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Saturday, September 30, 2006
The Jester
Once the foolish Jester beguiles his betters to join his audience, he can say anything he wants. Because if he can't then one of his betters can't handle it. This is the Jester's license...
So you see who is in charge now. That kooky sillybrain Jester.
So you see who is in charge now. That kooky sillybrain Jester.
Yahoo! Music: Flying In A Blue Dream by Joe Satriani
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Oh no.
"DNC: Why did GOP House leader cover up sex crimes?"
Story
Yeah. OK. This is why this will be a disaster of cosmic proportions for the Republicans: The last remaining bastion of Republican support --the rosary-bead-fingering set-- does not at all care for child molestation. They care for it even less than homosexuality.
You will find more of this in Republican circles.
CMK67: when u jerk off do u eat ur own cum?
-----------
Please tell me that Foley material will not dominate my shift this weekend.
Story
Yeah. OK. This is why this will be a disaster of cosmic proportions for the Republicans: The last remaining bastion of Republican support --the rosary-bead-fingering set-- does not at all care for child molestation. They care for it even less than homosexuality.
You will find more of this in Republican circles.
CMK67: when u jerk off do u eat ur own cum?
-----------
Please tell me that Foley material will not dominate my shift this weekend.
I have publicly defended the line against the most powerful malignancy the world has ever known.
I guess this makes me the most powerful man in the world.
Hi. Thanks for coming.
The Field will destroy those who oppose its will. This always occurs in an economically beautiful manner. Witness Mr. Foley.
They should not fear me, but The Field. I'm just its earthly spokesmodel.
Hi. Thanks for coming.
The Field will destroy those who oppose its will. This always occurs in an economically beautiful manner. Witness Mr. Foley.
They should not fear me, but The Field. I'm just its earthly spokesmodel.
Sorry. Rock Star is not the Jewish shtick.
Accountant or prostitute maybe, but never, ever a rock star.
Story
You're such a rebel, Ken. Show us your tats.
Story
You're such a rebel, Ken. Show us your tats.
I have never felt safer or stronger.
Things are flipping very quickly.
There are too many fighting now. The system is crashing. This cannot be stopped.
There are too many fighting now. The system is crashing. This cannot be stopped.
Friday, September 29, 2006
BTW
"brb...my mom is yelling"
means
"you are a complete freak and I am terminating this communication. Even if I _were_ gay, you are old and ugly."
means
"you are a complete freak and I am terminating this communication. Even if I _were_ gay, you are old and ugly."
Do I...ahem...make you a little horny?
Well he went down quick.
Now let's work on the rest of them.
And wait: Foley. He was (I think) the guy who comissioned the computer programmer in Florida to write purposefully hackable voting machine software. The Orlando Weekly did a piece on that.
This is going to be extremely bad for the Republicans.
They can't stop this cascade. Informationally, it would take longer to fix than they have time.
Oops. They had a pedophile oversee the procurement of their dark product.
Now let's work on the rest of them.
And wait: Foley. He was (I think) the guy who comissioned the computer programmer in Florida to write purposefully hackable voting machine software. The Orlando Weekly did a piece on that.
This is going to be extremely bad for the Republicans.
They can't stop this cascade. Informationally, it would take longer to fix than they have time.
Oops. They had a pedophile oversee the procurement of their dark product.
"Vermonters proceed with secession talks."
Story
Right on time. The United States no longer exists. It's legally defunct. The remaining apparatus bears no legal resemblance to the United States. It, therefore, is not the United States. Where did it go? I don't care.
And if you think that decent people will allow outrages to be perpetrated in their names, you are insane.
Right on time. The United States no longer exists. It's legally defunct. The remaining apparatus bears no legal resemblance to the United States. It, therefore, is not the United States. Where did it go? I don't care.
And if you think that decent people will allow outrages to be perpetrated in their names, you are insane.
Tom Foley's kickin it with the kids on MySpace.
