Saturday, November 10, 2007

"I don't know. That's the whole point."

When I lived in New York, I would occasionally take the Amtrak train home to Vermont.

I prefer to ride in the dining car. I like to eat and there are always newspapers there and people to look at. I once took note of a guy and he of me.

We chatted for a long while and it came up that I did some stand-up comedy. I let him listen to some that I had on my MP3 player. I submitted that maybe he might like to listen to "Weed," which remains one of my favorite pieces. Its performance was magical because I was not there for the performance of that piece. It's why I was unable to perform it a second time.

When the piece was over, he just slowly pulled the headset from his ears and looked at me with a profoundly confused expression. He said, "Who are you? ...What are you?..."

I don't know. That's the problem. I suspect that researching that is the point of this entire exercise.

I just finally got sick of not knowing who I am. Or what.

Though I have some ideas...

"Pencils down means pencils down!"

"You do what we say! ...Don't you dare conduct your own life without my permission! You're my slave! If those Greedy Fat Cats aren't giving me my cut, er, I mean, YOUR cut, then I say you can't work! ...Don't you dare exercise your natural right to work! Stop it! Stop!!! You're not displaying solidarity and ease of preparation or self-cleaning action! You're not a member of the herd and I'll tell people that you smell bad and wear ill-fitting clothes and say other unflattering things! ...So do what I say because otherwise I'll be out of a cushy job..."

This is why unions must be smashed:

This isn't the Golden Age of Film. This isn't 1935 or whenever. It's a new world now. Things change quickly. It's hard to see around the bend.

If you are a member of a union that demands that you get a certain number of precious breaks, or that demands that no production can continue unless you have a special man who --and only who-- can put tape on the floor to cover the cables, then you have removed yourself from the pool of people who are moving into the future. You're operating in a world that no longer exists.

Moreover, it is unreasonable to expect one party to agree to a contract --that is, a long-term promise-- if the future cannot be divined.

So work should be done on a casual basis. "I'll work this job for you, and if you like my product and if I like your pay, then we'll work on another."

But, oh wait: You can't do that; the Glorious Parasitic Union forbids it. And it has its hooks in the state legislature that makes it illegal for someone to work in that field without being a member of the parasitic guild.

Shove a knife into that monster and kill it once and for all. Its captives will then be free to flourish or fail according to their own abilities.

In the future, the best and most profitable productions will occur in right-to-work jurisdictions.

I have never desired to join a union because my product was of sufficient quality not to require collective bargaining. The only people who require collective bargaining are those who produce a substandard product. Dullards love unions. The excellent hate them.

It is a maxim in any field that twenty percent of a team perform eighty percent of the work.

As part of that twenty percent, why would I want my fortunes tied to the inept bumblings of deadasses who require collective bargaining? I would want them out of the profession immediately and into the breadlines where they belong.

"You don't have a spirit of solidarity!" You got that right. That twenty percent has never been much concerned about romantic notions of solidarity. They're too busy inventing light bulbs and building dams and launching satellites.

Solidarity with dullards is an association that we don't need.

So am I supposed to just start dancing for you people?

"Chris, where's your TV show like you promised? Dance for us! Dance, dance for your meal! Chop chop!"

No one has yet thrown me so much as a morsel to compensate for the life force that your innumerable tendrils of rapaciousness drain from my soul. It's amazing that I can get up in the morning. So I will do my show in my way in my sweet time.

I still haven't figured out what I want my show to be. Whatever it turns out to be, it's not going to be a straight-up anything. I never had any intention of working Jon Stewart's side of the street. (Whom I admire tremendously and at whom I will take the occasional swipe just to keep him on his toes. Competition in the industry keeps the quality of everyone's product high. And he's like my imaginary big brother, with all its complexities.)

