Yahoo! Music: Sleepless by Marconi Union

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Sleepless by Marconi Union
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Lawfulness and Free Government Grants

You will notice the legal mechanisms that have turned power over to the Department of Homeland Security. This is your new de facto national government.

The Congress is powerless.

George Bush is powerless.

You now see Michael Chertoff calling the shots. The Department of Homeland Security is the governing body which is designed to interface with the populace. It is run by entities which control the military as well as lie-conduits in the press, especially television.

To those with an exacting sense of the legal, the Department of Homeland Security is perfectly legitimate, and is the rightful successor to the United States Government.

If you look closely, you will see that DHS has the legal power to do nearly anything.

The only problem here is one of lawfulness. There is a sort of...discontinuity error here. DHS found its legal genesis in legislation that was passed

1. Without having been read, and,
2. In the wake of the 9-11 lie.

DHS could not have been created except in a climate of subterfuge.

Department of Homeland Security lacks an important element of moral legitimacy: It's not lawful.

Now, if you are one who is clamoring for more War on Terror Dollars for your city, then lawfulness is not a consideration.

But if your guiding principles are decency and liberty, then you will have no problem ignoring the edicts of this unlawful organization.

It's a personal choice, really. And don't expect your new government to defend you in your stand for lawfulness. That's not what government's about anymore...you see.

Hmm... Interesting

I'll file this away. It may prove...instructive...

Story>

Oh, and also Hi.

You're fighting yesterday's war.

You not know chaos theory good.

Hi.

I will ask you... Which is the more historically significant? A fine comedian or more generic government lies? Which has greater temporal...staying power?

She had once shown kindness to me.

I had been meaning to say...

Elizabeth Maupin in Orlando had once written a very kind review of a show of mine.

I didn't put it up on the website only because I couldn't have people seeing the messy beginnings. I needed everyone to buy into my being the best already.

I don't have it handy, and I can't really remember how to do that website anymore anyhow, and it's on a different computer, anyway.

But I wanted to let you know.

Bravo. Bravo...

I'm on to you. [finger wag]

The reason why Chief Legal Sophist Alberto Gonzalez says nothing for so long during that questioning, is because:

1. He is afraid of being kllled, and,

2. He just gives me more material whenever he talks.

----------

Oh no... I feel more cocksucking and killing jokes coming on. Can't I ever just stop?

Is it real?

I'm playing The Jesus --or at least my conception of The Jesus.

Don't blame me if my execution is flawless. ...I'd like to go home after the show, too.

Yahoo! Music: Under The Milky Way by The Church

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Under The Milky Way by The Church
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Autopsy

Let it be known that the United States was done in by a series of legal mechanisms that had been laid over several decades.

Stumbling back...

The 9-11 Truth Movement is forcing The Perpetrators' hand.

We are calling the shots here. There is tremendous power in us.

We shall prevail.

Run through those printouts yet?

Your greatest tactical error? You believed your own marketing.

Whoopsie Daisy.

There is value in remembering that it's a show. And yours has some serious...structural...deficiencies.

The show always has to end. You've been caught flatfooted.

CommieTown, USA

Somebody says that you now can't bring contact lens solution onto an airplane. (And, oh yeah, they did think ahead and give you a reason why, the implausibility of it notwithstanding.)

Do you need any more proof that your government has been taken over by Communists?

That's how they, like, act.

I quit flying, one, because of an ominous voice in my head and, two, because I said, "Fuck this shit. They can all go fuck off." So I quit flying.

More complete lies today.

"The London conspiracy is 'a stark reminder that this nation is at war with Islamic fascists who will use any means to destroy those of us who love freedom, to hurt our nation,' the president said on a day trip to Wisconsin. Story

Again, this is not relevant considering that 9-11 was an inside job.

And the whole freedom mantra is obscenely threadbare. No one's interested in freedom. I don't know why I bother.

This is what is called, in the parlance of the industry, "news."

Story

...About vote rigging in Florida. ...By the computer programmer who was commissioned to do it.

I always knew there was something wrong at the Weekly. Tin-foil hat wearin' weirdos, is what I say. ...Ungh...I can't believe that in today's dangerous world...that people can hate America this much.

