What did I do with my modest inheritance?

I bought some stuff, I gave some away, I saved some...

But I am pleased to note that neither the State of Vermont nor the IRS got any of it.

Please suck it.

That's what you get when no one is following the rules... You just make up your own...

And our Darling Miss Perino may wish to reconsider--

--her association with that administration. It's not a sound career move. She's functioning as a Minister of Propaganda for war criminals.

Obviously, then,

there will be lots of Executive Branch officers and employees executed for war crimes.

Good.

The sport of the day is betting on who it will be.

Here's my short list:

George Bush
Dick Cheney
Donald Rumsfeld
Alberto Gonzales
David Addington
General Hayden
Joseph Heeberman (He's different. But we include him just for endlessly ginning up fake wars.)

There really should be a cost associated with the murders of hundreds of thousands of people. Don't you think?

The skirmishes that you witness--

--are part of a larger war that is taking place inside the time domain. It appears to you to span thousands of years. It appears to you at once as both real and unreal. You perceive it as a shadow on the wall, a mere approximation of the true battle being waged in a higher dimension.

Your nature prevents you from seeing its entire scope.

I have engaged The Parasite.

The CIA has apparently woken up from their haze of cock/cunt reality.

"Cock/cunt reality" is the strange groupthink state of mind that the frat boys get into when they decide to serially rape some passed out sorority girl. There's lots of grunting and shoving of cocks into cunts and high-fives and desirous glances at the shapes and heft of your frat brothers' cocks. It all seems so cool while they're doing it.

Then the next morning it doesn't seem so cool anymore.

It is at that point that the oh-so-brave frat boys destroy the tapes of their conquest. ...Lest the townspeople find out about it and hang them for defiling their name...

So the CIA is destroying evidence.

General Hayden submits for our consideration that it was done to protect the identities of the interrogators.

This is incorrect. It is well within the technology of the day to obscure the faces and voices of the interrogators. Surely they sell the software at Circuit City.

The CIA knows this. And they know that everyone else knows this. Therefore, they knew that they would receive heat for insulting their audience's intelligence by claiming this excuse. ...And that is damning enough...

So, logically, the heat they expected to receive from a public viewing of the tapes far exceeded the heat they knew they would take for destroying them.

Those tapes contained a record of CIA behavior so morally reprehensible that their airing would destroy the CIA and open its employees up to charges of war crimes.

Now: If the ostensible purpose of "enhanced interrogation" is to extract information useful in the prosecution of the War on Globa Terra...

And if they destroyed all record of the extraction of that information...

Then their concern for their own safety eclipses their concern for the War on Globa Terra.

Not the height of courage, I'd say. ...Or maybe the War on Globa Terra isn't the pressing matter that it's represented to be...

The Bush Administration destroyed itself. The Justice Department destroyed itself. And now the CIA has destroyed itself. They all destroyed themselves by exposing a complete lack of moral authority.

When you lose moral authority --that is, when you lose the right to command without eliciting an involuntary bark of laughter-- you lose political authority. And through that loss, you lose legal authority.

And the United States exists because why? I'm not sure there's anything left that hasn't been laughed out of the room.

"You can't fight something that isn't real, you see."

"I'm not real. ...And that is why I will win. ...You see."

Some people don't like conspiracy theories.

Namely, those involved in conspiracies.

Ron Paul wants you to be scared. There's a conspiracy in the land—what he calls a "conspiracy of ideas"—to give up America's sovereignty. It's a shadowy scheme that begins with the NAFTA "superhighway," a road as wide as several football fields that will link Mexico, the United States and Canada. "They don't talk about it and they might not admit it," Paul said at the CNN-YouTube presidential debate last week. He didn't say exactly who "they" are, but perhaps one can guess. "They're planning on [taking] millions of acres … by eminent domain," warned the prickly libertarian. But elected government officials aren't acting alone. There's "an unholy alliance of foreign consortiums and officials from several governments" pushing the idea, Paul wrote in October 2006. "The ultimate goal is not simply a superhighway, but an integrated North American Union—complete with a currency, a cross-national bureaucracy, and virtually borderless travel within the Union."

