Video: Ridiculon 5000

Here is the "missing" Ridiculon 5000 video. Don't take it down again, boys.

BTW, if anyone has the ability to save any of this stuff, please do so as I post it.

Uh huh.

There is a Ridiculon 5000 video missing from my Blogger material. Why is that?

Oh, so that's why.

I now...understand...why you've been run out of every country that's hosted you. You are truly doomed --by some fantastical, karmic curse-- to wander the earth as a result of your own continuing misdeeds.

Just stop it, already. No one really is out to get you.

Ah, the possibilities...

I wonder how my comedy career might have gone if so many people hadn't needed killing.

The president is always right.

"The president's not a lawyer. You are. The Justice Department advised him. Did you give him such a cockamamie idea or what?"

Give 'em hell, Brother.

Oopsie

The Communists had committed a lamentable tactical error...

All efforts at gun control halted abruptly sometime in the late nineties, when it became apparent to them that it was unachievable by lawful means.

Their haste to establish their global hegemon will prove their undoing. They left lying around the means to restore lawful government.

They left an army of some one hundred million. That's a lot.

Guess whose army it is...

Hi.

George Bush understands now that he will be executed.

It's fun watching this process.

Not so fast

"But as of right now, we cannot effectively punish those who have committed war crimes."

We're working on it...

Mmm

Comedians --the better ones anyway-- get into the business because they want to save the society that they both love and despise,... the society in which they only ever wanted to be a welcome member.

As usual, I'm Johnny Come-Lately. ...What's left for me?

Lab Analysis

Did you ever wonder what was really in HappyTimeLumLumProduct? It's this:

"[Of Baghdad] one international official told me of reports among his staff that a 15-year-old girl had been beheaded and a dog's head sewn on her body in its place; and of a young child who had had his hands drilled and bolted together before being killed."*

You've been sold poison. It was designed to kill you.

Your society is over. You know this, right?

For me, it's on to the salesmen. I will exact my revenge. You will watch. That is the relationship here.

And for your society, you might --oh, I don't know-- set about identifying your true enemy. ...It might be useful. And stuff.

--------

*There's no way I can know this is true. But I suppose it can be as true as anything else I hear. And considering the dehumanizing savagery that is bred in war, if not this then something similar.

My conscience is clear. I go to bed each night with a smile on my face, content that I am doing all I can. I don't envy you the ghosts that will torture you for the rest of your lives.

Pre-fight Banter

"So, Jim [turns to camera 2] ...the Supreme Ruler of 3-Space versus the Supreme Leader of Cucka Land. Who's your money on?"

I'm even better than I thought.

You know...

If I'm saving the world, then --as this was the flashpoint of the Great Hahperdidah Wars-- then I'm saving the universe.

And if The Parasite is an entity belonging to the metaverse...

Then, quite logically --so don't argue with it or else you're a filthy ContraMe-- I am saving the metaverse.

My official slogan is, until further notice, this:

"I saved the metaverse. [cigarette exhale] So I'm not sweating it, either."

Never a truer word...

"In the long run, the way you defeat this enemy is the spread of liberty. And that's what you're seeing unfold."

You are the genius, aren't you? Pronounce yourself defeated.