Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Come again? My robotic arms are too noisy for me to hear you.


The U.S. Military is demanding that thousands of wounded service personnel give back signing bonuses because they are unable to serve out their commitments.

To get people to sign up, the military gives enlistment bonuses up to $30,000 in some cases.

Now men and women who have lost arms, legs, eyesight, hearing and can no longer serve are being ordered to pay some of that money back.


I suggest that we enact a special Bat Mitzvah Tax. What's that? Say you want to put on a disgusting spectacle of excess for your precious daughter. (Preferably with ten million dollars of embezzled money.) If your disgusting spectacle costs more than $500, you pay ten percent to compensate the military for the signing bonuses of veterans who can't complete their terms due to their artificial limbs, glass eyes, and colostomy bags.

I certainly hope no veteran has paid Dime One back. If I were to receive a such a letter, I would regard it as so out of line that it must be a clerical error of some sort. I would throw it in the trash where it belongs.