"Glad your home safe and sound. We don't go back into session until Sept. 5. I am back in Florida now. It's raining. Sounds like your having fun. ...So how old are you now? How big is your cock?"
Story
To be fair, no one is alleging Foley had any sexual contact with the boy. Foley may be interested in an aboveboard, loving relationship with the boy. ...But that's usually not the case...
Story
To be fair, no one is alleging Foley had any sexual contact with the boy. Foley may be interested in an aboveboard, loving relationship with the boy. ...But that's usually not the case...
My Horoscope
(Which is an economically efficient means of conveying information.)
It reads:
"Your love life was zip, and suddenly it's zap. A new romance unfolds, and it's as if you've never known what love was until now. Let the details slide. It's hard to be practical when you're on cloud nine."
This is actually true. I think. It seems to be... If I'm not jumping the gun.
Informationally, this would not have been an economical event unless the world would survive.
I have won.
It reads:
"Your love life was zip, and suddenly it's zap. A new romance unfolds, and it's as if you've never known what love was until now. Let the details slide. It's hard to be practical when you're on cloud nine."
This is actually true. I think. It seems to be... If I'm not jumping the gun.
Informationally, this would not have been an economical event unless the world would survive.
I have won.
I will work for Comedy Central for one hundred thousand dollars per year.
But it has to be done in Vermont. I've tried the New York thing. It didn't work for me. Not to mention that I enjoy answering the door with a Glock on my belt.
And until I get sick of this arrangement, not to be less than some reasonable amount of product. And I retain complete creative control.
This offer stands for five business days --after which it will be targeted to all other networks, and to the exclusion of Comedy Central.
I propose that we do a weekend show. Fri-Sun. There is too much important stuff happening on the weekends that is not being covered.
I will be marketing my offensiveness this way: "Jesus H. Christ...[shaking head]" "Jesus H. Christ is right! As a matter of fact..." It's a winner. (Unless such marketing should no longer be necessary at that time. Point is, we can explain away whatever perceived liability. It's a simple marketing issue.)
Any interested parties may contact me at i_like_your_boobs@chriskingpopicon.com .
And until I get sick of this arrangement, not to be less than some reasonable amount of product. And I retain complete creative control.
This offer stands for five business days --after which it will be targeted to all other networks, and to the exclusion of Comedy Central.
I propose that we do a weekend show. Fri-Sun. There is too much important stuff happening on the weekends that is not being covered.
I will be marketing my offensiveness this way: "Jesus H. Christ...[shaking head]" "Jesus H. Christ is right! As a matter of fact..." It's a winner. (Unless such marketing should no longer be necessary at that time. Point is, we can explain away whatever perceived liability. It's a simple marketing issue.)
Any interested parties may contact me at i_like_your_boobs@chriskingpopicon.com .
Wait. Sshhh. What is the New York Times up to?
If it's any good, then I retract anything bad I ever said.
And then I shall issue to you the...complementary...adjunct which is:
87eyrsgfdsywdytwq6etwuedwqhjhsbfcu
And when combined with Bum Bum Cockadoodie Paper --by an algorithm only of my knowing-- it becomes:
"The Best Specialness Joy Paper. So Fuck Off."
See? You didn't even get it. You're so stupid.
And then I shall issue to you the...complementary...adjunct which is:
87eyrsgfdsywdytwq6etwuedwqhjhsbfcu
And when combined with Bum Bum Cockadoodie Paper --by an algorithm only of my knowing-- it becomes:
"The Best Specialness Joy Paper. So Fuck Off."
See? You didn't even get it. You're so stupid.
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Yes.
You used to fight to _avoid_ death. Now, if you fight, you assure your several deaths.
And that, as I have already informed you, is okay with me.
Stand down. Or you will all die. Does that fuck up your output? Good. Turn off the computers.
I have denied you the ability to predict the state of this system, remember?
