Saturday, November 25, 2006

In response to my adoring audience's demands, I shall do another video soon.

Maybe another one to my internet girlfriend.

It is easy to spot USG LLC cars. They all have speed-rated tires.

Friend or foe, it's just a bit...indelicate...

_Where_. have you been?!

I've been up all night waiting for you.

Legal mechanisms cannot properly be borne by those with bad philosophy.

I breathe easier these days

because the forces of decency truly _have_ reclaimed control of USG LLC. But our new threat is the emerging conflagration.

"Hey:"

"You know how you really came through for us with that '24' show? Making torture cool and all? Can you come up with a show where 2nd-rate comics make like they're funny and try to make disgusting things cool, too?"

I am courting the CIA.

I heard that the CIA had a fun personality test on their website to see if you were secret agent material. So I went there: CIA Quiz

I took the test and all I remember is my answers involved preferring jetpacks and dining on haute cuisine and shopping a lot. And everyone thought I was a jock.

When you submit your answers, it tells you at the end what you are. I was a Curious Adventurer. ...Then there was nothing about how to continue applying.

So I guess my personality type is CIA code-speak for "You seem kind of crazy and we probably couldn't hold your attention for five minutes, so we're really not interested. Thanks."

I wanted to be an Impressive Mastermind.

Yahoo! Music: Doxy by Echo

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This is the music for the scene where I'm doing a little soft-shoe in a rain-slicked alley. I work my way over to the Jews and give them the finger. Right in their faces. And there's nothing they can do about it. I do this for a while and then everyone breaks into dance together and then we all make out. [postscript: I also fake them out and they startle at the points in the song where you think there should be a bird flipped but there is not. You'll know what points I'm talking about when you hear the song.]

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You can engage in your effete, cocktail-party debates about what does and does not constitute civil war in Iraq.

You've got people walking around with dogs' heads sewn on their bodies.

I'd say that qualifies as a non-linear system.

Nice war you got there. You've unleashed a hell that you can no longer contain.

Seems your dollar scratch turned up a loser.

So Litvinenko's been removed from the board.

It is an elegant move: No fifty-cent bullet for him. Only the finest: One of the rarest materials around --polonium-210.

The event is pregnant with information.

1. In its rarity, the poison is extremely expensive. That makes it the tool only of the discerning assassin.

2. Its rarity proclaims its unnaturalness. "Hi. This was a hit. And a high-class one, at that."

3. This was the work of one man's direction. Such things are not decided by committee, but by men singular enough to dominate.

4. The impetus was not revenge. That is too base for such a considered method.

Beyond that, I cannot discern.

...Though I suspect the director has placed an undue value on 3-space energy. It is an inferior form, after all...

I have indicted Dick Cheney for the most grievous of crimes against humanity.

He is divested of all authority.

None shall countenance further his instructions, past or present, under threat of similar indictment. You are to follow the SOP for a missing executive.

The office shall remain vacant.

Here comes the Showcase Showdown.

Are you ready?

-------

You could say I've already won the...jetski...

Now I'm just trying to clean up...

OK. If you're going to do this...you bring a real gun.

Story

Why do you think the West is relevant?

"However, a senior U.S. official said any movement depended on what happened with negotiations to form a new unity government in the Palestinian territories to replace the Hamas-led administration boycotted by the West."

Story

Prevent Cheney's re-entry into the United States.

Yahoo! Music: There Is So Much More by Brett Dennen

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"We have no idea who it came from or how it came to be."

Story

Ok... no one knows how it got in there... and no one knew it was there when they voted on it... and you want me to respect it because why?

Do not include sophistry in your feedback.

It causes me to doubt the entire package.

Polonium-210 is an...elegant...means of assassination...

...if a bit...ham-handed...

Democracy is so great.

I love democracy. Have I told you how much I love democracy?

Story

Friday, November 24, 2006

It seems my nonplussed audience truly was completely not impressed with me.

I'm driving a forklift now. And sorting through stuff and categorizing it and pricing it and selling it. So the installing telecommunications equipment thing didn't work out. But I knew this guy who needed someone who wouldn't steal from him. So I'm working for him now.

And it's probably a better job anyway because it lets me think and write while I work.

