stage:

I will ask you:

Which is the more historically...significant?

More generic and distinctly unfunny lies...

...or a true, no-shit comedian who is kicking down doors and slugging everyone who fancies himself relevant?

Who will catch the interest...of the...Future People?...

I am insinuating myself into the role of significant comedian not for my own gratification, but so that I might more effectively save your planet from destruction. Is that okay with you?

For example:

A hundred years from now, no one would know of Alberto Gonzalez. He went to some school and got a degree or two and then taught some and then talked crap talk on tv sometimes. That's not noteworthy.

What is noteworthy is this:

"Wow! That Chris King Pop Icon did lots of Chief Legal Sophist Alberto Gonzalez material. Sure was funny, too. I learned from Chris that Allie played 3-Card Monty and concocted ever more fantastical legal theories in an effort to subvert the rule of law! That's sure funny, for a law professor or whatever. And, oh, hey, now I know what Chris was talking about when he called Allie to task for peppering his speeches with references to lawfulness! 'Cause, you see, shortly after Chris first mentioned it in his show, within days Allie was trying to lay his defense by using this hitherto unexploited and unsavaged word! Wow, that's sure prescient of Chris! ...And I even understand from Chris that Allie sucked on big, well formed turds! Just for fun! And to gross people out he would act like one of those play-doh spaghetti makers and force the shit out through the gaps in his teeth. And then he'd laugh a shit-laden laugh after he had grossed everybody out! And I saw those videos of press conferences where Chris says Allie looks stupid. And guess what? He _does_ look stupid. So, logically, Alberto Gonzalez _must_ have been stupid. And a filthy shit-eater, too."

--------

Your new name --until I grow bored of it-- is:

Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez

You are destroyed. ...And the Future People seem to agree...

You people are just a bunch of teases.

I wanted to hear more about the control freak. I've had enough RetardoTalk.

Story

He's over.

Reclining at his desk, dabbing the coffee spill from his sample case, Norman Podhoretz avers:

"I must confess to being puzzled by the amazing spread of the idea that the Bush Doctrine has indeed failed the test of Iraq. After all, Iraq has been liberated from one of the worst tyrants in the Middle East; three elections have been held; a decent constitution has been written; a government is in place; and previously unimaginable liberties to walk around with the dog's head of your choice sewn on your body! By what bizarre calculus does all this add up to failure? And by what even stranger logic is failure to be read into the fact that the forces opposed to AssBananas are fighting back with all their might?"

Emergency Material

Is this dullard the best you people have to offer?

Story

The jig is up. And he knows it. ...Only a few passed-over protojokes left in that sample case...

This is why I am supremely confident of the victory of Decency and Liberty.

I'm assembling my wardrobe for my movie debut. And I'm flipping through fashion magazines, looking for my new haircut.

Find that three-dollar calculator.

You ought to stay awake at night... You should be scared shitless.

Story

How is it that your expensive Lie Machine is losing to one guy?

Because, drum roll please...

You not know chaos theory good.

The economics have changed, you doddering old fool.

Lies are a dime a dozen. The truth is a rare gem that --at least temporarily-- is going pretty cheap.

The Economically Predicted Outcome (EPO)

This is another reason why the state is an economic anachronism, doomed to death by neglect.

Story

What's to stop him? He has the moral right to do this. That election was highly suspect.

OK. Real simple like:

When what occupies an office is not the definition of legitimacy, then one is not obligated to countenance it, because...it...is not...[wait for it]...legitimate.

It is a morally powerful, logical argument.

You just don't learn, do you?

And this is why the military will remove him from the office which he unlawfully occupies.

Story

Maybe that was the shortest show ever.

I like this show title better:

YOU FUCKED UP MY MARKETING

It's what there is.

It's not that I want to be a dark person. ...It's just that my life's been dark... ...So the comedy is going to be dark...

Here's a legal mechanism for you:

The military may disregard legality and instead apply the proper good. Because it is the right thing to do.

Or else your world is destroyed.

