--because zero people have bought tickets to my show. All that was in my mailbox was a JC Penney circular and another red-colored letter from the power company.
It's funny that I actually have zero audience members because I seem to detect shades of Chris King Pop Icon everywhere. So maybe I'm just crazy after all.
I'll give it till the first of the year.
(You realize that what I'm really doing is asking for my audience's permission to end this useless waste of my time.)