And that, as I have already informed you, is okay with me.
Stand down. Or you will all die. Does that fuck up your output? Good. Turn off the computers.
I have denied you the ability to predict the state of this system, remember?
I still have not gotten my MREs and my keychain radioactivity meter.
I ordered them both online about three weeks ago, from different companies, and magically have not received either order.
This doesn't really...impact...your standing, does it? I would sure like my stuff.
Thanks. ...in advance. Yours sincerely. Chris King Pop Icon, The Chief Executive Officer of CKPI Industries.
This doesn't really...impact...your standing, does it? I would sure like my stuff.
Thanks. ...in advance. Yours sincerely. Chris King Pop Icon, The Chief Executive Officer of CKPI Industries.
We got it covered, thanks.
By the way, if you are not a comedian then you must be respectable. Find your own act.
Your job is to be respectable. We need some of everything.
Your job is to be respectable. We need some of everything.
I can never tell if people on TV are talking to me.
I'm convinced I'm insane as it is. I don't need to be thinking that people on TV are talking to me.
Or are they? Welcome to my world.
Or are they? Welcome to my world.
The Wall Street Journal is JewPaper Junior.
They just loooooooooooove war. That's their thing. Ignore them.
They're even worse than Bum Bum Cockadoodie Paper. At least they have a fashion insert.
They're even worse than Bum Bum Cockadoodie Paper. At least they have a fashion insert.
The Wall Street Journal is JewPaper Junior.
They just loooooooooooove war. That's their thing. Ignore them.
They're even worse than Bum Bum Cockadoodie Paper. At least they have a fashion insert.
They're even worse than Bum Bum Cockadoodie Paper. At least they have a fashion insert.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
"Keith Olbermann Receives a Death Threat, and the New York Post Thinks It's Pretty Darn Funny"
Story
Some tips for surviving in a post-coup world:
1. Ignore JewPaper. JewNews, too. As a matter of fact, ignore all Jews. Their function is to service white people's needs. The Sayanim are natural-born cocksuckers, you know. It's what they're bred to do. When you're done coming, send them on their way. ...Tip them if you must. Compliment them on their pretty, big nose.
2. The Feds are not your friends. They are there to torture and kill you. Have no contact with them.
3. Answer the door with a gun on your belt and a smile on your face. Be emotionally prepared to use them both.
4. Hire a private outfit to go through your mail. Private industry can quickly equip itself to cope with these threats. As a matter of fact, in the near future private industry will act to defend your property and liberty against the thieving and torturing Feds.
...Your...protection...money can be better spent elsewhere apparently...
Some tips for surviving in a post-coup world:
1. Ignore JewPaper. JewNews, too. As a matter of fact, ignore all Jews. Their function is to service white people's needs. The Sayanim are natural-born cocksuckers, you know. It's what they're bred to do. When you're done coming, send them on their way. ...Tip them if you must. Compliment them on their pretty, big nose.
2. The Feds are not your friends. They are there to torture and kill you. Have no contact with them.
3. Answer the door with a gun on your belt and a smile on your face. Be emotionally prepared to use them both.
4. Hire a private outfit to go through your mail. Private industry can quickly equip itself to cope with these threats. As a matter of fact, in the near future private industry will act to defend your property and liberty against the thieving and torturing Feds.
...Your...protection...money can be better spent elsewhere apparently...
Coups are no laughing matter.
"Thais and foreign tourists flocked to the Army Headquarters to take picture with tanks and soldiers. Many gave soldiers flowers or food and drink."
Story
If some good ol' boys drove their tanks into Washington and restored decency and justice to this lawless land, I would give way more than flowers. I would give my favorite LED flashlight and my Zig Zag cigarette roller and my World's Funniest Ha Ha Time DVD.
Story
If some good ol' boys drove their tanks into Washington and restored decency and justice to this lawless land, I would give way more than flowers. I would give my favorite LED flashlight and my Zig Zag cigarette roller and my World's Funniest Ha Ha Time DVD.
