Saturday, October 14, 2006

"Army throws weight behind chief who spoke for his men"

"Damage limitation in Downing Street, a midnight phone call and a rush to the airwaves, but general does not back down on the essence of his remarks about the aftermath of the Iraq invasion"

Story

The article continues:

"'My intention is particularly to speak up for what is right for the Army,' he has said. 'That is my job. That is my constituency.' This is language traditionally associated with politics rather than the military — generals claiming to represent a constituency in opposition to government were common in Ancient Rome, but extremely rare in British military history."

The man appears to be a master of understatement, if I'm capturing his meaning properly... I think he's saying:

"Hi. My...constituency...has the guns. ...You will want to look like you came up with these ideas...

Serial Title

I have decided that the title of my serial is:

"Chris' Madcap Adventures on Planet Credulon"

Well the Troglodytes are itching for another spanking.

"BEIRUT, Oct 13 (KUNA) -- Israeli fighter jets executed mock air raids on Friday over a number of Lebanese areas, once again violating Lebanese airspace and UN Security Council Resolution 1701."

Story

Watch them wail and cower and burst into tears as they erase themselves.

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Yahoo! Music: No Guns More Glory by Tommy Guerrero

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Now I know.

In my fun movie, the planet where Chris quite accidently finds himself is called Credulon.

Torture! Yippee! Great campaign platform!

"Now I've seen what happened in Abu Ghraib, and Abu Ghraib was not torture," Shays said according to a transcript provided by Democratic challenger Diane Farrell's campaign and confirmed by others who attended the debate. "It was outrageous, outrageous involvement of National Guard troops from (Maryland) who were involved in a sex ring and they took pictures of soldiers who were naked. And they did other things that were just outrageous. But it wasn't torture."

Story

No. It wasn't a sex ring. You will find photocopied copies of legal mechanisms that used language that permitted such a ghastly event.

And the crafters of it will be killed for it.

Friday, October 13, 2006

I want...Lon Horiuchi...

"O'Reilly equated the 9/11 Scholars with terrorists and threw his weight behind a move to have them being investigated by the FBI"

I already have been investigated. And they pissed themselves.

Story

Fox News is crumbling from within. It is no longer relevant.

Watch Cavuto's and O'Reilly's interaction.

Story

Your world is ending and you're talking getting rid of Christmas.

I have decided that I will ridicule Comedy Central into non-existence.

I should point out that my target is not the talent, but the distinctly unfunny suits who run the operation.

When I indicate to you that I require a television show so that I might better prevent the destruction of your planet, I expect you to deliver it to me.

How to get the crybaby Jews on board? Tell them there's a roll of nice, new shiny pennies in it for each of them. I am _that_ generous...

...I shall now enfold your network into my empire...

And then I will fire you.

The doors are locked.

I just realized that mine is a show where, once in, you...can...never...leave!

Because you don't know if you will be savaged in your absence.

It is the ultimate horror show. Carnage flies everywhere. And no one can leave.

Where do I sign?

"OTTAWA (Reuters) - Canadian troops fighting Taliban militants in Afghanistan have stumbled across an unexpected and potent enemy -- almost impenetrable forests of 10-feet (three metre) high marijuana plants."

Story

An...impenetrable forest...of weed...

Changing his tune...

"Bush trumpeted solutions to future U.S. energy needs that included 'solar roofs that will enable the American family to be able to generate their own electricity' and hybrid cars that will run the first 40 miles on electricity and won't 'look like a golf cart.'"

"We'll even have flying cars! Please don't kill me. We can can have neutro-generators to reduce our dependence on foreign oil! Please don't kill me."

Story

They have secretly posed as us in order to expose us all as faggots.

"In a piece entitled, 'Republican Gays are Closeted Dems,' Cliff Kincaid seems to allege that gay Republicans themselves are nothing more than a "Democratic 'dirty trick,'" hoping to use the party to 'advance the same homosexual agenda embraced by the Democrats.'"

Story

"That's exactly it! All those cockstrokers were just posing as Republicans! They were biding their nefarious time! ...Where's my space ship?...

It appears that Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have outgrown their employer.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Well the love of my life lasted a week.

I just don't get this dating stuff.

I saw some TV shows recently.

I'll need to know what's going on there if I intend to dominate the medium.