The Republicans and the Israeli types are going to destroy the world in their attempt to control it. They're that venal.

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Ex Cathedra Pronouncement No. 18

It is extremely difficult to battle an entity who is entirely aware of his powers.

Arlen, what are you doing?

Story

Whyever would you want such a thing? That stuff is the bad stuff.

I find this extremely funny.

Material

Whyever would you do such a thing?

Story

You won't want to do that, because therein lies proof of electoral...improprieties...

We'll need that proof to prosecute people. It's evidence. You see.

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New Show

My new show starts quite unceremoniously...now.

I call it:

I AM SICK OF YOU PEOPLE'S BULLSHIT

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See?

This isn't even the guy.

Story

"How dare he eat prawn...s... and while away his cares with a glass of wine?!"

This guy's just some weirdo they picked up for their psy-op. They needed to blow a couple weeks.

The reason why he apparently knew inside information is because...his bosses know inside information! Ta Da!

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This is official ouch material.

Story

"Present yourself for your spanking!"

Yes and no.

"There have been growing signs the Pope is considering aligning his church more closely with the theory of "intelligent design" taught in some US states. Advocates of the theory argue that some features of the universe and nature are so complex that they must have been designed by a higher intelligence. Critics say it is a disguise for creationism."

You know...

The Field organizes itself according to dispassionate economic principles. There's no need to externalize some objective "creator." The Field _itself_ is the creative genius, doing only what the free movement of energy would demand.

You know there's mind control signals in the television...

Everyone who watches television appears --to me-- to be all of the same class of enchanted being. (And not the good kind.)

Here's one line of questioning that I might pursue:

If the technology existed (which it does) to lay a second video or audio track, at a constant but sufficiently lower level than the main "programming," to be used for the purpose of "behavior modification" ...and if someone wanted to sell the audience something, ...might that technology be employed for television programming?

It would be an interesting experiment to take the video and audio from some finished but pre-broadcast stage, and compare it, digitally, against the broadcast version. ...See if there's any boxes in the path that you don't know what they do...

I'll answer your question.

I love how Fox News show hosts "frame" questions to their guests. Especially regarding the recent Chuck Hagel/Fox News interview thing.

Their questions are non-questions. They're advertising copy.

Reply to each of their questions this way, for example:

"Your question has no meaning. I could humor you...but at the risk of having people think that I am just as devoid of meaning. So I will answer your question...as if it were a question that had meaning. ...Now you let me know if I'm not talking about what you want me _talking_ about now."

Hey!...Journalism Mongers!

Why do you even put the "R-NH" or whatever after a politician's name? It has no meaning.

You will complicate the Marketers of Death's marketing.

You will force readers to assemble even a modicum of information about this politician.

This is a Judd Gregg Piece

Story

"In my view, there are limitations to academic freedom and freedom of speech," said U.S. Sen. Judd Gregg, R-N.H."

That's why Judd Gregg has always been a loser. Only in silence can corruption exist. Whyever do you want silence, Mr. Gregg?

"I believe it is inappropriate for someone [who might know what he's talking about] at a public university which is supported with taxpayer dollars [do what we say or we'll fire you] to take positions that are generally an affront [some kind of high-class badness] to the [bumfights] sensibility of most all [comatose] Americans," Gregg said."

Spinnin them lies, spinnin them lies. uh huh, uh huh. Spinnin them lies, spinnin them lies.

Maybe they just don't want The Troglodytes bombing the shit out of everything.

Story

"They're NotNice! Can't you see?! We defined that for you already in our...Crap-a-Thaurus! [reaches into sample case and pulls out a sheaf of paper with a coffee mug stain on it] "It's just after ContraUs. Let me find it..."

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What?

There is something hinky about this story.

Story

This is my day job:

A Red Bull is a dollar ninety nine.

A small Poland Spring Water is ninety-nine cents, whereas the next size up is $1.29 and the big one is 1.79.

A "regular size" Slim Jim (according to whatever metric I may have devised) is 1.09.