When all the marketing falls away,

all the system has going for it is vileness. And that is why it will lose.

In my show, only I can redeem the Jews.

Nice.

Your...creation...is destroying the world.

Yahoo! Music: A Nation At War by Snog

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I have this conversation at least once a day.

Chris: "It seems to me that when you introduce such a degree of energy into the system, it leads inexorably to a _lessening_ of human liberty. In order for the individual to flourish to his greatest capac--"

Television Watcher: "--Oh, you're so full of hate. Why can't you watch The New Adventures of The AstroGenital Brigade with me? You're such a kook."

"Fred IklĂ©, a Nixon-era arms control veteran and mentor to the current generation of nuclear “hawks”, has an apocalyptic vision of the future."

"“We are spreading the dark side of technology,” he tells the FT, describing the “curse of dual use” where, in biotechnology and development of superhuman intelligence in particular, scientists may inadvertently be sowing the seeds of future destruction to be wrought by anarchists or revolutionary groups."

Story

It's not anarchists you need to be concerned about. It's the state.

I maintain that the combination of government and advanced technology yields only two possible outcomes: The total enslavement of the human population, or the destruction of the planet --as groups vie for control over the enslaved population.

I can't demonstrate this, but I suspect there is a mathematical proof within game theory.

The species has advanced to a point where either the system adopts a new structure to accomodate the more highly energetic informational state, or the system destroys itself.

That new structure, I suspect, is market-based. But it surely is not founded on a central authority.

The state is going away. This change in the nature of political structures is necessitated, as usual, by technological considerations. If the development of this new order is frustrated, then the species dies --either in its physical form or in its nature.

It's really that simple.

But the parasites of the world will have none of it, because forcibly extracting energy from the endeavors of the people is made impossible in the absence of the state.

"Teens Frustrate Military Recruiter's ASVAB Scam"

"On a Friday afternoon the 17th of November, 17-year-old high school seniors Robert Day and Samuel Parker decided to act after Day overheard some teachers at Pepperell High School saying that first thing Monday morning the school's juniors would be made to take the ASVAB military aptitude test."

Story

Well at least the American spirit lives on...in 17-year-olds...

Even if the No Child's Behind Left Alone Act does mandate such a thing (which I doubt) it may be safely ignored; the United States no longer exists.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

By the way:

Israel can try to smear Syria all they want; assassinations are not relevant. Syria and Iran now control Iraq. The US does not, and it lacks the "juice" to even whimper a compaint.

Syria and Iran don't _need_ Israeli permission to stabilize the region. They have the moral authority and the means to do it.

The Bush Administration can squawk and look stupid, or they can make like they came up with the idea in the first place. (A realistic assessment of one's capabilities is often useful.)

"CACI: Torture in Iraq, Intimidation at Home"

"[Defense contractor] CACI's strategy has been two-fold: its flacks have distorted well-documented facts in the public record beyond recognition, and its senior management has lawyered up, suing or threatening to sue just about every journalist, muckraker and government watchdog who's dared to shine a light on the firm's unique role as a torture profiteer."

Story

That's nothing. I understand that CACI executives jerk each other off in the boardroom and then eat each other's cum. Then they put shit in the food in the cafeteria and jerk off to boy rape videos. They do blow off hookers' asses in the boardroom. Oh, and they killed Kennedy, too.

I will say in Baker's defense (not that I suppose he needs it)

that diplomacy is a superior form of war than throwing turds. It's a delicate movement of energy based solely on words.

Savages throw turds. Gentlemen speak words.

Diplomacy is preferred until war is required. Premature war is an admission of absent diplomatic skills. War is not a sign of valor, but of a failed gaming skill set.

War-making powers should be retained only by diplomats. They know what they're doing.

"Bin Laden's on the Move!"

"Pakistani government sources tell ABC News they have "credible reports" that Osama bin Laden and his entourage have moved down from high mountainous peaks along the Afghan border to a valley area 40 miles inside the Pakistan border."

Story

I can't imagine a less relevant piece of non-information. You would never see such a story in the alternative press (which I am tempted these days just to call "the press," because 1. It's not important, and 2. It's likely not true. (Where did your manila envelope come from? Pakistani ISI? The same people who wired $100,000 to "Al Qaeda" operatives in 2001? Please get with it.)