I have reached some conclusions about my show:
  • I like the text-based portion. I can create entire universes here for no cost, excepting the cost of my time. This is especially cost-effective for destroying the malignant Establishment.
  • I want to have a video portion of the show. I like the Kookie Talk Express and where I do little bits.
  • I will continue to include YouTube videos. My show is music-heavy, and I would like to select YouTube videos based on some artistic value.
I tread a tricky line between being completely strange and insane-sounding, and retaining the credibility to comment on legal or political matters without tarnishing the topic. "Chris is crazy! So obviously his arguments are crazy and we may safely dismiss the significance of the topic that he has covered." Please don't do this, because it is disrespectful to the topic. Merits of arguments exist quite independently of the state of my mind. That's why I rely on logic: So that no matter how crazy I may be on any given day, the argument is valid or invalid completely independently of me. Treat arguments with the respect they deserve. But leave them out of the asylum that is my mind.

I exist in some kind of weird unreality. I still cannot confirm that anyone even reads this. To this day, I honestly don't know how you people are getting my material. So I liken my show to an unseen audience spying on someone playing by himself. I sometimes cock an ear and think that I hear the creaking of floorboards or a ghostly whisper. It's a very odd way to work. But self-consciousness destroys the entire process; you start "showing off." When I play to the audience, my material is not very good. So I would prefer to play to myself. If my play brings you joy or anger or comfort or insight, then it has been to my pleasure and fulfillment, because it has evoked in you what it evoked in me.

My show always has been, and is, and must always remain, me playing by myself. I fantasize that I have an adoring audience before whom I take gracious bows and from whom I receive roses and gifts and acclaim. But I think that if ever I were to receive confirmation that an audience actually existed, I would be too thrown to continue producing any decent product.

I prefer to live in an unreal world. Because in it, I can make anything real. I'm in charge. The ignored and the poor in spirit receive celebration and the haughty and wretched and venal receive destruction. In my world, everyone gets his due.

So I will continue to fantasize that I have an audience. And if I do, then forgive me should I turn from my play and scream at some unseen specter. Because in my world, that specter is as real --or unreal-- as you are.

I can't ever confirm anything to my satisfaction. My show, then, appears to be the attempts of an insane person to determine what is real. Take my show for nothing more than that, whatever it may turn out to be.

It is what it is. I don't want to fashion it. I want to coax it into whatever it wants to be.

I love each of the ghosts in my world, including each of you. I sternly dress down some of these ghosts, but I love them because they and I have come to enjoy each other's unreal company. These ghosts and I have chosen to remain together. And that's worth something to me.

Now that I have all my pieces in place,

I will shortly initiate non-linearity.

Can you guess how I will do that?

Friday, November 09, 2007

Who are you? What are you?

My signature pose.


There is a photo of Jonathan Rhys Meyers --whom I regard as adequately attractive to play me in my hit movie, a bit scrawny though he may be-- there is a photo of him in his Tudors get-up, seated, looking into the camera, with his right hand upon his upright sword.

My photo is of me in the same pose, wearing my faux-fur cape with the bulldog clip in front with my right hand upon my upright cane.

And thus you see who is in charge now... That kooky, silly-brain jester.

It has been communicated to me,

by means that I find it difficult to articulate to you, that if I do not stop drinking and smoking that I will die soon.

So I'm done with it all.

I'm done.

Mukasey doesn't actually know law very well.

...Unless it's some kind of barnyard animal law that permits rooting around in filth.

He contends that the President can ignore legislation if it conflicts with his supposed inherent authority to "defend the country."

The Executive is the junior partner here. Why? Because the Congress has the power to destroy it; it has the power to de-fund it. Obviously, then, an entity which is dependent upon the charity of another cannot be regarded as an equal, much less a superior.

The Executive is the piss boy. He carts the Legislature's piss like a good little street urchin and then disappears into his filthy hovel to await his next instruction. And should he presume to show his unwashed face where it does not belong, he gets a good caning.

So can we dispense with this cockamamie notion of the Unitary Executive?

And why it is the responsibility of a high school graduate, gas station attendant to instruct law professionals on matters of great legal import, I do not know.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Customers inquire about the plate on my car.

My short answer to them is that it's issued by another jurisdiction. (Which it is.)

I try not to engage them in further conversation on the matter because then I have to explain 9-11 and the fact that the United States doesn't actually exist and the concept of territorial exclusivity and that the issuing jurisdiction has as much right to issue a plate as does Vermont because the states have lost any moral claim to territorial exclusivity because they do not defend their citizens against agents acting under color of law of the now-defunct United States. It's a bit complicated.