I like what those tv networks are doing. They show a full episode of a new show on their website. I saw a good one for a show called "Dexter." That man is very creepy. I had to shut it off.

And I saw that "Girlie Show." They seem to be moving away from sitcoms and toward these thoughtful comedies. It's a treat.

My favorite on the show is Tracy Morgan. The man appears to be truly insane. His performance in the episode is hilarious. This is interesting, because I remember now that one of the funniest things I ever saw was this video for Saturday Night Live, he played this old black man in a cartoon world with bluebirds flying around. And he's talking about how his favorite drink will help you "get bent quick."

"Rice: Does anyone really believe I'd ignore terror warning?"

"On the radio, [Condoleeza] Rice asked rhetorically, 'Does anybody really believe that somebody would have walked into my office and said, oh, by the way, there's a chance of a major attack against the United States and I would have said, well, I'm really not interested in that information?'"

"'I mean, it's just ridiculous,' said Rice."

Story


Actually, it's not ridiculous. You are a lying hood rat. I would be surprised if you were even _capable_ of telling the truth.

"I, in my capacity as The Supreme Shitstain on America, do hereby pronounce the methodology flawed."

"In a Rose Garden press conference, President Bush blasted a new study that estimates 655,000 Iraqis have died because of the war since March of 2003 as 'just not credible.'"

Story

"Please don't kill me."

You know, in most jurisdictions, purposefully causing the deaths of several hundred thousand people might prompt a prosecution...

Fifth-Generation Warfare

When I told you that I had invented fifth-generation warfare, I wasn't kidding.

And since I know the rules better than you do --you know, having invented it myself and all-- then I don't see how you can win. ...See?

I am having trouble posting.

I've tried a web proxy and it works better...

In the future, if my ckpi.blogspot site is unavailable, check both chriskingpopicon.com and ckpi.com. I will forward a domain to some other blog site.

Serial: 3: "The Secret...Legal Mechanism That Changes It All!"

[Our present episode finds us recalling that Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez, Esquire has revealed his true identity to Chris. Chris screams, "Run!" Chris, shocked, lunges out of the plastic chair and to his feet! In his zeal to do so, he breaks one of the chair's arms. So much for having the plastic-chair moral high ground.]

Chris turns and runs. He runs... about ten feet before one of the straps on his flip flops breaks. In a truly dramatic fashion, Chris falls and screams.

But before Chris can get to his feet, Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez, Esquire has alighted upon him!

Chris: "Unngghh... Get off me..."

Alberto: "I have finally caught up with you! [gurrrrggg]"

Alberto claws his way up Chris' legs and, in the process, pulls Chris' flannel lounge pants down. Chris has extremely hairy buttocks.

Chris: "Oh. my. god. I cannot believe you just did that..."

Alberto has now hauled himself up Chris' prostrate form so that his mouth is next to Chris' ear.

Alberto: "'Tis I! Your famed Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez! I have you in my clutches!"

Chris: "Your breath is the grossest thing I have ever smelled. And by the way, I added some on to your name."

Alberto furtively glances around, to see that none other might savor the vileness of his being. Shit bubbles drip from his mouth.

Alberto: "That is of no consequence to me... ...You thought you were so smart, didn't you? Well, there's one thing you didn't count on...mister funnyman... !It's a legal mechanism the likes of which you cannot conceive! [he almost chokes on his own shit, but he pulls it together.] It is a complete secret... Ta Da! But I have it!"

Chris: "I am not standing for any more of this. You are extremely revolting."

Chris wrangles free, pulls up his lounge pants, grabs the now-defunct sandal, and slaps Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez, Esquire across the face.

Chris: "I am the comedian. I will win. So take your shit-dripping mouth and your gurgly laugh elsewhere."

Chris turns and runs... and runs... and runs.

But Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez, Esquire is not so easily deterred...

Up Next: "By What Dark Mechanisms Do Men Plot Their Own Demise?..."

-----------

The exclamation point at the begining of the "...legal mechanism the likes of which" sentence is new. It means that the entire sentence should be yelled.

"In N.Y., Sparks Fly Over Israel Criticism. Polish Consulate Says Jewish Groups Called To Oppose Historian"

This is strange behavior from the Washington Post, but maybe they're turning over a new leaf.

"NEW YORK -- Two major American Jewish organizations helped block a prominent New York University historian from speaking at the Polish consulate here last week, saying the academic was too critical of Israel and American Jewry."