Coups are no laughing matter.
"Thais and foreign tourists flocked to the Army Headquarters to take picture with tanks and soldiers. Many gave soldiers flowers or food and drink."
Story
If some good ol' boys drove their tanks into Washington and restored decency and justice to this lawless land, I would give way more than flowers. I would give my favorite LED flashlight and my Zig Zag cigarette roller and my World's Funniest Ha Ha Time DVD.
Story
If some good ol' boys drove their tanks into Washington and restored decency and justice to this lawless land, I would give way more than flowers. I would give my favorite LED flashlight and my Zig Zag cigarette roller and my World's Funniest Ha Ha Time DVD.
Coups are no laughing matter.
"Thais and foreign tourists flocked to the Army Headquarters to take picture with tanks and soldiers. Many gave soldiers flowers or food and drink."
Story
If some good ol' boys drove their tanks into Washington and restored decency and justice to this lawless land, I would give way more than flowers. I would give my favorite LED flashlight and my Zig Zag cigarette roller and my World's Funniest Ha Ha Time DVD.
Story
If some good ol' boys drove their tanks into Washington and restored decency and justice to this lawless land, I would give way more than flowers. I would give my favorite LED flashlight and my Zig Zag cigarette roller and my World's Funniest Ha Ha Time DVD.
Good. Maybe people will finally stop watching TV altogether. It's so good for you, you know.
"Fewer Americans are watching cable news than a year ago, and Fox News is suffering the biggest desertions, according to figures posted Tuesday (Sept. 26, 2006) today on mediabistro.com"
Story
Story
You will want to see this.
Videos
Two videos, ten minutes each.
Or read the New York Times for more of the same old bullshit. (Keep the fashion inserts coming, though. More cute guys, please. Thanks.)
Two videos, ten minutes each.
Or read the New York Times for more of the same old bullshit. (Keep the fashion inserts coming, though. More cute guys, please. Thanks.)
Shutting Down Frankenstein's Monster
It's pretty easy: You disconnect the power source.
You must expose the original lie. Oh, you know what I'm talking about... The lie from which sprang the animating force of this dark regime.
Everyone knows it anyway. Now everyone will know that everyone else knows that 9-11 was an inside job.
And the system will be smashed. It's delightfully easy. ...And a glorious installation of chaos. Keep those kaleidoscope pieces from settling into place...
And you know the consequences of your failure to expose the lie: Destruction of your planet.
So, to recap: You expose the lie or the world is dead. Yes, the emotional, economic, and political consequences of your actions will be significant, but your planet will survive.
Regard your child. Now kill it. ...You will have the redemption you seek.
You must expose the original lie. Oh, you know what I'm talking about... The lie from which sprang the animating force of this dark regime.
Everyone knows it anyway. Now everyone will know that everyone else knows that 9-11 was an inside job.
And the system will be smashed. It's delightfully easy. ...And a glorious installation of chaos. Keep those kaleidoscope pieces from settling into place...
And you know the consequences of your failure to expose the lie: Destruction of your planet.
So, to recap: You expose the lie or the world is dead. Yes, the emotional, economic, and political consequences of your actions will be significant, but your planet will survive.
Regard your child. Now kill it. ...You will have the redemption you seek.
Condoleeza Rice is a hood rat.
I hadn't spent the time to come up with a joke about her because she's not really relevant. But she needs to be destroyed, evidently.
This filthy broad harbors all manner of disease.
This filthy broad harbors all manner of disease.
Embrace my chaos.
My positive intent will be enough. Things will order themselves according to my will. I've been doing this for some time now, to great effect...
This has no meaning whatsoever.
"Should jihadists leaving Iraq perceive themselves, and be perceived, to have failed, we judge fewer fighters will be inspired to carry on the fight."
The system has been reduced to talking cockamamie talk.