Only it's not true. The main purveyor of this broad conspiracy theory is Jerome Corsi, coauthor of "Unfit for Command," the book that helped Swift Boat John Kerry's presidential ambitions. His latest offering is "The Late Great U.S.A.: The Coming Merger With Mexico and Canada," which became a best seller on The New York Times's business list this summer. Corsi plays on growing nationalist fears. He sees a scenario in which a North American Union is born and shares a currency, the "amero." Even some right-wing standard-bearers regard the fears as over-blown. Jed Babbin, editor of the conservative newspaper Human Events, says: "I guess there are people who believe in [the plan for a North American Union]. But there are people who believe in Bigfoot." "The evidence is out there," says Corsi.

Link

Now contrast that with:

The Ministry of Infrastructure and Transportation in Alberta, Canada, has posted on its website a trade corridor map that shows a NAFTA Superhighway clearly designated in the same route, including Interstate Highways 35, 29 and 94, that the North America's SuperCorridor Coalition, or NASCO, designates as the I-35 NAFTA Superhighway.

Link

It would seem obvious, but apparently it needs stating. Ahem:

When anything can be found out in 0.32 seconds on the internet, one runs the risk of being exposed as a fraud when you print things that are so easily disproved. This isn't 1960 anymore.

I know we're talking Newsweek here, but still.

Let's tighten it up a little over there, boys. I'll be embarrassed for you if I ever see a photo of Bat Boy on the cover of your magazine.

Newsweek works for people who are scared numb over Ron Paul. ...I guess he's over the target, what with all the fire he's taking...

.

Executive branch officers and employees :

You will need to politically neutralize the President, the Vice President, the Attorney General, and Homeland Security Secretary.

They have lost. They will attempt to flip over the chessboard by some police crackdown. They will nakedly just round people up and declare exigent circumstances.

Neutralize these individuals by assembling evidence of Israeli involvement in 9-11. Then you will obstruct any orders issued by those individuals. (Lose paperwork, misroute orders, decline to execute orders, etc.) You will not face reprisals because you will raise the stakes: You will threaten to go public with your evidence.

The mop-up is underway. It is an extremely simple and straightforward operation if everyone is on the same page.

State Governments: Be prepared to ignore all instructions from Washington. Be prepared to arrest federal agents in your territories.

Federal Law Enforcement: Identify all Jews with Israeli citizenship who work in the federal government. Be prepared to arrest them.

United States Military: Be prepared to decapitate the Israeli government. Eliminate any Israeli influence in your operations. Identify all Jews in the Pentagon who hold dual citizenship with Israel. Be prepared to arrest them.

This is an extra-legal situation and it requires devising your own rules. Let your conscience and your oath of office guide you. Your actions will stand in their own defense.

You will also find...

...that Israeli intelligence has assembled dossiers on all federal-level politicians. This is for blackmail purposes. AIPAC issues the orders, Israeli intelligence enforces them.

If we wish our elected representatives to restore lawful government, then we will need to be forgiving about any transgressions that may be made public about our representatives.

You will find that Israeli firms were in charge of security at the 9-11 airports.

It would have been necessary, you see.

You will also find Israeli firms involved in the encryption of military and government communications and in the "safeguarding" of American nuclear weapons.

This, as you can see, will need to be rectified if you wish to pry Israel's hands off your nation's throat.

Intelligence Services and Military: Wherever you see an Israeli presence is where you will find an exploitable weak point. Fix it.

I've decided that I'm going to grow a beard.

I've never had one. And I'm not sure that I have the whisker-density to support such an undertaking. But who cares.

A full beard with mustache, one amorphous mass of hair growing down my neck to meet my chest hair, a big, overgrown frightful thing. It will communicate to all, "Don't fuck with me because I obviously don't give a shit."

And I will hang a hand-lettered card around my neck that reads:

MUSTACHE RIDES: 5 ¢

If I were up against Bonkers Bolton on the High School Debate Team,

I would win the Minimalism in Debate prize.

Bolton could go on and on, taking nary a breath in warning the audience of a gun-shy intelligence community, certain factions' desires to torpedo the Bush Administration, intelligence services' affinity for policy formulation rather than analysis, Iranian disinformation, and all manner of skulduggery that resulted in a National Intelligence Estimate that we heed at our mortal peril.

Then he'd sit down to tepid applause and I would rise from my seat and approach the lectern.

Standing there, I'd take a glance around, clear my throat, and lean into the microphone:

"Israel flew planes into the World Trade Center. ... ...I appreciate your giving me this opportunity to frame the debate properly. Thank you."