Story

This is completely typical Jew behavior. (Not really, but the ADL speaks for all Jews, right? So I'm okay with calling this "Jew behavior.")

Yahoo! Music: In A Secret Garden by Steffen Basho-Junghans

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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Yahoo! Music: Hatoa by Bonobo

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When will this glorious chaos ever end?

"...and more recently Rep. Tom Reynolds, R-N.Y. — will testify that a few years ago he was told by then-House clerk Jeff Trandahl that Foley had been stopped while trying to enter the pages' dorm in an apparently intoxicated state."

Story

I guess that Palmer guy is history, then.

True dat.

Piece

You are not going to want to be grilled by Alex Jones. Just so you know.

"After accepting an invitation to briefly appear with Ashcroft on Chicago's Mancow program, radio host Alex Jones grilled the former Governor of Missouri on why he was warned to avoid using commercial airliners in the weeks before 9/11."

Story

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Yeah, uh, if explosions last into the night, that, uh, means lots of your ammo is exploding.

Story

Um, you propose to avoid getting killed with what now?

"Bush's 'Axis of Evil' Comes Back to Haunt United States"

The administration has proven powerless on North Korea, Afghanistan, and Iraq. They can't even handle some kook comedian who --with great fanfare-- publicly ejaculates into Lord Pistonbottom's ecstatic face.

I cannot imagine them having any purposeful effect on Iran or Syria either.

Get me a beer, bitch. And for fucksake, clean yourself up.

---------

When I first started doing stand-up in 2003, I did some George Bush material. One audience member who stood out like a sore thumb at this one shithole bar one time was some middle-aged guy whose haircut obviously worked for the FBI. He asked, as if he were just kickin it with the kids, "Do you tell any George Bush jokes?" I replied, "Sure! Try this one: What's the difference between George Bush and Hitler? [wait for it] Hitler never got fucked in the ass at a Skull and Bones initiation! Har dee har har! Get it?"

He went away convinced that I was harmless. Big mistake.

See? If Sherwood had been smoking more weed, he wouldn't have tried to kill his bitch.

"Tom Reynolds (R-NY) chose to keep Don Sherwood (R-PA) in key GOP leadership job after Sherwood allegedly beat and tried to strangle his mistress"

Story

Sherwood while stoned: "Honey, listen: The one Force is related to its Complement by a degree predicted by the Golden Ratio. I see them giving form to all that exists in the Universe. To bring love to the world, we just have promote the proper ratio."

Sherwood while hammered: "Shut the fuck up, bitch! Open your goddamn mouth one more time and I'll cave your face in!"

Drink more!

These kids are smarter than you give them credit for.

"Echoing Drudge and [Michael Hinkleheimer] Savage, Dobson and Henninger claimed Foley scandal is 'sort of a joke' and a 'prank' by pages"

Story

Even at the tender age of sixteen, these pages are venal enough to be attracted to power, else they would not be attracted to the job. They're not going to be playing jokes that might compromise their ability to blossom into adult parasites.

So the issue really does remain that Republicans are lovingly stroking their cocks at the thought of venal little asses bouncing in the air. And everyone gets to unload it into the corrupt pillowcase of their choice. ...But the pages are not claiming to be the paragons of virtue here. The Republicans are...

"Do you have any evidence that they _weren't_ involved?"

Yeah, that's not an argument.

"McHenry Speechless When Asked To Provide Evidence That Foley Scandal Was Election Ploy"

Story

Obviously a Democrat is going to find this scandal useful. But no Democrat had anything to do with guiding Republican dicks into Republican asses. They did that themselves.

Yes. It is that easy.

That's the frightening part.

When James Baker comes to town it means one thing:

You are relieved of command.

Should I not use Google anymore?

I am getting sick of their censorship.

Your job is to deliver information. If you can't do that, then you are not relevant.

Monday, October 09, 2006

The North Korea thing isn't really relevant.

China will take care of them. This is not an issue.

I have an interesting story to tell you that involves the mindform of Andy Warhol.

I have made a new friend in town. We get together a couple times each week and enjoy each other's company. He's around fifty. He has lead a curiously interesting life, just for being your typical person.