Candy is 80 cents. Unless it's someone I don't know. Then it's 90.

All potato chips in that aisle are ninety-nine cents. UNLESS it is from that one company, in which case they are a dollar nineteen.

We have scratch-off lottery tickets in denominations of 1 through 20 of your earth dollars. You are guaranteed to lose your comparative money just as quickly with any of them.

Tums are ninety nine, as are all other medicinals that people should have brought with them from their fancy lairs in New York.

That one beef jerky is 5.99. But for the weight, that two ouncer of that Vermont jerky for 2.99 is better.

I am sorry that you need to give me eighteen dollars and twelve cents for a sale that totals four dollars. I cannot magically know what combination of convenient change you would like. It's not that I don't know how to count change, it's that I got tripped up trying to figure out how you could be so asinine...

Nice Performance

They're not there for _you_... They're there for themselves...

[Fill your reality into this statement.]

The Emmy Award is a trap.

Yup.

I am a conscientious objector to all your bullshit. But I'm still going to kick your asses.

I need to see this.

There's some Rob Corddry stuff I want to see. Why don't those videos work?

I like your stuff.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

OK.

The only way you can escape this 3-Space prison is to avoid being tricked into believing a non-reality. Tricking one into embracing a non-reality is merely then a marketing task.

Therefore, to escape this 3-Space prison, you must embrace that nothing is real...

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Yahoo! Music: Green Is The Colour by Pink Floyd

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Green Is The Colour by Pink Floyd
http://yme.music.yahoo.com/ymeNav/ymu/song/751449

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Whatever is inside my sample case?

A friend and I had a bet to see who could become famous first.

...This was all an exercise in marketing.

...But maybe I had something to contribute along the way...

In a loving sense, I am in complete control of your brain.

...And I won fifty bucks.

...

...And so much more...

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Now:

Isn't this so much nicer than, "The entirety of the federal government should be killed immediately!"..?

Thought so.

Yahoo! Music: Yearning by Mono

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Yearning by Mono
http://yme.music.yahoo.com/ymeNav/ymu/song/30988542

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Did you sell those gift certificates yet?

Joe, whatever are you up to?

Joe, what do you really want?... Who do you really work for?

Story

What would you expect?

Have you seen how black people act recently? Maybe they deserve to go to the back of the bus.

Story

Hmmm...

This may be some kind of psy-op. I don't what this is about yet.

Story

What are you doing?

Nice marketing campaign.

They're watching television. Isn't that what you want?

Story

It's hard to have friends.

I once had to break off a personal relationship. I told a mutual friend, "Some day tell him this: It's because he could not have benefited by knowing me."

Yeah, here's my new marketing:

OK:

This is my new shtick:

I am a pissed-off, lonely drunk who accidently invented Fifth Generation Warfare. I am pissed off and drunk because I am a programmed killer...gone awry; my new target is my monstrous makers.

I retain all the powers and appurtenances pertaining thereto to my auto-installation into the offices of Transtemporal Courier and Supreme Ruler of 3-Space.

And I am just as beautiful as ever, and there is someone in this town who knows how to cut hair.

--------

By the way, I neglected to tell you that due to

Open up that sample case!

Story

No, now is _not_ the time. Your day in the sun didn't last a day.

What with Israel being a 9-11 actor and all, I guess the nature of those position papers will be changing... "Israel who?"

Confronted with the choice, members of Congress will shy away from the more damaging of the two advertising terms: "Anti-American" over "Anti-Semitic." ...They know where their bread is buttered. And they know that their constituents don't really give two shits about the plight of the Jews. They're more fired up about punishing the 9-11 Perpetrators. And, therefore, it would be Anti-American to support 9-11 actor Israel...you see...

Whoopsie Daisy: Marketing breakdown.

AIPAC's money is now the kiss of death.

That reversal happened pretty quick...