ABC Newsroom:

[people sleeping, slumped over in their reclinable task chairs. snoaring. lucite journalism awards in the awards case, presented to ABC News for its valiant efforts in the War on the OmniThreat. slumber is interrupted by a loud "whump" as a manila envelope is dropped on the desk. journalist awakens with a start.]

"Holy shit, everyone! Look! It's the scoop of the year!" [journalist searches for his letter opener and opens the envelope]

"See? This is why you bloggers will never match our power-house reporting! We've got the contacts to get this kind of comedy gold! Lessee... [reads envelope contents and eyes widen] Oh my god... !He's on the move! Wake up, everyone! Bin Laden's on the move! [journalist runs around newsroom and slams his palm down on desks, waking everyone up] I can't imagine a less relevant piece of information, but it takes up airtime at zero investigative cost, so let's run it! !RUN IT! Hurry! Before the bloggers turn their noses up at it! And before that kook ridicules it!"

The gay soldiers are always the best;

with their valor, they shame the rest.

Net increase in unit effectiveness...

"I thought I was...you know, the...the faggot around here..." Get it?

Story

(Not that the gay issues are at all central to my task.)

I knew 9-11 was hinkie on 9-12 for this reason:

The YuckyMen's names did not appear on the flight manifests.

Huh.

"Mom, this is Frank Jones. You believe me, don't you?"

"Frankie, where are you? What's the matter?"

"Mom, this is Frank Jones. You believe me, don't you?"

(Actual, paraphrased, from-memory recollection of one of the famed "cell-phone" calls from one of the hijacked flights. ...Who speaks in such a fashion?)

Huh.

But that's just kookie talk...

---------

9-12, of course, I use metaphorically. This information may not have come to light for a week or more. Still faster than those lazy journalists who think they're the cream of the investigative crop when they unleash their mighty letter-openers on the manila envelopes that they find on their desks. "Now that's journalism, Sonny!"

You understand that your dereliction has shepherded this mess, right? You deserve a job why? It's fun watching you go out of business.

More picture games, please. Newspapers are ideally suited to picture games because I can't write on the screen of my computer.

Yahoo! Music: I Will Survive by Cake

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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Yahoo! Music: Go by The Apples In Stereo

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This is the music for the scene where the parasite is expunged, and everyone realizes that they are beings of light and an informationally consistent past arises such that the world is a paradise.

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Yahoo! Music: Everybody's Changing by Keane

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This is a happy song.

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Yahoo! Music: High Roller by The Crystal Method

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Yahoo! Music: Veronica by Elvis Costello

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Here is a nice read for the Holiday.

It's an enjoyable, long two-parter about the Iraqi misadventures of USG LLC know-nothings.

Part One
Part Two

If anyone in this whole mess comes out smelling like a rose, it's Colin Powell. He's the only one who ever spoke the truth (unless he had been fed lies --no one else in that mess can claim that defense.)

I even remember that one time when Powell was giving an interview on TV and he started speaking the truth. His assistant Emily --if memory serves, her name was Emily, and if it does then I applaud my own powers of recollection even more than usual, as this event happened several years ago and I saw it on the TV only the once-- Emily tried to stop the interview. Powell says --again if memory serves-- "Emily, get out of the way, you stupid cunt. I'm trying to talk."

--------

Postscript:

There is a part in section two that describes the wholesale firings of Baath party members from the Iraqi government and the dissolution of the army. This is, of course, kind of a bad idea if you want the Iraqis to "stand up" and be the guarantors of a flourishing, purple-fingered democracy.

The proffered excuse now is what I call the "Whoopsie Daisy" defense. It goes like this: "We made a mistake and could not have foreseen the results of many disparate points of information. It's a complex system, really. You can see that, can't you? What time is lunch?"

This was not a mistake. "Mistakes" rarely happen in geopolitics. And since we now see that chaos in the region was the desired state all along, this makes perfect sense. The result of this chaos has been the uncontestable, complete destruction of the Iraqis' minds and their society.

Who might have desired chaos in the region? Hmmm... The same people who regard Muslims as sub-human? The people who moan and wail about the world's devilish penchant for genocide? Ohh... Who could it be?...