In 1983 he called all the galleries in New York and gave them some story that he was in the biz and he needed to get ahold of Andy Warhol. So someone gave him his number. All these long distance calls to galleries were expensive, my friend says, costing around $100. (Calling long distance back then was expensive, for all you young kids. Long distance: All the way from Cootersville to New York.)

Well my friend manages to get Andy Warhol on the phone. My friend says, "Hi. This is Jim from Vermont. I just wanted to call and say hello." Andy talks to him for a while and then asks how did he get his number. My friend explained that he spent a hundred dollars and some considerable time and effort to get it. Andy, thinking this an impressive and reward-worthy feat, answers that my friend seems to warrant talking to. Andy invites him to call periodically. And my friend did.

I believe this friend of mine, because his life is too weird to have to lie about.

Money

Money is like a plant. It will grow with time, quite naturally. But only if it helps bridge a gap between one "present" informational state and one desired "future" informational state. Good things just blossom naturally.

In an economy, it is not useful to have economic crimes, that is, economic laws, because it forces the growth of something that is bad. Because as you see, a good thing will flourish naturally. Because there is an informational need for it.

So economic laws encourage the growth of weeds: economic, political, and social. These weeds can end up producing very bad things and, ultimately, the destruction of your planet. It's the outcome of the game.

OK.

The thinking that yields the concept of "time value" of money may be employed to understand the time value of information to The Field.

About "Weed"

I put that Pink Floyd airplane noise in there for timing purposes. It was to tell me, "You had better damn well be done with the setup, because the punch line is about to happen."

It worked out well because it kind of sounds like a speeding car.

Yahoo! Music: L'Inverno - Antonio Vivaldi by William Orbit

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My new La La La song:

La la la la
la ladee ladee la
shoobie doo ladee la ladee la la
One noose, two noose, three noose four...
One noose, two noose, three noose four...
La la laaaaahh la la la la...

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You know your bosses have hung you out to dry when you appear on the cover of Newsweek.

What do you...think happens next?

At some point the Bushes will attempt to flee the country.

Stop them.

I find Bush Senior's association with the Hinckley family to be a bit...too few degrees of separation...

I went and saw Jon Stewart perform in Boston.

I was not molested in the enjoyment of my business. ...Which is something new for the Republicans...

I loved his show. He's been doing stand-up for some time. It's interesting to watch other people work. He is very skilled.

I think some people in the audience didn't quite get it. I think they thought it was going to be a Daily Show installment.

----------

I don't regard Jon Stewart as Jewish. He comes across as Jon Stewart. And that's why I like him.

And I apologize for the material that I have to do.

We may be goin to Broad.way!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Serial: 2: "Who is our secret visitor?"

[To read any previous installments of this serial, just search in the box at the upper left of the window for "serial:" ]

In our last episode, our secret visitor has met Chris in his backyard. Chris is cooking dinner.

It turns out that really what happens is that our secret visitor is Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez, Esquire.

Alberto:[in a grotesque, gargly shit voice] "I want to share my latest creation with you! Arrggghhhh! GRGLE!"

Chris: "Holy fuck! Fuck this shit! The man is grotesque! He's a walking bag of shit that's ready to infect all that is decent! Run!..."

----------

Up next: "The Secret...Legal Mechanism that Changes It All!"

Yahoo! Music: Bedshaped by Keane

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You mean...the "Tallyban"?

"KABUL, Afghanistan (AP) - NATO's top commander in Afghanistan warned on Sunday that a majority of Afghans would likely switch their allegiance to resurgent Taliban militants if their lives show no visible improvements in the next six months."

Story

So...we've accomplished exactly...nothing...in the past five years except kill lots of people and shove bananas up their asses and ruin America.

Huh.

Give those torturers and sodomites the roundhouse they deserve.

"'Republicans are on the run and we can put them down for the count by hitting them with everything we've got immediately,' Democratic strategist James Carville said in a fund-raising pitch for the Democratic Senate campaign committee."

Wait. I've figured out the solution...finally.

We can solve a number of problems at once: After 9-11 actor Israel is erased, we'll take the empty REX-84 internment camps and fill them with the Jews who infest Washington. We'll put them to work in the camp woodshop, making dreidels for sale in the gift shop at "9-11 Land: The Theme Park." The dreidels spell out, "A miracle happened here! We got erased!"