Rational Behavior

Reference Alert

Popular Mechanics is famous for "debunking" 9-11 "conspiracy theories" in the laziest way possible; they erect straw man arguments and then ride to the rescue to knock them down. "Some 9-11 conspiracy wingnuts even claim that space aliens did it. That's just silly talk. So logically, the government's story _has_ to be true." These "hit pieces" are easy to do in the pages of one's own magazine, but they don't stand up to an informed 9-11 Truther. The guy _had_ to cancel; he was going to get his ass handed to him.

Take even the most tongue-tied, ineloquent, disorganized 9-11 Truther and he will still win a debate.* All he has to do is pluck nuggets of truth from the 9-11 Truth Tree. He's got binders full of facts. His most difficult task is picking one.

It's no surprise that Popular Mechanics pulled out of the debate; it was a no-win.

No one ever wants to debate a 9-11 Truther on the facts:

...How did Building Seven fall right down? ...I'm all ears...

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*Postscript: I don't know what 9-11 Truther was slated to debate him. This piece doesn't involve him. It's not supposed to speak that way.

Yeah, great.

Your society has become completely asinine.

Story

This timing was better:

The original: "I checked my calendar. It's doomsday"

Not:

I checked my calendar its...doomsday

Your timing was impeccable to begin with.

Mmm.

Psychiatry is as often used to destroy minds as to heal them.

I find that very sad.

Yahoo! Music: Life In A Northern Town by Dream Academy

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Life In A Northern Town by Dream Academy
http://yme.music.yahoo.com/ymeNav/ymu/song/553625

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Oh, so that's why.

I suppose the comedian is like the shark... ...Move forward or you're dead...

New Rule

You know...

I write far more happy material when I'm stoned than when I'm drunk. When I'm drunk, it's all cocksucking and killing jokes.

So unless you want me destroying the world, you will have me smoke more weed. ...Or the War on Drugs will have caused the destruction of the world.

And thus, of the metaverse.

...As you were...

You're not nice!

Oh, yeah, I fight dirty.

...Cos there's a lot at stake...

This is a nice crowd.

This is the story of my life.

It's easier to tell in a crowd than one-on-one...

...So thanks for coming...

Toot Toot

The Federal government essentially is being run as a corporation.

Your vote means nothing. You control nothing. ...You're the labor, remember?...

Seems like you need a labor union.

...Oh, wait... that's the meeting down at the docks...

Yahoo! Music: Cemetary Party by Air

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Cemetary Party by Air
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More...ass...laws...please!

Story

Let's codify the killing of people and sewing horse heads on little girls!

This is just so weird.

Do you know how famous I'm going to be? ...If the world doesn't end and I don't get killed, that is.

My new wood stove is actually quite advanced.

It's called a pellet stove. It burns biomass pellets. Shaped like rabbit food, they can be made of wood or corn.

I will be burning wood pellets. They are made of highly compressed hardwood shavings and sawdust. The pellet stoves are very efficient and burn about 95% clean, if I'm correct.

It's electronically controlled and runs from a wall thermostat. It uses electricity to run the blower, the pellet feed auger, and the control circuitry. It's really quite advanced. And it's a beautifully designed piece of...furniture almost. I have it installed in the living room. Big glass front, fake logs in it. Big, bright flame; it's like having a high-efficiency, low-maintenance fireplace running all the time.

I burned oil last year. I went through about 750 gallons of oil to heat this house last season. This year, I suppose it would cost about two thousand dollars to heat the house. So I bought a pellet stove. And a season's worth of pellets, about two tons. They come stacked on a pallet, in 40-pound bags. The stove and all the pellets will pay for themselves in 1.5 seasons. It's a no-brainer.

I'm Mister Y2K, so I know how to rig up car batteries and run the stove in the event of a power outage. And I still have the old wood stove in the cellar with a few cords of wood outside. So I can always burn that.

.

I have perfected my "21st Century, Space-Bound Hunting Lodge" look for my house. I have repainted the kitchen, the halls, the living room, and the dining room. I have a mounted, eight-point buck head above the fireplace. I bought it at a thrift store around here for $75. It would have cost $750 in New York, so New York has nothing on...Cootersville...