"Give us a performance, won't you? How about some tears? [gives a tickle under the chin] Come on, even one? Just like in that black-velvet painting of the moon-eyed clown seeking our pity with that one, scintillating tear? Come on... Don't let us down... Give us the performance of your collective lives... Ohh... The show's falling apart, isn't it? Structural flaws... contrived pathos... genocidal tendencies... Can we at least have a quivering chin?"

"A New Congressman Says 'No' to the President"

"Ellison, the first Muslim to ever be elected to Congress, skipped the private reception at the White House in order to attend a reception organized by the American Federation of Labor-Congress of Industrial Organizations."

Story (may be subscription only)

""I'm running for Congress because there has been a wholesale abdication of responsibility by our political leaders," Ellison continued. "When I get to Washington, I will demand complete responsibility from this administration.""

Ah, what a breath of fresh air. Fewer Jew lies and more Muslim truths...

(And yeah, I'm gonna keep pushing the demonstrably true "Jew = Lies" meme until you get the point. Trust me; in the end, everyone dances. But until that time, you're gonna catch hell from me.)

Joe Camel, meet "Sammy the SSRI."

He's sweet and cuddly and habit-forming and, in the end, turns you violent and self-destructive.

""TeenScreen is a very controversial so-called "diagnostic psychiatric service" aka suicide survey; done on children who are then referred to psychiatric treatment.""

Story

You don't want these witch-doctor psychiatrists having annnnyyyyything to do with your children. It's like letting tobacco companies into the schools.

I'm guessing that a low-sugar, low-caffeine diet, coupled with some fresh air and something other than a mind-numbing, spirit-crushing curriculum might solve the behavioral problems.

GlaxoSmithKlineDrugCorp LLC must have made a mistake in issuing their instructions to the state.

"A 92-year-old woman was shot to death Tuesday after she fired at three narcotics officers trying to serve a warrant at her house, officials said. Neighbors and relatives said it must have been a case of mistaken identity. Police said they had the right address."

Story

Since the state can't even handle the most basic of functions like compelling the delivery of the body, I guess they're earning their pay by shooting elderly women.

'Kay: Little lesson in what protection money pays for: It pays you to go away and keep others away. It doesn't mean "come harass me." Because if it does, then the citizen takes his protection money (taxes) and hires someone to do the job right. Got it?

At least the American spirit is embodied in a...92 year old woman...

I will also say that when someone kicks a door in, the inhabitant has every moral right to believe that the intruders are up to no good. (It's how thugs act.) This woman's response was entirely justified --at least in a society that doesn't shit itself while watching TV all day.

"Countrywide says housing slump has a year to go"

""We have another year of adjustment, or transition" in the industry until consumers believe home prices won't decline, Mozilo said. "Various events will make the change take place and one of them is" a decline in available homes, he said."

Story

Oh no, trust me; there will be plenty more available homes by that time, after everyone who is upside-down has defaulted.

Got your flip-flops picked out yet?

"White House brushes off CIA draft on Iran"

"The White House is not going to dignify the work of an author who has viciously degraded our troops, and whose articles consistently rely on outright falsehoods to justify his own radical views," White House spokeswoman Dana Perino said on Monday.

Story

"Oh... all that crazy talk dreamt up in his own private, radical kookieville? We'll have none of it," she continued. "I don't know what planet he found his technical 'experts' on. It just doesn't jibe with the assessments of the Jewish infestation."

I wonder how my comedy career might have gone if so many people hadn't needed killing.

Yahoo! Music: So You'll Aim Toward The Sky by Grandaddy

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True dat.

"America is an invented place, artificial by some historical measures. But Americans were long viewed by the rest of the world as unusually earnest and genuine. Unshackled by class, social status and ancestry, Americans were free to be themselves — authentic. We have always prided ourselves on that. The American story is that we are self-made and thus uniquely able to be true to ourselves. It’s a paradox though: invention vs. authenticity."

Story

Exactly. I fear that we are losing our ability to value the authentic. Anything that is real is frightening.

Say what you like about Michael Richards. At least he's real, unlike you. (And I'm guessing he never shoved a banana up someone's ass or stuffed anyone into an oven. But because he is more startling than anything you see on The Lie Machine, he is to be vilified. The man's crime was to say something that he had a desire to say at the time. And the very fabric of your shrink-wrapped universe is unraveling. Oh no...)