We'll appropriate the property of Jews to compensate Muslims, and we'll turn their distinctly unfunny comedy clubs into gay bars. We'll take Larry Silverstein's ill gotten insurance money from his WTC "investment" and buy everyone ecstacy and roofies.

We'll put the camp comedians to work on stage at 9-11 Land. They'll tell their best jokes:

"Say, Sol... That Condoleezza Rice... She sure...is a...pistol! Some call her the...dragon lady!"

"That's right, Hymie. And she has...a unique...name, too! ...I bet no one...will accidently call her...Condoleezza _Nice_!" Ha Ha Ha. [audience laughs uproariously at the best of Jew humor.]

See? A number of problems solved. Finally.

-----------

This did not read properly with that there.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Is The Dennis Hastert gay, too?

Oh no.

Story

This may bear investigating.

So we're all in agreement then.

All the Republicans get killed.

And then we say to the Democrats, "Roll back all federal legislation to 9-10-01 or you get killed, too."

Legislating under duress? Sure. But it's no worse than legislating under lies.

Yahoo! Music: I'm Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance

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Yahoo! Music: Whore by Low

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Uh, this is nothing.

PITTSBURGH (AP) - Protesters greeted Florida Gov. Jeb Bush on his way to a campaign event for a Pennsylvania senator, and he briefly took refuge in a subway station supply closet to avoid the anti-Republican demonstrators.

Story

"Chris, why do you do comedy?"

It's certainly not to make your dead asses laugh.

You do fine by yourselves, sitting on the couch watching TV, shoveling chips into your fat faces and shitting yourselves. You don't need my help.

I took it up because of 9-11.

There's a war on, folks. And you don't even know who the actors are, much less what the strategy or objective is. The world almost became embroiled in a catastrophic war a few weeks ago. Do you remember? Or is your show on now? You likely would miss such a war; it likely would last less than fifteen minutes.

Objective? World domination. Nothing new. Hell, _I_ want to rule the world. There has never been a shortage of people who want to rule the world.

Strategy? Dictatorships worldwide. It's what I would do; they are an efficient means of governance. Dictatorships exist nearly everywhere already. The one country that stood in the way of a world dictatorship was the United States.

How to turn the US into a dictatorship? 9-11. Easy as pie to figure out. ...Unless you're a television watcher, in which case you know nothing --so please be quiet now. Let the big people talk... You know, the ones who read those silly old books and stuff. The ones whose minds have not been reduced to mush.

Who's behind it all? Businessmen. Nothing especially shocking. Make more money. The love of money is the root of all evil. Their souls are empty and they seek to fill them with money and power.

Your society was attacked on 9-11. But you don't even know who your true enemy is. You're chasing your tails, spinning yourselves into your own prison cells.

If you do not win this war, your society is doomed --as are all future human societies. Once the prison cell door closes, it doesn't open again. Is this something your television-addled brain can understand?

Who am I? Think of me as your neighborhood drill instructor.

.

I am an actor in this war. My weapon is ridicule. It is likely the most effective weapon that one man can wield. That is why I took up stand-up comedy: So that I could learn how to destroy things. You will know that I have been successful if I make you cry. I have given some of my targets a good reason to cry for once...

Who are my targets? I will not divulge them all, but here are some that you may have seen me work over. I have selected them for tactical purposes:

1. Republicans
2. Evangelical Christians (The "rosary bead fingering set," as I informally call them.)
3. Jews

"Chris big meanie. He make fun of us for no reason. He mean man." Not really. It's just that you accidently find yourself in the middle of a group of people who need destroying. Meanness really isn't a factor. But I will inflict maximum emotional harm. Make no mistake: I fully intend to leave my targets reeling. And the Future People are loving every minute of it.

Let's go down the list:

Republicans. An especially odious bunch. They are retards, as evidenced by the "R" after all of their names. How considerate of the news organizations to remind me...

The Republicans are the party of torture and child sex. Their leader, Lord Pistonbottom, sets the tone for the whole party. The Republicans don't exist anymore. Mission accomplished...

Evangelical Christians. They have been cultivated to provide support for the Republicans. They're making the world safe for Jesus one AssBanana at a time. I suspect that they are also being cultivated to act as "brown shirts," in the event that foot soldiers in domestic tyranny are required. Watch out for them. You know who they are: Those weirdos who speak in tongues and pray profusely, thinking they're going to be taken up on a spaceship to dine with Jesus. Wait until he delivers the punch line...