I think you will find...

...that the compartmentalized elements of the CIA that participated in 9-11 were run by sayanim.

Therefore, if we do a reverse-lookup, we will find that CIA personnel with Israeli citizenship may congregate in certain departments. Those departments are the ones that participated in 9-11.

Who within the CIA has dual citizenship? Find them. If they run a compartment, then that compartment was involved in 9-11.

The same goes for the FBI.

We're on the home stretch, everyone. The mystery is almost solved. At this point, I would turn the case over to a junior officer and go out for drinks. ...Because all that remains is the mop-up...

The man's name is Christ.

New York, NY, November 28, 2007 … Every December schools and local governments are confronted with the question of how to approach the holidays without favoring one religious faith over another or making some feel uncomfortable because their religious background is different from others.

To help negotiate the "December Dilemma," the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) provides public schools and government institutions nationwide with materials and information on how to keep public recognition of the December holidays respectful, welcoming and constitutionally permissible.

"Schools and governments can acknowledge the December holidays – Chanukah, Christmas and Kwanzaa – so long as it is done with sensitivity, caring and respect for all members of the community," said Abraham H. Foxman, ADL National Director. "Schools and governments have the responsibility to ensure that they maintain respectful, open and welcoming environments for all of their community members. Whatever they do, they cannot favor one religion over another."

Link

By the way, Abe... How's your homeland doin'?

These goobers from Wichita would never be hired by PPU USov.

Donnell Williams had just gotten out of the bath tub, wearing only a towel around his waist, when he turned the corner to see guns pointing right at him.

"I ain't never been so scared," says Williams.

Police forced entry into Williams home while responding to a shooting, but it turned out to be a false call. They had no idea at the time the call wasn't real and that Williams is hearing impaired. Without his hearing aid he is basically deaf.

"I kept going to my ear yelling that I was scared. I can't hear! I can't hear!"

Officers were worried about their own safety because at the time it appeared Williams was refusing to obey their commands to show his hands. That's when they shot him with a Taser.

Link

Deaf man doesn't do what you say? Tase him!

And there are many more tasing incidents that I'm just too disgusted to cover. Like the handcuffed woman in the police station who got tased simply for not complying with some instruction. See? It's not to enable the cops to safely subdue someone. It's to force compliance at the threat of pain.

Remember: If you allow someone to place a pair of handcuffs on you, you will be tortured.

But PPU USov is designed to be the gold standard of PPUs. We'd hire the best while these Wichita cops would be working Wal-Mart where they belong. (It takes a special breed to fear for one's safety in the presence of a naked man.)

This isn't quite the smoking gun yet, but someone pass this on to Abe Foxman.

Former Italian President and the man who revealed the existence of Operation Gladio Francesco Cossiga has gone public on 9/11, telling Italy's most respected newspaper that the attacks were run by the CIA and Mossad and that this was common knowledge amongst global intelligence agencies.

Cossiga was elected President of the Italian Senate in July 1983 before winning a landslide 1985 election to become President of the country in 1985.

Cossiga gained respect from opposition parties as one of a rare breed - an honest politician - and led the country for seven years until April 1992.

Cossiga's tendency to be outspoken upset the Italian political establishment and he was forced to resign after revealing the existence of, and his part in setting up, Operation Gladio - a rogue intelligence network under NATO auspices that carried out bombings across Europe in the 60's, 70's and 80's.

Gladio's specialty was to carry out what they coined "false flag operations," terror attacks that were blamed on their domestic and geopolitical opposition.

Cossiga's revelations contributed to an Italian parliamentary investigation of Gladio in 2000, during which evidence was unearthed that the attacks were being overseen by the U.S. intelligence apparatus.

In March 2001, Gladio agent Vincenzo Vinciguerra stated, in sworn testimony, "You had to attack civilians, the people, women, children, innocent people, unknown people far removed from any political game. The reason was quite simple: to force ... the public to turn to the state to ask for greater security."

Link

There are a few requirements that intelligence service agents must meet in order to be able to accurately assess political situations:

1. Don't shit yourself (at least not regularly.)
2. Don't watch TV or read the newspaper (or if you do, do it knowing that it's all lies.)
3. Don't solicit the opinion of the moron at the VFW.
4. Try, whenever possible, to employ facts, logic, and reason in your analysis.