Michael Richards did more socially valuable pants-shitting in two minutes than EVERYTHING delivered on the TV in the past five years. And that's why the people on TV are "outraged."

TV Person:

"9-11 an inside job? Don't care. I might lose my show."

"Babies with eyestalks? Not my problem. I'm covering useless and entry-level political information."

"Domestic dictatorship where my daughter can be lifted off the street and finger-fucked by government trolls in the name of the War on the PanBadness Brigade? What color will my new car be?"

TV is not real. TV sucks. Michael Richards is not on TV. He gets to be real.

And this makes you jealous.

And that's no surprise, because you suck. You are beholden to a shitty medium.

If you operate on TV, you don't even have the authority to comment on anything that occurs on a wooden stage. So please shut up. Go back to your non-world and pretend that you're relevant.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Watch these Jewish salesmen spin their lies.

You can see the deception in their eyes.

crooksandliars.com video

Apparently, Jew = Lie. Is that really how it is? After all the tears and the high-minded talk, it all comes down to money, doesn't it?

Who do these salesmen work for? There you will find your true enemy.

Don't take the bait.

Story

Let them erase themselves.

"We killed Jesus, we’ll kill you too!"

"Swedish human rights worker viciously attacked by Jewish extremists in Hebron"

Story

This is nice. Yay Judaism! (I guess.)

If the Christian nation of the United States were ever to withhold financial and military aid, Israel would dry up and be overrun within a year.

You can't know who assassinated that Lebanese politician.

It could be a false flag operation. Look very closely.

I'm guessing it will turn out to be the handiwork of the you-know-whos. Want to make Syria look bad, you know... By deception do they wage war...

The problem with this strategy is that once the light is shone on them, they have no moves left.

Not so fast.

Story

This is so very strange in a Kafka sort of way.

I'm actually defending myself at my own trial.

Trust me, guess who wins...

I was talking to some people today.

I know that's a change. There were talking some nonsense children's table talk. I said, "You know, 9-11 was an inside job. It was a fake."

They just busted out laughing. Not because they were bad people, but because their brains were busy non-processing the information. The brain's response is laughter.

All I could do was whisper to myself, "I know something you don't know..."

Legal Stuff

No Select piece may be reprinted or otherwise used, outside of its intended audience, without my written permission. I retain any rights to those pieces.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Select: Our Situation

[This is a Select piece. If you are not a world leader, please leave. If you are not a world leader and you choose to stay, you will remain silent; you are not part of the target audience. The material contained herein is not to be regarded to detract from the emotional tenor of my show or affect its arc. The words in a Select piece exist outside of my show. Note to Select members: I pledge to always remain sober during the writing of these Select pieces. I will reserve communing with my Lord for other pieces.]

I have seized this stage because I am very displeased with your performance. Some more than others...

What's our situation?

An energy outpost is causing problems in the world. This energy outpost is the creation of non-Jews. I call them the moneychangers. They like the money. Little shiny bits of shininess. Dollops of 3-space energy. They use their moneychanging skills to manipulate the governments of nations. They kill people and ruin societies for money. Money is their god. In God they trust...

The ProductName of this outpost is "Israel." This name has been stolen from the Jews. The outpost is not Israel. It is _called_ Israel for product positioning purposes. The Jews have been the victims of a cruel bait-and-switch operation.

9-11 was executed by unlawful elements of the militaries, intelligence agencies, and civilian officers of the United States, Israel, and perhaps the UK, among perhaps others. You all have better intelligence on this than I do. I know enough to know what's happening.

The United States executive branch is infested with 9-11 actors.

The plan of the moneychangers was a global dictatorship. It is an efficient form of governance. The problem is that in a system of control, all manner of savagery occurs. Imagine Abu Ghraib on a global scale. As you can imagine, I will not permit this. I truly would rather see the deaths of all living generations than the enslavement of all future ones. It is part of my calculus. Make no mistake about that...

The world is on the brink of destruction. You are poisoning yourselves. You must stop fighting over resources. At some point, I will tell you how you can access all the energy you could possibly need. Start by reading Bearden's book, "Energy from the Vacuum."