It is supremely easy to work a population into a religious fervor. They then make a useful social force. I am working on material to neutralize this threat. They are very dangerous. Do not underestimate them. They're like zombies.

Jews. I have spilled a lot of ink on these people. They were the most challenging target, owing to their painstakingly crafted marketing campaign to deflect any criticism of them. Anyone who takes issue with a Jew is, magically, an "anti-semite." That's fine with me, because anyone who takes issue with me is, magically, "ContraMe." You'll find its definition in my RidicuLexicon.

I spend extra time causing pain for the Jews because I have a special fondness for them. Republicans, evangelical Christians, and journalists could all disappear tomorrow for all I care. But Jews I'm attached to. I would rather not see harm come to them.

The Jews presently find themselves at the epicenter of enormous and very dangerous global power plays.

I will now say some things that are calculated to hurt you:

I have travelled the world and experienced many different cultures. Of them, I can say, truthfully and without reservation --and you can quote me on this-- that the American Jewish culture is the most disgusting one I have encountered yet.

Look at a Jew cross-eyed and she will --in one, well practiced motion-- turn an ankle, break a heel, fall down, start crying, and demand to know why you hate her so much.

Jews are weak and are natural born slaves. The concept of liberty is alien to them.

Jews will smear their enemies. An enemy is one who wishes to talk about Israel's inordinate influence on American policy.

Jews lie incessantly. If a Jew is talking, it's a lie. I can count on one hand the number of Jews I have known who were not pathological liars.

Old chestnuts? Nope. All personal experience.

.

The Jews are in a very dangerous place, because they are caught up with 9-11 actor Israel. 9-11 actor Israel will be erased. This is a foregone conclusion. The world will be better for it, because Israel is an abomination whose task is to secure access to mineral rights. As usual, the Jews are useful idiots. They think it's their homeland or something.

I hope that Jews can extricate themselves from this mess in time.

9-11 truth is now mainstream. No one believes the official 9-11 narrative anymore.

In time, the moving companies, the airport security firms, the art students, the sayanim, the Odigo thing, and all the rest will become known. When combined with the ghastly mess of the past five years and the erection of this domestic police state, it will be open season on Jews. The beatings of Jews in the streets will eclipse anything their grandparents could possibly recount.

So if you're smart --which is not a safe bet-- you will get out in front of this thing. "Hey...uh...we didn't know these guys were up to this. These are the guys you're looking for, we'll deliver them to you, and help you put them on trial."

.

I do not at all care for the events of the past five years. They have all been based on a lie. They were based on the machinations of businessmen and their mineral outpost, Israel.

I don't care for this police state.

If space aliens were to come down tomorrow and say, "We're stranded. We need to get home, but we need your Jews for fuel," I'd have to say OK. Take them. They're more trouble than they're worth.

You likely won't consider these words; it's not your style. It's just that everyone hates you, remember? It's everyone else's fault, right?

I say these things because I love you. But you're too stupid to know that. No one ever accused a Jew of being bright.

------------

Postscript:

In my privately produced movies, all Jews will be portrayed this way:

-They cry nonstop.
-They lie the most implausible lies.
-They work exclusively as accountants or prostitutes. If you need your money counted or if you need to put your cum in something, you pick the Jew of your choice. That's what it's there for.

Are you crying? Get in practice, because I haven't even started inflicting pain on you yet.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Five years behind the curve, as usual.

As a senior technician, I employed junior techs for grunt work. "Trace out these cables and tell me where they lead." My time was better spent devising conceptual models of possible faults. One does not countenance the suppositions of a junior technician.

Comedians employ journalists for the same purpose.

Know your place.

---------

(This piece is not targeted to those journalists who get it.)

Republican = Dead Man Walking

The Republicans' days in power are over. This is plainly evident.

This will come to pass, along with trials and executions, unless the Republicans retain power.

They can't rig the elections this time, because a rigging sufficient to overcome their disfavor would be statistically plainly visible in exit polls.

Be mindful of who might benefit from "terrorist" acts, especially one that might kill large numbers of Americans.

In that case, you would benefit by closely examining Republicans and Jews.

Should the legal mechanisms of the United States be brought to bear against the citizenry, you have the moral authority to defend yourself using all most minimally effective means. (This includes lethal force, in the event that lesser methods do not secure your physical safety.)