So, yes, intelligence services would be in a position to know these things.

Here's my new revenue model.

To recap:

There is a cost associated with mounting any creative undertaking: The frame of mind into which one must place oneself in order to create something new is not the frame of mind that is conducive to holding down a real job or pursuing a career. Pick one, but the creative type cannot have both. (Or, at least, I cannot. It doesn't work that way for me. You want the crazy? Then I have to be in a state of mind that permits the crazy; crazy at a technology company doesn't cut it.)

I pay real money, in lost wages from a real job, to carry on this show.

What are my professional goals? To get a TV show? To have a fashion line? No; my professional goal is to finally get booed off the stage so that I can stop this life-draining show. What started out as a lark has completely consumed me. Trust me: I would like nothing more than to get on with my life. I want to make real money and date, neither of which I can do while carrying on this show.

This is what you will do:

You will open up your wallet and take out a twenty-dollar bill. (Or a ten. Or a five. I don't care; just make some kind of effort. I just want some sign that I'm not playing to "friends" who come over to my house just to eat the snacks and wipe their cheese-flavoring fingers on the arms of the couch and then go home. Because if that's all it means to anyone then we'll all just agree to call it a good run and just stop.)

So open the wallet. Take out a twenty. Put it in an envelope. Mail it to:

Chris King
PO Box 138
Westminster Station, VT 05159

If you do not do this, then you are not welcome in my show. Stop reading my material. You're not doing me any favors by reading me. Again, remember my professional goal.

If you fail to donate yet continue to read my material, then know that you are a freeloader. You are instructed to leave.

I cannot afford to pay for a 5000-seat venue when I have only fifty paying customers. I'd rather spring for a fifty-seat venue and have a more intimate show.

It's simple economics.

I'm a computer guy. Comedy in no way figures into my career plans. This show is not an investment in my future.

This show is a revenue sink. And it had better stop costing me money or I will terminate it.

In my hit TV show on My Ho Network...

...my girlfriend's name will not be Jelly. (Out of consideration for anyone.)

Instead, my girlfriend's name will be Raputa. (Pron. ruh-pyoo'-tuh)

"Hey, Raputa! Get you and your fertile belly over here! Let's go for a ride around town in my K.I.T.T car and fight crime!"

I have decided upon mah legal authority.

[Shaquanra Bunnell of the Hill Peoples voice. So curl your lip over your teefs and go ta town!]

Kin ya guess what it is?

I'll give y'a hint: It's a blass from the pass... The one size fits all mechanism...

And after I restore lawful government,

I had better damn well get a TV show AND a clothing line. I'm done screwing around with you people.

I am carefully considering my arrest of various members of the Bush Administration.

Among other issues, I am figuring out the precise legal authority by which I do it. And I have to designate successors to fill their offices. The Speaker of the House is not even in the running. (She's one of the sayanim. She'll be lucky to avoid arrest. So she certainly will not be installed as President. "How's your homeland doin'?")

Carry a gun. Problem solved.

For now, the only refuge for gay people is in a nondescript building on the outskirts of downtown. Project Wow, as it is called, is a no-frills drop-in center run by the North Jersey Community Research Initiative, an organization that devotes most of its resources to research on AIDS drugs and free medical care. Project Wow draws a few dozen young people each night who come for counseling and H.I.V. prevention advice but mostly for the camaraderie and shelter from the city’s unsympathetic streets.

Alex Williams, Project Wow’s director, asked that the center’s location not be printed, noting that 15 of the center’s employees and clients had been attacked on their way to or from the building in the last six months.

Sitting in the lounge at the center, Tariq Pickens, 23, recalled how he and a friend dressed in drag were ambushed on the street by a group of men and women three years ago. During a few hellish moments, he said, they were slashed, punched, robbed and doused with lighter fluid, although the fuel failed to ignite. “I’ve had so many friends killed, beaten, raped, I can’t even count,” he said.

Link

I've got a nice berm out back that I use as a backstop for target practice. When you can shoot the top of a beer bottle off with a .40 at fifty feet, I guess you're doing okay.

In Vermont --where police coverage can be thin-- a landowner will mark his territory by being quite visible about his target practice. However Johnny Dirty-Foot may feel about the queers, he will quickly check his bravery upon hearing frequent shotgun blasts and rifle shots coming from your property.