These are the colors of paint I have used whose names I like:

1. Gravel. A modern, lightly mossy green for the living room. It goes well with the shellacked pine paneling around the fireplace.
2. Sturdy Table. A resplendently delicious mid-brown, as the color of fine Swiss chocolate. In the hallways.
3. Lava, a demonstrative yet paradoxically subdued blue for the kitchen. Coupled with my $30 black-and-white-squares sticky tiles for the floor, it's quite an installation of whimsy and gravitas. You don't know what to think when you walk into this room.
4. Dansbury Down in the dining room. A brownish gray, with a defiant whisper of violet. Can't hear it? Come closer...you'll get punched in the face!

Yahoo! Music: Sleep On Needles by Sondre Lerche

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Sleep On Needles by Sondre Lerche
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I know what it feels like to be broken.

I recently watched again Stephen Colbert's routine at the White House Correspondents' Dinner or whatever. I paid attention to the footage from the other camera, the camera that captured Mr. Bush's reaction to the routine. Mr. Bush put on a nice display, narrowing his eyes, as if to say, "I'll get you." They were the affectations of a man confident in his own power.

You don't see that look anymore. In any recent video or still photo of Mr. Bush, you see only fear and defeat.

He is a broken man. And he knows this. He is only now ripe for redemption. His salvation is in his own hands; it will not come from without.

Hey, journalist types!

I hope you'll forgive my continued discussion of Colbert's and Stewart's shows. It's just that they're socially relevant in a way perhaps not fully appreciated.

These "terror alerts" and the nefarious plots that occasion them... Each of them has been debunked. I'm no fastidious record keeper; I can't recount for you the deficiencies in each. When a plot is debunked to my satisfaction, I move on. ...And I'm not an historian. I am a comedian. I am not obligated to provide footnotes. My job is to ridicule...and to conduct the occasional psy-op. ...You can certainly shoulder some of the burden for discovering the truth.

Television and print news in this country is garbage. Those media act as conduits for any manila envelope that may magically appear on the desk. That makes journalism pretty easy, I guess.

Considering that every "terrorist" plot trotted out has been debunked within a couple days, these organizations --upon receiving the manila envelope-- should report, "The government claims that this plot exists. Check back in a couple days and we'll let you know if it's true." Instead, they dutifully report that the plot exists.

History has proven that everything from the government is a complete lie --at least on matters of "war," "national security," and "terrorism." Why would you report as "news" the utterances of a known pathological liar? Do you...not _know_ that you're being lied to...or do you simply not care? In either case, you cannot --with a straight face-- claim to be journalists.

These "journalists" are happy to confuse the public by trumpeting the lie, but they ignore the subsequent debunking of it.

And that's where those two comedians come in. They offer the follow-up.

The public service provided by these two shows is far greater than all the "reporting" of all the print and television "news" departments combined.

Your society is in deep, deep trouble when you must rely on filthy, probably hard-drinking and otherwise unrespectable comedians to elevate the public understanding of events.

Hey, journalist types! You're being used! You are the conduits of information in somebody's psychological operation. In a psy-op, truth is not relevant. It's the emotional effect of the information that is desired. The liars in government know that no one in the mainstream news media will follow up on the debunking. When the falsehood is first disseminated, the damage is done.

So knowing this, don't you think --in the interest of disseminating the truth and all-- that you might hold off on splashing the contents of that manila envelope all over the place?

You're not fundamentally bad people... So what's wrong with you? Are you simply stupid...or are you in on it?

I'm convinced that if it were not for these two comedians' shows, that your society would be walking around with state-mandated anal temperature probes, waving ninety-nine-cent flags, boasting about how free you are.

And I thought insanity was something I could safely claim as my own special province...

Who's Left?

When the ship has sunk, the rats will climb atop one another.

Story

This is an engineered disclosure. Blair is apparently seeking to prevent his execution by distancing himself from The Supreme Leader of Cucka Land.