Then they ask about insurance. Well... It's hard if not impossible to buy insurance to drive a car that is not registered with a state. No insurance company that I am aware of has yet realized that the states appear not to legally exist.

It's amazing that it's come down to this.

The Congress is going to have to de-fund the Executive Branch. It's the equivalent of pulling the battery out of the robot run amok.

In a time where true leaders are needed, nearly all we have in the Congress are people who are concerned about their own re-elections. And they don't want to be called names.

The country is under attack and lawful government is being dismantled by ogres and gremlins, and the blow-dried fakes in Congress do absolutely nothing to stop it.

"But they'll call me 'soft on terror.'"

The moral cowardice on the part of those who are charged with handling these matters is astounding. Congress does nothing. The news media --and I certainly hope you people no longer utter the phrase "fourth estate" with anything other than a sense of comedic irony-- have let their monster child grow into an adult.

The Fourth Estate?! You're not even relevant. You're not even seated at the table, much less included in the discussion.

I lay the destruction of this nation squarely at the feet of the New York Times. It takes a special breed to do journalism and you're not it. Street-fighting bloggers do the news in this country now. You just wet yourselves and blubber.

Get out of the way. And do not ever presume to include yourselves in the class of those who comprise the Fourth Estate. It's an insult to those who wonder, "Is tonight the night they snatch me up?"

Don't you dare look a blogger in the eye.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I'm continually stumped as to who is more stupid, Christians or Jews.

At least Jews know how to spell.

I will tell you that most so-called "Christians" are remarkably stupid people. They dress themselves up and go to the "church" socials and look down their noses at the coke addicts and the alcoholics and the prostitutes on the streets and cheer on the poisoning of the earth and the killing of people all in the name of Jesus.

Their "churches" are, for the most part, Satan's Playground. Jesus wouldn't set foot in their churches; he'd burn them to the ground. They've been converted into bingo parlors and dating services.

And now Pat Robertson, Mr. New World Order Satanist Himself, has endorsed Sociopathic Mass Murderer Rudy Giuliani.

Christians have pinned to their lapels the "Islamofascism" emblem but truly I suspect that most "Christians" would be hard pressed to spell it, much less define it, much less understand that it's an advertising term. "Something about a caliphate or something, whatever that is."

By the way,

The potty-mouth is a misdemeanor.

People ask, "Chris, how can you be a man of the faux-fur cape and still curse up a storm?"

Because I'm the naughty little boy with the heart of gold who saves the day. ...So the potty mouth gets overlooked...

...And because Bob Hope never played the shitholes I play.

Unions are bad for labor.

Regarding the aforementioned TV crew that cost four times as much to hire as they were worth:

The employer lost money. Where did it go?

Or the hotelier who couldn't convert his hotel: He lost money. Where did it go?

It didn't go to the labor: The film crew didn't get paid more. Nor did the drooling moron maintenance staff.

Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be converted. The "lost money" was converted into another form of energy: It was converted into political power. This political power was then used by those who control the union.

So, as usual, the labor came out empty-handed.

Let's see what you get for being a member of a union:
  • You require another man's permission to work. (The union.)
  • You cannot negotiate for greater compensation on the merits of your own work.
  • The fruits of your labors must be shared with the dullards among you.
  • If someone tells you to stop working, you must do so.
  • A percentage of your compensation is converted into political power and delivered to those who control the union.

So, as usual, the labor comes out on the losing end of the stick. Oh, you're being exploited, alright: But not by a transaction partner who wishes to sell his product (pay) for what the market (you) will bear. ...You're being exploited by labor unions who steal from you.

The destruction of that union is the best thing that could ever happen to writers.. (The ones who are competent, anyway.)

"Hey, Chris... I, uh, need some writing done... Are you busy right now?"

"Well, Mr. Producer... I'm kind of busy, but I think I may have some down time in a couple months. What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing big... I need some voiceover copy for a douche commercial. It won't pay a ton but it needs doing anyway. ...Anything you're interested in?"