You are entering a dangerous no-man's-land of politics, but it is one that can be safely negotiated to a return to the rule of law. In this no-man's-land, you alone are responsible for your physical safety.

Jew = Toilet

Use a Jew as you see fit. It's in its nature to be employed in that fashion.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

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Hastert's yarmulke has flown off.

"He said if he thought that resigning would be helpful to the Republicans maintaining the majority, he would do it," Weyrich said in an interview. "But he did not think it would helpful for Republicans."

Story

There's going to be a party...later...

"Congress ready to celebrate end-of-war party
Politicians have $20 million set aside, despite poor news out of Iraq"

Story

This is fun.

I wonder if Lord Pistonbottom or Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez even have _time_ to tongue my asshole.

Yeah...

One, you're not the kicking-ass type. And, two, you don't even come up with good names.

Story

"[Kerry] refers to Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) as the 'spokesperson for the 'Retreaticans.''"

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Bravo.

Now it's the AP. Big surprise. Here's your award. Give us a smile...

Story

--------

To be fair, it appears to have happened only the once, unlike Fox's THREE, perfectly noticeable instances.

I like your stapler.

So the Republicans are the party of torture _and_ child sex.

It's a good thing that right-thinking morals are back in style.

We are all being very effective chaining this beast back down.

Give yourselves a round of applause. I mean that.

I saw the most beautiful, beautiful American flag the other day.

It was on a car. And it had tatters all over it, and it was filthy, and the stitching was long since gone, and it looked like a complete piece of shit.

Nice flag you've got the hard-on for.

The Republicans' defense amounts to

reminding everyone how other people have scandals! Oh my! Why aren't we talking about them?!

When I was nineteen and in the Navy, I once performed --against my initial will-- in a live sex show in a bar in the Philippines.

It involved two women and an audience of some two hundred, not-entirely-disinterested sailors and marines. I will tell you more later.

The Pathos Protection League is at it again.

"Tony Judt Speech Shut Down by ADL"

Story

Abe, am I going to have to pull your pants down and spank you again?

Who's Tony Judt? Don't know.

What was he going to talk about? Don't know. Don't care. Might have liked to find out, though.

---------

The Pathos Protection League is the boo hoo chorus of the whole, "Can we have these mineral rights, er, I mean, our ancestral homeland over here?" crowd.

"Trot out those rotted corpses, their memories be damned!"

And did this event actually happen? Don't know. But it's the ADL's M.O.

Can't talk now, I guess. That's Jews for you.

I don't think Abe understands that it's now a liability to have one's Jewishness known. You're yesterday's news.

Do Republicans know that this woman is talking again?

"Harris implies Dems, media knew of Foley scandal"

Story

Oh, this is going to be bad --gloriously, that is...

"Protests, insults disrupt Kristol 9/11 speech"

Story

"I came here to learn, and I feel it disintegrated," said business graduate student Ted Egner. "It's kind of embarrassing to the school. That is such kooky talk. I wanted to learn more about defying physics."

Ignore Kissinger. He's a retread.

So is Woodward. Woodward is not a journalist; he is The Original Manila Envelope Recipient. Big difference.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I don't give a shit if Foley was molested.

This doesn't mean that you can cultivate a young man's confidence so that you can suck his dick.

You're just another fuckin government cocksucker.

Foley's a dipshit? I thought he was a retard.

About Fox News labeling Foley as a Democrat:

Fox News isn't even trying to _appear_ like a news organization anymore. This is the end of the line for them. They know this.

Story

I will be traveling to Boston on October 6.

I do not wish to be disturbed in the enjoyment of my business.

I hear the cosmos vomiting.

"ROSS: We’re hearing quite a bit from former pages. They’re sending us all sorts of messages about possible other members."

Monday, October 02, 2006

Trust me, their depravity runs as deep as you care to dig.

Story

Torture and child sex are the same thing. And you've bought into half of it.

More SophistoTalk

"Soledad, that's so silly. No one knew anything about rosy plums being inserted into boypussy. I don't think that's being alleged. And... where one unloads it really is...I think...something that we'll just have to take a wait-and-see on. You know, this administration has been accused --variously, might I add-- of wearing both rose-colored glasses _and_ something else. So, really, when you think about it, you see that that precisely disproves your position. There. [nods head. smooths shirt]"

Video

What... what might be in here?