The system has been reduced to talking cockamamie talk.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Economics and Physics are the same discipline.
They just have different conceptual models and thus, a different language.
Have I told you I lead a strange life?
The entirety of my life, consisting of every possible moment that I could have experienced, has been profoundly weird. This is nothing new for me.
I will flip this fuckin thing right over on you.
Er, I mean, I already have...in a protemporal frame...
Stand down now and you will live.
Stand down now and you will live.
This is, um, kind of important.
"Calls for 'Contingency Paper Ballots' in States, Counties this November to be Paid for by Feds."
Story
Yeah, since your magically fantastic electronic voting machines are easily (and purposefully!) hacked by some guy walking into the voting booth, you'll be wanting to use paper.
While I'm on the topic, I suggest we look _extremely_ closely at any results that are not predicted by exit polls. Those statisticians kind of know what they're talking about. [clears throat] And stuff.
Story
Yeah, since your magically fantastic electronic voting machines are easily (and purposefully!) hacked by some guy walking into the voting booth, you'll be wanting to use paper.
While I'm on the topic, I suggest we look _extremely_ closely at any results that are not predicted by exit polls. Those statisticians kind of know what they're talking about. [clears throat] And stuff.
Little Miss Lewinsky
Mr. Clinton was not distracted from the "hunt" for "Osama bin Laden" by Miss Lewinsky. She figures into this more highly.
She was one of the Sayanim.
Someone was using her to get to Bill Clinton. Maybe me think someone no want him find Osama bin Laden...
Don't forget:
1. The Bush family vacations and does business with the bin Laden family. There is, at most, one degree of separation between George Bush and his arch-nemesis, Osama bin Laden. That's unlikely...
2. The bin Ladens had the luxury of being flown out of the country during the no-fly time after 9-11. That's funny. And not in a HaHaTime way.
She was one of the Sayanim.
Someone was using her to get to Bill Clinton. Maybe me think someone no want him find Osama bin Laden...
Don't forget:
1. The Bush family vacations and does business with the bin Laden family. There is, at most, one degree of separation between George Bush and his arch-nemesis, Osama bin Laden. That's unlikely...
2. The bin Ladens had the luxury of being flown out of the country during the no-fly time after 9-11. That's funny. And not in a HaHaTime way.
Enigmatic Post No. 22
"Making connections with strangers will get you some nice surprise perks today."
You mean the now-discredited FBI?
"Five years after the anthrax attacks that killed five people, the FBI is now convinced that the lethal powder sent to the Senate was far less sophisticated than originally believed, widening the pool of possible suspects in a frustratingly slow investigation."
Story
Either it came from Fort Detrick or it didn't. Which is it? It's a little late to be changing your story.
I'm more interested in the enlarged federal jurisdiction that magically appeared as a result of the anthrax "attacks." Whyever might they have needed lockdown authority? ...Especially at American Media... Whatever might have been there that needed...disposing...?...
Not to mention that this comes from the Washington Post, CIA News Central.
Story
Either it came from Fort Detrick or it didn't. Which is it? It's a little late to be changing your story.
I'm more interested in the enlarged federal jurisdiction that magically appeared as a result of the anthrax "attacks." Whyever might they have needed lockdown authority? ...Especially at American Media... Whatever might have been there that needed...disposing...?...
Not to mention that this comes from the Washington Post, CIA News Central.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 24, 2006
They are attempting to conjure things by naming them.
But since they don't have the will of The Field, they will fail.
They know this.
They know this.
Public Service Annoucement (PSA)
AboveTheInfluence.com has an anti-marihuana message to share with you.
Video
Some guys sitting on a couch, some guy saying, "See? You could be going nowhere like these guys. So don't smoke more weed. Brought to you by your local distiller."
Well, you could get all fucked up and get in a barfight and shoot your mouthy girlfriend and enlarge your liver.