"Yeah... It's fine that it's low priority because my time is kind of catch-as-catch-can right now. ...How's a grand sound?"

"We're not even sure we're going with the douche manufacturer, so I can't know that we'll use the copy. ...How's five hundred for fifteen seconds of copy?"

"Yeah, that's fine. Email me your ideas and I'll bang something out. ...Shake on it?"

[Union rep waltzes in] "Hey!!! You can't do that!!! You two adult humanoids cannot enter into a private arrangement amongst yourselves!!! You need my permission, and I say no!!! No, no no!!! ...Where's my cut, anyway?..."

[Chris and the producer look at each other and then at the union rep and instruct in unison:] "Get the fuck out of here, you fuckin' parasite."

Quick! Someone notify the losers at Fox Film!

Here is another copy of the Eragon video that I linked to, then got taken down by the crybabies at 20th Century Fox Film Corp.

And by the way, if ever you wish to extract the video from a Flash Player like YouTube and keep the video on your local computer, you can use this product:

KeepVid.com


Come on, visionaries! Yank the videos that showcase your unheard-of film to new audiences!

"Hey: How come thee, um, satanist crossed tha, uh, road?"

Two years ago, [President Bush] appointed one of his most trusted aides, his former communications adviser Karen Hughes, to lead the administration's fight-back against Islamic extremism in an attempt to improve America's image abroad. Although well versed in PR, Ms Hughes speaks only English and a smattering of Spanish.

Now, in a decision just as perplexing, he has allowed her to desert the administration for a second time to return to her native Texas...

...

America remains a "proud beacon for human rights", she argues, despite the images of the abuse at the Iraqi jail of Abu Ghraib, the continued existence of the Guantanamo detention centre, and the outsourcing of torture to "black site" prisons outside America.
Link

She's opening for Condoleezza Rice on their "Country-Fried Moron Tour."

She concludes her act at the VFWs and the county fairs on the circuit with an invitation to "join Condi and me after the show for some bingo at the defiled 501c(3) Christ's Church in Hog Neck. ...And bring your Left Behind collection, because we'll be awaiting Jesus' return when he comes down on a spaceship to see how well we've done."

On the Righteous Breaking of Rules

CHICAGO (AP) -- Chicago's Police Department is investigating an officer's use of a Taser last month on an 82-year-old woman who police say was swinging a hammer when they arrived.

Lillian Fletcher was rushed to the hospital after being jolted by the Taser last week but has been released, police said Tuesday.

Officials with the city's Department on Aging went to her home Oct. 29 to make a welfare check and called police when they saw Fletcher in a window swinging a hammer, police spokeswoman Monique Bond said Tuesday.

Officers arrived and in an attempt to subdue Fletcher, one of them used a Taser, Bond said. The department is trying to determine whether the officer violated department policy on the use of stun guns.

Link

Their greatest concern is whether tasering an elderly woman violates department policy...

Yes, I'm sure "department policy" permits using a taser on an (age-inspecific) person wielding a hammer. ...But an 82-year-old woman? You don't have to be a decorated kick boxer to evade her Hammer of Death.

A more appropriate question is, 'What will my friends think when they find out I had to taser an elderly woman who was wielding a hammer?"

It's like these tough-guy CIA interrogators who torture people. They're whining and quaking like little bitches now that there is the prospect of being punished for their heinous behavior. "But my actions didn't violate department policy! I had a shit-caked piece of paper that said I wouldn't get in trouble!"

I ignore all man-made law. I comply with it only to the degree that my behavior would mirror its prescriptions anyway.

We've got too many laws and department guidelines that serve not to encourage decent behavior, but to permit the reprehensible.

"Hey, fellers! Guess what I did today at work! I made one guy fuck another one in tha'ass and then I waterboarded another and made another guy drink his own piss! Yep, I'm so tough that I do exactly what I can't get in trouble for. ...Aren't you proud of me? Hoorah! ...Now I'm goin' home to fuck mah girlfriend and throw a beer bottle at some fag walkin' down the road. And then I'll rub mah fat belly as I watch TV."


Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Let me tell you a little story.