"[The Dennis] Hastert read a prepared statement in which he denied having any knowledge about the online conversations from 2003. 'No one in the Republican Leadership, nor Congressman Shimkus, saw those messages until last Friday when ABC News released them to the public.'"

This is easily disproven. Hastert will be caught in a lie, just when our appetite for them is...waning... and people will wonder whyever such a lurid... lurid scandal might be covered up. Don't want to open that can of worms, you know.

I am brothers with all my brothers'.

The mob. Jesus Christ. Are we trotting this out again?

"If the mob has explosives and a terrorist wants them and they have the money, they could become instant friends," he said.

Story

The mob.

"The Internet has become the new Afghanistan, allowing terrorist sympathizers to promote their radical ideas and to recruit and train followers right [from] their home computers. That makes it far more difficult for investigators to identify them."

I am going to kick your asses all over this stage. And I do it for decency and justice. Get it right.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Well he's caused quite a stir.

"We do not rule out that Mr. Cohen is serving someone's political order designed to present Kazakhstan and its people in a derogatory way. (…)We reserve the right to any legal action to prevent new pranks of the kind ", Kazakh Foreign Ministry
spokesman Yerzhan Ashykbayev told a news briefing."

Yeah, that's not really how it works with a comedian. He affects characters based on their artistic placement together.

You really can't conclude anything from his act. Because that would be a function of logic. Art is not logical. _He_ probably doesn't even know what he's up to.

Just watch it. That's all you can do. Don't think. Just watch.

There's just so many weirdos in Vermont. Sheesh, what is it with those hicks?

"I'm an old war horse and a candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives from Vermont who believes we must impeach Bush and Cheney, and we must remove the neoconservative cabal from power.

Our great nation has suffered a coup."

Story

Nice garbage news.

"Video showing Atta, bin Laden is unearthed. Two 9/11 hijackers pictured at Afghan terror training camp in 2000."

Story

Yup. This video was just magically "unearthed."

The video is not relevant considering that it is not theoretically possible for a jet to impart the energy needed to collapse a building.

Good thing MSNBC isn't a cable provider; the system would never get fixed.

[yawn] "Oh, boy... what crap can I print today? ...Are there any manila envelopes on my desk?"

No, he probably got his assed kicked because he was an asshole.

"Web site says liberals beat student GOP leader; police say no
Police: Student picked fight with friends at party, got punched"

Story

Maybe Mister...Zatkoff...had better discern the new reality.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

I guess you could say I'm effecting my own...administrative coup...

The Jester

Once the foolish Jester beguiles his betters to join his audience, he can say anything he wants. Because if he can't then one of his betters can't handle it. This is the Jester's license...

So you see who is in charge now. That kooky sillybrain Jester.

Yahoo! Music: Flying In A Blue Dream by Joe Satriani

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Oh no.

"DNC: Why did GOP House leader cover up sex crimes?"

Story

Yeah. OK. This is why this will be a disaster of cosmic proportions for the Republicans: The last remaining bastion of Republican support --the rosary-bead-fingering set-- does not at all care for child molestation. They care for it even less than homosexuality.

You will find more of this in Republican circles.

CMK67: when u jerk off do u eat ur own cum?

-----------

Please tell me that Foley material will not dominate my shift this weekend.

The "New Anti-Semitism"

Is this where we get to exterminate the Jews at long last? Where do I sign?

I have publicly defended the line against the most powerful malignancy the world has ever known.

I guess this makes me the most powerful man in the world.

Hi. Thanks for coming.

The Field will destroy those who oppose its will. This always occurs in an economically beautiful manner. Witness Mr. Foley.

They should not fear me, but The Field. I'm just its earthly spokesmodel.

Sorry. Rock Star is not the Jewish shtick.

Accountant or prostitute maybe, but never, ever a rock star.

Story

You're such a rebel, Ken. Show us your tats.

I have never felt safer or stronger.

Things are flipping very quickly.

There are too many fighting now. The system is crashing. This cannot be stopped.

So what do we do?

You create your own chaos. It is a glorious fucking up of the system.

Friday, September 29, 2006

Yeah. This makes it all just a complete fucking disaster.

Abramoff thing.

Story and Video

What's Foley's and Abramoff's relationship?