(By the way: For as many people as who hate me, they sure read my stuff a lot. ...And I think that my life's body of work will reflect that my most offensive material came after I consciously started trying to get booed off the stage.)
Chris waltzes into the Fox newsroom and noses around, opening desk drawers and rifling through people's belongings. He passes over the Met-Rx bars and the Axe Body Spray and steals a few pens. He jumps up on a desk.
"Excuse me! Everyone, could I have your attention?!"
"I have the uncanny ability to divine the future! And I feel myself entering into a trance state as I speak! ...Let's hope I can maintain the presence of mind to steal that geri-stapler I saw in that handicapped woman's cubicle..."
"I see your troglodyte nation...disappearing! Yes! Yes! A miracle happened there after all! They got erased! ...No more flying planes into buildings, I'd say!"
"I see...I see a cocktail party! With decent white people! ...They're drinking brandy and laughing and showing off the Jews they purchased as pets! ...It's fashionable, apparently, in the future to keep Jews as pets and dress them up in firemen's uniforms and sailor clothes or whatever and take those cute pictures of them. (...People can just buy the software and print out their own calendars.)"
"I see them wailing in their stalls about how everyone's contra-them! And they don't know why!"
"And they lament not having listened to Christ when he tried to teach his moronic people how they could harness time-domain energy and escape this 3-Space prison! You're so stupid that you didn't even GET him! ...No one ever accused a Jew of being bright, I guess..."
"Instead of embracing God's Luminescent Energy, they fill their empty souls with money! And it never fills up!"
"And what galls you the most isn't that I'm performing this material...but that I'm getting away with it!"
"How! Is! Your! Homeland doing?!"
"Grunt! Grunt, my Little Dream Children! Embrace the High Priests' chain around your necks! Poison the earth! Spread lies and filth! Gin up more wars! Fly more planes into buildings! Give us an encore performance! ...Suborn your Beauty to your masters' Ugliness! ...The meek shall inherit the earth! And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace! War is not the way to God or to His abundance! Choose your House! Ha Ha Ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahaha.............."