It's like an invisible fence. Displaying one's professional training in the moral and technical use of firearms keeps everyone on their best behavior.

This again?

By Perry Bacon Jr.

Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, November 29, 2007; Page A01

In his speeches and often on the Internet, the part of Sen. Barack Obama's biography that gets the most attention is not his race but his connections to the Muslim world.

Since declaring his candidacy for president in February, Obama, a member of a congregation of the United Church of Christ in Chicago, has had to address assertions that he is a Muslim or that he had received training in Islam in Indonesia, where he lived from ages 6 to 10. While his father was an atheist and his mother did not practice religion, Obama's stepfather did occasionally attend services at a mosque there.

Despite his denials, rumors and e-mails circulating on the Internet continue to allege that Obama (D-Ill.) is a Muslim, a "Muslim plant" in a conspiracy against America, and that, if elected president, he would take the oath of office using a Koran, rather than a Bible, as did Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), the only Muslim in Congress, when he was sworn in earlier this year.

Link

This is another thing that would appear not to matter, considering that Israel flew planes into the World Trade Center.

(Again, to be fair: It was Israel's intelligence services, its American sayanim, and compartmentalized elements of American intelligence and the military that did it. But Israel's involvement is certain. Thus, the "Israel did it" line of argument is valid enough for Johnny Dirty-Foot.)

So since Israel Did It, can we stop talking about Muslims now? Good. Thought so.

And should you ever wish to play that one to the fullest, you can pull that card out during any dispute with a Jew. For example:

"The Broncos [or whoever] are so going all the way this year!"

"Doubt it. And by the way, how's your homeland doin'?"

Or:

"I need the day off so that I can go to Temple. We're having a celebration of how everyone hates us."

"Nope. You'll be working. ...And by the way, how's your homeland doin'?"

I've got my own signing statements, too, you know.

By Charlie Savage Globe Staff / December 1, 2007

WASHINGTON - President Bush this month issued his first signing statement since the Democratic takeover of Congress, reserving the right to bypass 11 provisions in a military appropriations bill under his executive powers.

In the statement, which the White House filed in the Federal Register on Nov. 13 but which initially attracted little attention, Bush challenged several requirements to provide information to Congress.

For example, one law Bush targeted requires him to give oversight committees notice before transferring US military equipment to United Nations peacekeepers.

Bush also challenged a new law that limits his ability to transfer funds lawmakers approved for one purpose to start a different program, as well as a law requiring him to keep in place an existing command structure for the Navy's Pacific fleet.

"The Act contains certain provisions identical to those found in prior bills passed by the Congress that might be construed to be inconsistent with my Constitutional responsibilities," Bush's statement says.

Link

(And I know this comes from the Globe. Ha ha. You got me. But you people can still eat it.)

The Unitary Executive Theory goes something like this: "In addition to the powers painstakingly enumerated to me in the Constitution, I ACTUALLY get to do anything that might be required of me to "protect the country" during wartime or whatever. (It's a good thing we've got a war going on!) So I get to legislate in addition to executing. The Framers went to all that trouble and spilled all that ink in Article One for nothing. Maybe they just didn't understand the Unitary Executive Theory."

Well, I've got my own signing statements. I get to judge all legislation against my inherent responsibility to see that my political power not be expressed in a manner that runs counter to some universal sense of propriety.

...And very little passes muster...

Two can play this game, you know. It's called the "Let's All Decide What Laws We'll Obey" game.

This is why you have gas station attendants starting their own law practices.

The Bush administration is laying out a new secrecy defense in an effort to end a court battle about the White House visits of now-imprisoned lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

The administration agreed last year to produce all responsive records about the visits "without redactions or claims of exemption," according to a court order.

But in a court filing Friday night, administration lawyers said that the Secret Service has identified a category of highly sensitive documents that might contain information sought in a lawsuit about Abramoff's trips to the White House.

The Justice Department, citing a Cold War-era court ruling, declared that the contents of the "Sensitive Security Records" cannot be publicly revealed even though they could show whether Abramoff made more visits to the White House than those already acknowledged.

"The simple act of doing so ... would reveal sensitive information about the methods used by the Secret Service to carry out its protective function," the Justice Department argued.

Link

...Because the professionals use their talents not to explicate what is right or moral, but to navigate among statutes in order to permit the greatest number of crimes allowable under "law."

That's some system of justice you've got there.