Or smoke more weed and write a hit play and do an off-off-broadway show (albeit one that sucked, but that's not the point...) ...And see through their lies, and piss people off and have the time of your life doing it.
I heartily endorse weed.
Put your weed in here. I'll tell you a story.
----------
I guess it was called off-off-broadway. I forget. One hundred seats. (Only two were filled at a time, but whatever. I win.)
Video
Some guys sitting on a couch, some guy saying, "See? You could be going nowhere like these guys. So don't smoke more weed. Brought to you by your local distiller."
Well, you could get all fucked up and get in a barfight and shoot your mouthy girlfriend and enlarge your liver.
Or smoke more weed and write a hit play and do an off-off-broadway show (albeit one that sucked, but that's not the point...) ...And see through their lies, and piss people off and have the time of your life doing it.
I heartily endorse weed.
Put your weed in here. I'll tell you a story.
----------
I guess it was called off-off-broadway. I forget. One hundred seats. (Only two were filled at a time, but whatever. I win.)
Stand.
There comes a point in every aspirant's life where he must draw a line of decency. ...beyond which shall not pass vileness.
To fail to defend the line...is to fail to defend one's very conception of decency.
...And your own right to prevail...
To fail to defend the line...is to fail to defend one's very conception of decency.
...And your own right to prevail...
So... Are we talking about Osama bin Laden again?
You never hear from him because he doesn't have any lines to speak. Talk to your neighborhood theater type on why this is efficient.
You are living inside a gigantic show.
... ...
If you look closely you will see the...structural...deficiencies...
You are living inside a gigantic show.
... ...
If you look closely you will see the...structural...deficiencies...
This man is scared shitless.
Story
"'I'm not going to comment on individual techniques,' said Frist. 'It helps the terrorists. And the reason why -- it helps the terrorists who are going to come and try to assassinate us and the people listening to us right now.'"
He truly believes that he will be executed for War Crimes. He's not sayin anything that could be used against him...
"'I'm not going to comment on individual techniques,' said Frist. 'It helps the terrorists. And the reason why -- it helps the terrorists who are going to come and try to assassinate us and the people listening to us right now.'"
He truly believes that he will be executed for War Crimes. He's not sayin anything that could be used against him...
So the Jews have decided they need a marketing overhaul.
They've changed their shtick. Now they're the shadowy underworld masterminds.
It's gonna be tough to turn that ship around, because you've been playing the whiney little bitches thing for so long. You've got to have...street cred...to pull that off.
It's gonna be tough to turn that ship around, because you've been playing the whiney little bitches thing for so long. You've got to have...street cred...to pull that off.
So the Washington Post is endorsing Joseph Heberman.
That's a surprise.
Story
Washington Post = Jew = AssBananas = EarIntestines = Lies = Police State = Destruction of Your Planet
Nice culture they got there. They were able to whitewash that with a few tears, weren't they?
On the prospect of Heberman's failure to prevail: "The alternative is gridlock."
Does that mean fewer people looking for brains to eat with dog's heads sewn on their bodies? Does that mean less babies with spare eyeballs peering at you from their belly-mounted eyestalks?
Gridlock sounds pretty good to me.
Story
Washington Post = Jew = AssBananas = EarIntestines = Lies = Police State = Destruction of Your Planet
Nice culture they got there. They were able to whitewash that with a few tears, weren't they?
On the prospect of Heberman's failure to prevail: "The alternative is gridlock."
Does that mean fewer people looking for brains to eat with dog's heads sewn on their bodies? Does that mean less babies with spare eyeballs peering at you from their belly-mounted eyestalks?
Gridlock sounds pretty good to me.
Take up stand-up. You, too, can have the last laugh.
"Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez said Saturday that U.S. President George W. Bush may be seeking to kill him for calling him "the devil" at the United Nations."
Not to mention that he's been called worse. Har-dee-har-har.
Story
Not to mention that he's been called worse. Har-dee-har-har.
Story
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