Please fuck off.

"Senator John Kerry (D-MA) has lashed out at what he calls a "house of lies" in Washington, RAW STORY has learned."

Story

Kerry continues:

"So our job as Democrats is to fight until we stop allowing the richest country on the face of the planet to be the only one that doesn’t have health care for every man, woman, and child. The Democratic Party must stand for health care for all Americans—or we don’t stand for anything at all."

[whispered in a strained, loud whisper:] He works for _them_.

Want good, cheap healthcare? Destroy the government. It does nothing except break things and kill people.

Another song I want to add.

Oddly, this is not available either:

"Up Above the Sea" by John Vanderslice.

I want to add a song to the show.

But it's not available through Yahoo Music.

It is:

"The Chemistry Between Us" by Suede.

I want to add a song to the show.

But it's not available through Yahoo Music.

It is:

"The Chemistry Between Us" by Suede.

[glance right]

When I lived in New York, I met a few comedians. I wanted to become friendly with them. I wanted to know what it was like to be a comedian.

None of them wanted to have anything to do with me.

We have won.

All that remains is the cleanup.

Informationally, the outcome cannot be changed from the present state in the time allowed.

Do remain diligent, and amplify your efforts. Skills and, thus, efficiency with them, result from amplification.

"Army throws weight behind chief who spoke for his men"

"Damage limitation in Downing Street, a midnight phone call and a rush to the airwaves, but general does not back down on the essence of his remarks about the aftermath of the Iraq invasion"

Story

The article continues:

"'My intention is particularly to speak up for what is right for the Army,' he has said. 'That is my job. That is my constituency.' This is language traditionally associated with politics rather than the military — generals claiming to represent a constituency in opposition to government were common in Ancient Rome, but extremely rare in British military history."

The man appears to be a master of understatement, if I'm capturing his meaning properly... I think he's saying:

"Hi. My...constituency...has the guns. ...You will want to look like you came up with these ideas...

Serial Title

I have decided that the title of my serial is:

"Chris' Madcap Adventures on Planet Credulon"

Well the Troglodytes are itching for another spanking.

"BEIRUT, Oct 13 (KUNA) -- Israeli fighter jets executed mock air raids on Friday over a number of Lebanese areas, once again violating Lebanese airspace and UN Security Council Resolution 1701."

Story

Watch them wail and cower and burst into tears as they erase themselves.

Yahoo! Music: The Killing Moon by Echo

Chris King Pop Icon (nowhere@ckpi.com) has sent you a page from the Yahoo! Music Jukebox. Click here to view the following: The Killing Moon by Echo Personal message:

Use the Yahoo! Music Jukebox to discover and buy new music, listen to radio and more.
Don't have the Yahoo! Music Jukebox? Get it Now. It's free. http://music.yahoo.com/musicengine

Yahoo! Music: No Guns More Glory by Tommy Guerrero

Chris King Pop Icon (nowhere@ckpi.com) has sent you a page from the Yahoo! Music Jukebox. Click here to view the following: No Guns More Glory by Tommy Guerrero Personal message:

Use the Yahoo! Music Jukebox to discover and buy new music, listen to radio and more.
Don't have the Yahoo! Music Jukebox? Get it Now. It's free. http://music.yahoo.com/musicengine

Now I know.

In my fun movie, the planet where Chris quite accidently finds himself is called Credulon.

Torture! Yippee! Great campaign platform!

"Now I've seen what happened in Abu Ghraib, and Abu Ghraib was not torture," Shays said according to a transcript provided by Democratic challenger Diane Farrell's campaign and confirmed by others who attended the debate. "It was outrageous, outrageous involvement of National Guard troops from (Maryland) who were involved in a sex ring and they took pictures of soldiers who were naked. And they did other things that were just outrageous. But it wasn't torture."

Story

No. It wasn't a sex ring. You will find photocopied copies of legal mechanisms that used language that permitted such a ghastly event.

And the crafters of it will be killed for it.

I want...Lon Horiuchi...

"O'Reilly equated the 9/11 Scholars with terrorists and threw his weight behind a move to have them being investigated by the FBI"

I already have been investigated. And they pissed themselves.

Story

Fox News is crumbling from within. It is no longer relevant.

Watch Cavuto's and O'Reilly's interaction.

Story

Your world is ending and you're talking getting rid of Christmas.

I have decided that I will ridicule Comedy Central into non-existence.

I should point out that my target is not the talent, but the distinctly unfunny suits who run the operation.

When I indicate to you that I require a television show so that I might better prevent the destruction of your planet, I expect you to deliver it to me.

How to get the crybaby Jews on board? Tell them there's a roll of nice, new shiny pennies in it for each of them. I am _that_ generous...

...I shall now enfold your network into my empire...

And then I will fire you.

The doors are locked.

I just realized that mine is a show where, once in, you...can...never...leave!

Because you don't know if you will be savaged in your absence.

It is the ultimate horror show. Carnage flies everywhere. And no one can leave.

Where do I sign?

"OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet (three metre) high marijuana plants."

Story

An...impenetrable forest...of weed...

Changing his tune...

"Bush trumpeted solutions to future U.S. energy needs that included 'solar roofs that will enable the American family to be able to generate their own electricity' and hybrid cars that will run the first 40 miles on electricity and won't 'look like a golf cart.'"

"We'll even have flying cars! Please don't kill me. We can can have neutro-generators to reduce our dependence on foreign oil! Please don't kill me."

Story