Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Second Vermont Republic

So I sent some money to that Second Vermont Republic organization. I hope they won't find me an embarassing prospect for a member.

The organization is the vanguard around which appears to be coalescing the deep Vermont resentment of an unresponsive federal government. Of the Vermont Secession movement, UVM professor Frank Bryan once said, "Vermont is just obstinate." You got that right.

The planks of the manifesto are generally very reasonable:

1. Don't shove bananas in people's asses.
2. Try not to make people jerk off into each others' mouths.
3. Leave us the fuck alone.
4. And take your shakedowns elsewhere.

One plank that will go away is this one:

"Equal Access. We support equal access for all Vermont citizens to quality education, health care, housing, and employment."

Yeah, I'm not so big into the commie talk. I support equal access to all those things, too, assuming that one can pay for it and one chooses to sell it to the customer in question. Vermont's not going to be CommieTown, thanks.

It seems like a great organization. But it's quite unnecessary, actually, thanks to Chief Legal Sophist Alberto Gonzalez. He has informed us, after all, that the United States no longer exists. Remember, Allie? That was your career's masterstroke...