I have some experience with union labor. They are uniformly lazy and incompetent. Why? Because there is no incentive not to be. Unions are great equalizers: They punish the excellent and elevate the dullards.

Cable man story: At this one hotel that I serviced, the engineering staff were --by union contract-- afforded thirty minutes to perform a service call. So if an engineer were dispatched to change a lightbulb, he got thirty minutes to do it. If he were dispatched to open a guest room for me that took two minutes, he'd spend the remaining 28 minutes just roaming around and fucking off.

They fuck off a lot.

Another story: When I lived in New York, I knew this producer for a TV network. He told me that it was difficult to get anything done because the film crew --consisting of who-knows-how-many people-- had structured their breaks (apparently you have to have a certain number of breaks) ...they had structured their breaks such that this producer had a complete crew for only fifteen minutes out of each hour. In effect, these union employees were costing four times the fair-market value for their services.

Another story: A New York hotelier wishes to convert his hotel into condos. (That is, he wishes to put his own property to its highest and best use.) The unions don't like it because the hotelier will no longer need drooling morons fucking off and wasting 28 minutes out of every thirty. Union gets city to pass an ordinance or something saying that the hotelier cannot convert his hotel.

If given the choice, I would NEVER, EVER, EVER hire union labor.

Let's hope their union gets smashed. The dullards will take their rightful place in the breadlines and the excellent will get paid twice what they do now.

I refuse to work with someone to whom I cannot say, "You are lazy and you are now fired."

Skin that smokewagon.

I have a new video camera in my arsenal.

It's a hard-drive-based unit that records standard-quality video onto a hard drive. No tapes, etc. I bought it at the liquidation store at a good price. (I should have been using the money for the mortgage but an artist has his priorities, you know.)

It's quicker and easier to use than the mini-DV camera and better and almost as quick as the MPEG recorder.

There is a happy balance to be achieved in cost/ease/production value.

It appears that it takes three man-hours to produce two minutes of finished product.

With some slop in the formula, I'm guessing that it would take five (non-union) writers and technical persons two workdays to produce a half-hour, minimal production value show. And with comedy, low production value is OK.

My text-based show had nearly zero production value. But it was a stronger format than my video-based show is because the audience is conjuring the image in their minds for free, whereas I can only devise so many sets. It becomes an ever-changing set that can change at zero cost. What if... What if you did a TV show where every set was green-screened? What if it somehow became part of the show?... The audience would tolerate such a thing because if the writing is good enough, who cares? You'd never have to build a set... And your location could be anywhere.

I may be sharing this with you, but that doesn't mean I want some New Yorker stealing it. This one's mine.

I will point out--

--that the disrespect for fundamental law that allows for Social Security and SCHIP is the very same disrespect that allows for torture. You cannot condone one unlawful act while condemning another.

Government is a colossus of force. It destroys. That's what it does. It exerts political power, the utmost expression of which is the delivery of death upon its target.

This delivery of death may morally be exercised in defense of person and property alone. It is not morally exercised in "elective" functions. For example, deadly force is morally used in defense of one's person or in trying a murderer; it is not morally used in collecting taxes to pay for a community bus line.

If government knows only force --the utmost expression of which is the delivery of death-- and if deadly force is not morally justified in "elective" functions, then you see that elective functions have no place in government.

Government is an instrument of death. Don't try to change it into a catering service or bus line.

Like I kid to my friends who have a taste for big government and an abhorrence of torture: "Have you had enough of government yet? I dare say that you seem...cured..."

The question now to be posed to Americans is this: "Do you wish to live lawfully or unlawfully?" Because if you choose the latter, then you may not complain at what you may get.

We now see the true nature of government. It is an instrument of death. So keep it weak and small.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Team Alpha's Marching Orders

Situation: USG LLC has been taken over by members of a cult/business association/cabal/cartel. This entity, sometimes known as the New World Order, the Military-Industrial Complex, or Globalism, engineered 9-11 in order to launch their aim, which is complete enslavement of the human race. Enslavement is where you get to pay someone less than minimum wage. As a motive, it is not at all noteworthy.