OK. Iraq is lost. The US has no power-projecting ability. None. (Power is no longer projected using aircraft carriers when they may be sunk by weapons against which there is no defense.) Please stop kidding yourselves.

The United States, as an empire, is finished. It's broken. Forget any notions of having any influence in the world. You started with a republic, you managed to fashion yourselves an empire, and now you've lost both.

The US has maintained the value of its fiat currency by forcing that oil be denominated in dollars. This is an exporting of inflation. It's been good while it lasted, but it's now over. The US now has no ability to force the denominating of oil in dollars. The dollar will be dumped. For a stable transition to the next order, I would ask that this dumping not occur precipitously.

I am extremely angry with Israel and its domestic Jewish agents. Yes, the Jews deserve a homeland. It will not, however, be in a choice neighborhood. They've squandered any claim to Palestine by their reprehensible behavior.

The police state in America will be dismantled. I will not budge on that demand. If I do not get what I want, I will ask that everyone dump the dollar immediately. So please do not do so of your own accord; this is my only bargaining chip.

I think everyone's agreed that Syria and Iran will now divide Iraq. The sooner the better. Plan well, but please do not delay. I weep at the savagery that has been wrought there.

Now that we know that Israel is behind most US troops' deaths, the US military might find it useful to contain Israel.

US troops will stand down. Add a few more if you like, but know your true enemy.

Iran may find it useful to concede to whatever trumped-up demand regarding its nuclear program. What's Cheney's (Israel's) complaint? Meet it. Then the talk of pre-emptive strikes is off the table. You'll gain more security in the long run anyhow. You might announce it similar to this: "We accept the United States' invitation to assist in stabilizing an inherently unstable region. While we applaud their efforts to restore order in the wake of removing the regime, we are sensitive to their desire to consult with regional powers. As a show of good faith, we will concede to their request that..." [I'm not sure what the details of Cheney's cockamamie demands are. But you get my point...]

I suspect that Cheny's influence on the military is now zero. The military is not controlled by the Bush Administration anymore. And since the military is aware of Israel's true involvement in the matter, I suspect that Israel's ability to cause trouble is near zero.

A special note to Mr. Bush:

I do not apologize for the material I performed. I apologize for the viciousness of it, however. I hope you will understand that I felt it necessary to wake you from your trance.

You are not a dictator. You are not the Supreme Leader. You _are_ the President. Act accordingly. You make the decisions around there, pursuant to your _lawful_ authority. You may find it useful to cast the Jews out of your sphere. They have caused you nothing but problems.

Your rightful rehabilitation is entirely within your power.

US Military: Your Commander in Chief may be in danger from those who would take exception to his exercising his rightful authority. Protect him in his lawful endeavors.

USG LLC, state government, and local government: I am off-limits. I am out of the system. My behavior is at all times upright and I cause no one any problems. I do not wish to be disturbed in the enjoyment of my business. If I am perturbed in any way, I may make a mistake. I think we can all agree that I oddly have the ability to influence reality. It is in all our interests that I not make any mistakes.

As for my part, I have faith. My intent is pure. Lord, please let this deeply flawed man speak the right words.

Select: Who better than the jester to bring redemption for all?

I walk about on a very strange stage. It is one that may exist only inside my mind. But I have faith. I have faith that powerful people are in my audience. I have faith that they want to save the world as much as I do. I have faith that I perform a useful function.

We're going to start a new segment of the show. I call it "Select," as in select audience. This select audience is comprised of world leaders. I will title such pieces with a "Select:" at the beginning of the title of the piece.

For clarity of communication's sake, I will never employ irony in a Select piece. It would lead to miscommunication. Select pieces will be straight talk.

Perhaps the greatest contribution that I, as the deeply flawed jester, can provide is to advance the cause of joy in the world through cajolery of the audience, ego stroking, stern reprimands, and as a guidon for those in the Army of Decency.

If it is true that I have world leaders in my audience, then I must not abuse that power. I must act responsibly. Other pieces of mine may employ irony, name calling, epithets, scatological humor, and all other manner of foolishnesss. But Select pieces will be more sober. They will be as responsible as I can manage.