Safety Measures

"Only the barest essentials - including passports and wallets - will be allowed to be carried on board in transparent plastic bags." Cockamamie Story

The article goes on to state that:

"Each passenger may carry one pen...black ink...stored in a toothbrush holder...with his nam on it...and entrusted to the in-flight representative of the Department of Anti Not Niceness. If he wishes to use it, he is to raise his hand, and the attendant will see if he can find it."

I outdo even myself.

In case you hadn't noticed, it appears --just by being so pissed off about everything-- that I did, quite accidently, invent Fifth Generation Warfare. The war of the pissed off, lonely drunk. How do you beat him?

M.O.tive

I fight for Truth. All else derives from it.

There is more than one audience here. You can't know which material is for whom. I apologize for that...structural...deficiency.

Yahoo! Music: New Slang by The Shins

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New Slang by The Shins
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Insane and Dangerous

Not only is Israel targeting civilian infrastructure in Beirut, but it is threatening to kill UN engineers if they repair bridges.

"Senior UN officials reacted angrily to the destruction of a temporary causeway over the Litani river overnight. "We must be able to have movement throughout the country to deliver supplies. At this point we can't do that," said David Shearer, the humanitarian coordinator for Lebanon. "The deliberate targeting of civilian infrastructure is a violation of international law." Story

Now me not know much about law... Blackstone KookieHead. Vattel BumBumBrain.

International law --from my gas-station-attendant perspective-- regards nations as individuals, and this family of nations it regards as a society of individuals.

Israel --as an invidual in this society-- has gone insane. And its combativeness is placing the very earth at risk.

At this point, it becomes morally proper to calmly walk up to this individual and put a bullet in his head.

Mourn him, give him a service. But lament his insanity. And remain confident that you saved your own grandchildren.

Again, not relevant...

I often read Time Magazine for material.

Story

This may come as a shock to Mr. Weisburd, but this information --even if true-- makes no difference considering that 9-11 actor Israel will be erased. Oh wait; no need to do that. It's erasing itself. Harold blew his own brains out, too.

An Audience of the Soft and Stupid

Reference Alert

"Do you know in what year 9-11 occurred?"

[Confused] "I think it was the year I got my prescription drug benefits. Or maybe it was when Medicare paid for my Hoveround. Oh, I can't remember. And who cares? I never use it anyhow; I can't get it into the RV. ... 9-11... When does it come on?... It's after Golden Girls, isn't it? That's right: I watch Golden Girls and then play some tennis at the clubhouse and come home and watch Fox News. See that? [motions toward mantle] That's a signed photo of Sean Hannity. Some of us here at Whispering Pines have a little contest going to see who can get the most signed photos of our heroes. ... Sure, I've heard that cockamamie story that 9-11 was an inside job. That's just crazy talk. Logically it has to be, because otherwise [gulp] I won't get my free meds. And then we couldn't afford to go to the Poconos this year. So who cares what year it happened? ...Fox warned me about people like you. You're one of the insurgents, aren't you?"

Weirdness

The last five seconds of this video are the most bizarre:

Story

This man exemplifies the Fox News audience. He believes that all this rubble magically happened due to faulty building construction.

I am truly living in Bizarro World. At first I thought it was harmlessly confined to my own diseased mind. But it is now apparent that it exists, objectively, outside my mind and that people like this man are in the end-stages of reality-non-observance.

The psychological phenomenon of cognitive dissonance predicts that this man will concoct ever more fantastical rationales for his view of reality.

In his reality, he is good. His actions and support for the war are a reflection of his inherent goodness. He will, therefore, interpret data to support that view. To do otherwise would cause his reality to collapse, providing him with the irrefutable proof that he has been duped. He might even have to consider that he is, indeed, quite "bad."

This would cause grave damage to his psyche. He is fighting for his emotional life. To acknowledge reality at this point would destroy his own sense of self.

People like this man --and I don't mean this jokingly-- they belong in a mental hospital. They are emotionally ill. Logic is not relevant to these people. They are very close to psychic death.

They need an intervention, of a humanitarian nature. ...As if he were a drug addict.

Here's your ass.

Mr. Gingrich, we're not the _in_surgency...we're the _re_surgency.

Get it right. We are the resurgency of decency and liberty. And we are kicking your fucking asses.

Yup. Great Idea.

Joseph Heeee...berrrr...mannnn.

Just what we need. More Jews with their hands in the till.