This cabal operates in secrecy. Its actors will be found hiding behind the walls of intelligence services, executive privilege, and compartmentalized military elements.

The notion of the nation state truly is quaint. The cabal is supranational in nature and does not recognize political borders. It has its agents strategically placed in the militaries, intelligence services, and governments of Israel, the U.K., and the U.S., among others.

9-11 appears to have been orchestrated by Israeli intelligence. That entity certainly played an instrumental role in it at the very least. Department of Homeland Security is Israel's provincial American government.

Here is a short list of targets:
  • Israelis
  • American Jews who hold dual citizenship with Israel
  • Members of the American Enterprise Institute
  • Signatories to the Project for the New American Century
  • Members of the Council on Foreign Relations, the Trilateral Commission, the Bilderberg Group, and the Illuminati
  • George Bush, Dick Cheney, Condoleezza Rice, Michael Mukasey, David Addington, Norman Podhoretz, Michael Chertoff

Use whatever tools you may have at your disposal to politically neutralize these people or to be prepared to politically neutralize them. Start digging for dirt now.

The architects and actors of 9-11 are supremely and laughably easy to defeat once you understand that they MUST operate in secrecy. Shining a light onto them causes them to dry up and blow away.

They are found out and have lost their gambit. They will attempt to flip over the chess board by engineering further war and economic catastrophe in the U.S. and the world. You must prevent further military escalation in the Middle East.

An attack on Iran is politically untenable --unless it can be "shown" on the world stage that Iran attacked Israel or that Israel, our "ally", otherwise needs military assistance. It is for this reason that Israel will covertly engineer further war. "See? We were attacked! It's OK to bomb Iran now!"

This may be prevented by indicating that you are prepared to make public any smoking gun that ties Israel to 9-11. If the day comes that Israel provokes an attack and then jumps up on stage to turn on the waterworks, you just climb up on stage and say, "So you were attacked, huh? Well I've got these papers here that say you were actually behind 9-11... So let's hope the Iranians make that tick nation of yours disappear once for all. Right, everybody?! [cheers from the beer-drinking American audience]"

You can see that the Israeli Military Masterminds will then think twice about causing further trouble.

Apologies to my Jewish friends. You're going to have to sit this one out and watch from the sidelines. Your people are in rehab right now.

State Governments: Devise methods by which DHS and other federal orders may be ignored. Assemble evidence of Israeli and USG LLC involvement in 9-11 and prepare to use this in defense of your actions. Brief your senior law enforcement officials and have them prepare to arrest federal agents in your territory. If you fail to do this, your political unions retire themselves.

Justice Department: Assemble evidence of Israeli involvement in 9-11. Start with Michael Chertoff's stunning performance regarding the spiriting away of Israeli agents after 9-11 due to "visa violations." If you assemble evidence of Israeli complicity in 9-11, you may then assert that dual citizenship holders are potential agents of that hostile power. This includes Michael Mukasey. You may then legally ignore his orders should he not conduct himself in an upstanding manner. Should it become necessary to politically neutralize him, you cannot lose your job or professional standing. You cannot be compelled to commit an illegal act. Aiding and abetting agents of a hostile power is an illegal act. You can't lose your job.

CIA: I'll let you spooks handle the traitors in your midst in the manner most suited to the unique society that is your field. Do it with compassion and honor.

Military: Yours, too, is a unique society. Rehabilitate your ranks in a compassionate and honorable fashion. You know who they are.

We are at war with those who pervert law. If law is to be defined anew, then let decent men define it.

Remember the most fundamental truth: Where a thing cannot stand the light of day, it destroys itself upon public examination. Choose your targets and prepare to call them into the light. It's as easy as that.

NBC Video Rewind no longer works with Firefox.

I don't know what the problem is and I don't care. All I know is that I want it fixed.

If I am to take you out in public, you're going to have to learn to walk in heels and otherwise comport yourselves properly.

So... Will this writers' strike affect Fox News?

.

See how easy comedy is?

In blunt and brief comments on Saturday, American officials condemned General Musharraf’s move. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice demanded a “quick return to constitutional law.”

Link

Take your act on the road; you'll be a smash.