My true power lies in the plausible deniability of me. No one reads my blog, remember? No one has to confess to having read it, right? Chris is just insane. That's our defense. He's a kook. So when we're done saving the world, everyone goes about their business. Everyone saves face. And Chris goes back to work at the gas station. All goes back to normal.

Everyone gets to deny that they're taking their cue from the jester, but everyone gets the benefit of knowing that all other significant world leaders are in the audience, too.

I will ask for concessions from all parties. I will see that all parties get something out of it. But not everyone is going to get everything they want.

What do I want from you? In exchange for my straight talk, I demand straight "listening." We all know the score... Please don't insult my intelligence by feigning indignance. I _can_ feel my audience's reaction. It is a peculiar ability of the stage performer...

I will require feedback from the Select audience. I read the news and I take note of what is said. I am very good at understanding the meaning of diplomatic talk. It is useful to me that you flag an utterance to me by incorporating a word or sentiment that I would recognize. Speak to me... Do it in a subtle way so that you may later deny any special meaning in the utterance.

And when it's all fixed, no one has to know about me. And everyone gets to deny that they ever heard of that silly kook who thought he had world leaders in his audience.

I will continue in the next piece, "Select: Our Situation"

"Fox News Channel preps right-leaning satire"

""The half-hour show is executive produced by "24's" Joel Surnow and Manny Cota and creator Ned Rice, who previously wrote for "Politically Incorrect" and "Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" through This Just In Prods. It would take aim at what Surnow calls "the sacred cows of the left" that don't get made as much fun of by other comedy shows""

Story

It should be so easy to ridicule this monster to death right in its crib.

What will they be selling? More death and destruction? AssBananas? Penny Shining?

The Boy Pussy Fanclub will charge the Democrats of being partisan in their oversight of Bush.

The proper response is something along the lines of, "Investigations into ghastly Republican misdeeds is going to appear to be partisan, yes."

The secret is to take whatever word they use and turn it around on them.

Yahoo! Music: Sparkle And Fade by Hammock

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Personal message:

Use the Yahoo! Music Jukebox to discover and buy new music, listen to radio and more.
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Yahoo! Music: Kara Kum (The Bombay Dub Spaghetti Eastern Mix) by Banco De Gaia

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It's actually remarkably easy to rule the world.

All you have to do is promise to save it.

I haven't forgotten about you, Mr. Gonzalez.

And if you pull that again, I will drop the second most disastrous thing that people might want to know about the income tax. You know, that...gap...in legal mechanisms that you can't seem to fill...

The argument you _can_ use in court...

You know what I'm talkin about...

[Man nods head slowly, speeding up in tempo in realization. Slow parting of the lips to speak]

"_It_ was the Jews."

(emphasis just slightly more on "it" than "was.")

Yahoo! Music: Editions Of You by Roxy Music

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Growing up in Vermont in the seventies and early eighties, the only exposure to music was on the radio. The only way to discover new music was to simply take a gamble on some obscure band who had a cool cover that you found at the record store.

I discovered some cool artists this way, like Bruce Cockburn and Roxy Music and Brian Eno and Peter Gabriel.

For the most part, gambling on buying some unknown record worked out well.

Use the Yahoo! Music Jukebox to discover and buy new music, listen to radio and more.
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Oh, no. It's the "N" word.

I see that Michael Richards, the actor who portrayed Kramer on "Seinfeld," let loose with a string of racial epithets in a comedy club after a group of niggers started acting like niggers.

I saw the video on CNN's website. The piece is called "Kramer Bombs".

Brief recap: Richards "deviates from his act" (as if that's somehow not permitted) to call a group of troublemakers "niggers." (I'm guessing they were up to no good. The man is not to going to waste his breath unless they were ruining the show.) The comedy club audience was shocked and grievously emotionally harmed by this monstrous string of phonemes. "How shall I ever survive this mortal wound?"

One man states that "everyone in the audience was offended" --presumably both nigger and black person alike.

(I will say that Mr. Richards should stop doing comedy clubs. Comedy does not happen there. People get upset when you say nigger or fag or kike or dike or fuckface or NiggerBrainKikeHeadFuckNut. And, no, there are no limits to free speech when the attempt is to reverse a disastrous public course toward unfree speech. The ideal condition, apparently, is where the entire population uses only the permitted 37 linguist-approved words.)