--------

What with all your sins, I can't help being...ContraYou...

Yahoo! Music: Lush 3 (Euro Tunnel Disaster '94) / Walk About (John Peel Sessions) by Orbital

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Lush 3 (Euro Tunnel Disaster '94) / Walk About (John Peel Sessions) by Orbital
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That was cool.

I have to tell this story to you and it is completely true.

Some hippie college kids came into the gas station the other weekend. They were headed to some stoner music festival in Vermont's Northeast Kingdom. Three guys. They had their long hair and sandals.

They bought five dollars in gas and paid in dimes.

They searched among themselves for another five dollars so that they would be able to buy a scratch-off lottery ticket. I overheard that they needed more money for the trip. They wanted to take a gamble...

They asked me to pick them "a winning ticket."

Feeling playful, I said, "I have the power to do that." I waved my hand around in front of the ticket display and thrust it at one of games. I said, "This is your winning ticket." I handed it to them.

They went to the other counter and huddled around and scratched some of it off. It was a poker game where you get twenty hands, or tries, or whatever. I sauntered over there because they were cute and I cleaned the counter nearby.

One of them said, "Hey. Let's have this guy play one." They all agreed, so they gave me the nickel and the ticket. They had scratched off ten of twenty hands. It was my turn. Hand number eleven. I scratched it off and they won twenty dollars.

They all freaked.

So I ran the ticket through the reader and keyed in the validation code and gave them their money. ...For their trip to stoner land.

And they gave me five bucks.

This all was so cool in so many ways.

I'll let someone else figure the odds, but it seems entertainingly unlikely.

Some New York Stuff

I was thinking this fondly earlier:

I once did a shitty set at this one comedy club that was having tryouts or whatever. I don't recall the name of the club. It was the one that Rodney Dangerfield started.

Comedy clubs are not my format. They never were. I tried a few and I sucked at all of them. It's time to pronounce it not your...format...

But I was in New York and I figured it was the thing to do. So I stood in line in the freezing cold in January for three hours and got my number, and was lucky enough to get a spot.

Come performance night, I didn't follow the rules. I had a written setlist that I made no secret of. Apparently this is against the rules. I use a setlist...that is clearly visible to anyone interested in such a thing. My audience often finds it useful that I know what I'm talking about now.

Yeah, so it didn't go so well and I just ended up creeping everybody out.

For anyone who may be considering going into standup, I will say not to be discouraged if you don't do well at a comedy club. A comedy club has one function: To sell drinks. You had better keep those people's mouths open long enough for the waitresses to dump drinks down their throats. And by the way, keep your thoughts to yourself or you don't get called back next week. That's how it is there.

One of the coolest scenes in New York was in the cellar of this one shithole bar where the owner wouldn't charge you anything to use it because it stunk of beer and piss.

It was some guy with a mike and a stage and some people telling jokes and hanging out and drinking beer. I performed there a couple times. Comedy happened there. And because comedy happened there, everyone was funny. And everyone laughed. We did...shit...jokes. We did meta jokes. And we had a great time. But I'm pretty much a recluse, so I quit going. It takes a lot of...emotional capital...to go out sometimes.

So go somewhere where the comedy happens.

.

I remember at this comedy club that had the tryouts, they have a wall with a bunch of photographs of comedians. Some whose shtick was a smash for about five seconds...and others who had become enormous monsters.

I say this for no particular reason...and I hope it's not received embarassingly...

I saw Adam Sandler's photo on the wall. He was in his early twenties. All I could whisper was, "You are so beautiful." That was one great photo.

I really liked that "Punch-Drunk Love" movie. It was very creepy. And funny, in a very muted way. It was an elegant film really.

.

There were parts of New York that I really liked. I would go to Central Park around --What? What is it? 59th street?-- and sit and look at people and drink a water.

I worked as a cable man in fine hotels --I had to quit because I knew that it just...would not do...to be working at these hotels knowing the kind of material I wanted to be doing. So it was time to move back to Vermont.

But in New York I worked a job that I was very good at. As a result, I rarely had to do anything. So I would roam around Manhattan and look beautiful and brooding.

.

Enough of this thread.

What I look like.

Here's what I look like:

Image

I don't know what this show is, but I like the concept and I've decided that I'm going to be on it.

APPLICATION (SEC 4A, ESSAY ON YOUR FITNESS, 1000-2000 WORDS)

"I'm the Supreme Ruler of 3-Space. I hope that clears things up."

------------

For some reason, when you bring up the HeroMachine, it doesn't show the Temporal Focuser in my left hand. The radionics-looking thing, a light color, yellow, maybe.

I hadn't read anything from Orlando in a while...

Potato Chips

I was sitting on the porch, eating some potato chips and I dropped one on the floor for Wonderboy. I said to him a moment later, "You shouldn't be eating that garbage food. That's for people."

Another possibility

The reason why the press corps briefing room was shut down is because Tony Snow threatened "to sing." He knows things aren't going well.

George Bush has been relieved of command. He knows this. This final appearance there was his "farewell tour."

It was a veritable hit parade of his crowd pleasers:

-"You're Lookin Pretty"

-"(That's What You Get When You Bring Up a) Crackpot from Texas"

-"Callbacks to Stale Material (Medley)"

-"No Velvet for Me, No Velvet for You"

-"You...Can't Even...Put on Your Makeup! So There! Hardy Har"


The man reminds me of David Brent doing his standup routine.

I want Bill Kristol to know that he wrote the joke that destroyed this man.

Is this how it ends?

Religious folk... You know who you are... Did you really think it would take the end of the world to bring Jesus back? Maybe he would need to come back only to prevent you people from destroying it. ...In anticipation of his return. Get it? It's a no-win.

But how it ends in the story is that you realize that your true enemy is an energetic being. Not each other. And that realization is, itself, the willing into existence of The Jesus...who saves the world from your true enemy.

And then we'll all have cookouts and sing songs. And he gets his parade.

And that is how it ends. Because that is what I have decided. Because this is my show...and the energy is great right now.

I am so awesomely powerful. If only I had known.

Me hate Bush so much that me alter spacetime and make buildings fall right down faster. Me powerful.

Story

Me like your stapler...

---------

And Mr. Dykes, you don't have to be a journalist. We're all trying to learn how, in the absence of role models. But do run your story through spell check.

You people can't even talk without looking stupid.

It seems that Mr. Jake Tapper, Guardian of Truth at ABC News, has blown the whistle on some meta-fake spoof of Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth" film. Story

He cautions the good people of America:

"So next time you're reading something on the Internet from a supposedly 'real person pushing a movie, defending an actor, talking about a politician, keep in mind that it might not actually be a real person but a corporate hired gun, selling you an idea through deception."

Are we back to the whole "only weirdos and anti-semites use the internet" thing again? That's so 2001.

But anyway, back to your point: We agree whole-heartedly. Why do you think we don't watch ABC News?

Did I make you cry? At least that's not an AssBanana in your ass.

Just in case people feel like bursting into tears... In the cold calculus of war, there is no room for concern about hurt feelings.

When we win, when the fog is lifted, you will understand my methods. And you might even identify your true enemy. But maybe that's too much to ask...

In the meantime, dab away your tears and remain confident that you too will benefit from lawful government. I may be a filthy ContraYou, but in the end you'll rush to be at my parade.

I know it will be hard. ...But do try to stem the waterworks.

Here's my quandary:

Just so everyone is clear on my position:

I indict for active participation in the crime of 9-11 the following:

-Well placed renegade elements within the intelligence agencies of the United States, The United Kingdom, and Israel, among perhaps others.

-Renegade elements within the militaries of the United States and Israel, among perhaps others.

-Renegade elements within the CIA and FBI, among likely other federal Executive-branch agencies.

-George W. Bush

-Donald Rumsfeld

-Dick Cheney

I indict for complicity in the theft of American liberty and for crimes against the very conception of human decency prosecuted in the actions against the peoples of Afganistan, Iraq, and Lebanon the following:

-All members of the United States Congress voting in favor of the Patriot Act, without even having read it, and for the authorization of military force in the aforementioned theaters or for the delivery of weapons to Israel.

Whereas 9-11 was a self-inflicted wound and whereas the Patriot Act was passed without due deliberation, I recognize, in keeping with any American tradition of law, that it is null and void.

I am living in a land of complete lawlessness. And I don't quite know what to do about it. All I can conclude is that the United States no longer exists, my oath-mandated efforts to defend the Constitution against enemies foreign and domestic notwithstanding.

God help the American legacy.