And using shocking words is an invaluable tool in breaking down the audience's resistance to ideas. You know, like that maybe torture isn't so cool and that babies really are not designed to have eyestalks.

It's mind control. Please don't get offended. It's nothing personal. If you want a clean and odor-free existence, please stay home and watch more TV.

(And really, the man's shocked outrage should have been directed at the thugs who made someone think of "nigger" as an apt word.)

And by the way, if you have the balls to yell out "you're not funny," then you had better damn well be ready to take whatever he gives you. Consider it a...special edition of the show...

A working thesis I'm toying with these days is that people become offended and bothered and creeped out by people who are more real than anything they've ever seen on TV.

And _that_ is creepy.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Al Jazeera English

It does not appear that any cable system carries Al Jazeera English news. No matter; as providers of programming, the cable companies are not relevant anyhow.

You can get Al Jazeera here, by subscription: Al Jazeera English. I selected the "Jump TV Subscription" button. This "Jump TV" offers a plethora of foreign channels to watch.

It costs $10 per month, intro price of $20 for 90 days.

It should be refreshing to have an alternative to JewTV. Maybe I'll get something other than lies for a change.

There was one segment of note: A ground-breaking ceremony in Palestine for "9-11 Land: The Theme Park."

-------

May I also recommend "DreamTurk TV." It shows Turkish music videos.

"Democratic congressman says he will introduce bill to reinstate military draft"

"WASHINGTON: Americans would have to sign up for a new military draft after turning 18 under a bill the incoming chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee says he will introduce next year."

Story

It's a non-starter. Thanks, Rangel.

Lessee:

1. The United States no longer legally exists.
2. Everyone hates the Feds and it is now morally proper to kill them in self-defense. (Refer to this piece for the proof.)
3. The youth in this society are decidely anti-military --as would I be, seeing the degree to which the armed forces have defiled the uniform I once proudly wore. I am now embarassed to wear my lapel pins in public.

Any such draft notice arriving in the mail would be summarily thrown in the trash, where it belongs, with the rest of United States Government LLC.

Any more instances of not understanding the world around you, Mr. Rangel?

How's this for a brilliant idea: What say we eliminate the Army and the Marine Corps? They've proven themselves unsuited to walking among gentlemen.

And without a ready store of rampaging savages, maybe we'll have fewer wars around here.

It's all so funny, isn't it, Mr. Miller?

"[Spoken by a military] Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape instructor:"

"That America has gone to the depths of torture hurts my very soul. I know we have damaged our warrior spirit and placed a dark stain on the honor of our military. Not since Mai Lai have we been so dishonored as we have with Abu Ghraib. We have found, though September 11th, the blackest part of our American soul and have embraced in in a fit of false macho. John McCain should be ashamed of himself."

Story

Your photo, Mr. Miller, should be removed from whatever wall it may disgrace. Let us never hear from you again.

Psst.

Did you ever notice that I target only bullies?

If I were to walk straight up to you holding a mirror, you would look away. But if I can beguile you into chasing me through my hall of mirrors, you will eventually stare right into your own eyes. What you see there is none of my doing.

Take a good look.

I will concede that I run the risk of being consumed by the madness in here. My task is to get us all out of here alive.

Why is this kook still talking?

"The U.S. Ambassador to the UN, John Bolton, launched a scathing attack on the United Nations Friday.

Bolton was furious over the adoption by the General Assembly of a resolution which said the assembly regretted the deaths of 19 civilians in an attack by the Israeli military in the town of Beit Hanoun last week."

Story

If Israel Did It

And you question whether Israel is going away because why?

Story

"Syria is to demand American help in securing the return of the Golan Heights from Israel as the price of co-operation over Iraq."

You got it. Israel's going away anyway.

Anything else?

Story

"Israel orders killing of Hamas politicians"

"Outraged by an attack last Wednesday on the village of Sderot, Israel is determined to ensure the political leadership in Gaza, the West Bank and abroad will “no longer escape responsibility”."

Oh, the Troglodytes are grunting again.

Story

It's so much fun watching Israel lose it.

I'm dating Ari Berman now.

Just so you know. I saw him on one of the TV shows. I don't know if he's gay. In my world, it doesn't matter; I've got my sights set on Jon Stewart, too.