[Chris raises hand] "Uh, Mr. Chertoff, these liquid bombers _did_ have nefarious plans to blow up transatlantic flights...at least while playing X-Box. What they did _not_ have was plane tickets, bombs, and, in many cases, passports. It would seem that the element of opportunity was lacking. ...And the whole hand lotion thing [rolls eyes in a Donnie Darko fashion] is just...asinine! And this "magical plot to mix common household items" is in perfect keeping with the fact that your bosses couldn't cobble together a plot that involved real explosives. The military has shut them off. What do you say to all that? Huh?"
"Well, Chris, what they were doing...was employing a new...protemporal...weapon!... you see... They are so advanced from that silly, old 20th century stuff that they had the ability to move through time! And present a threat in a protemporal frame while no threat exists in this one! That's...heavy-duty stuff. ...So that's why we need to throw people like you into our CommieCamps. ... Because if we don't, lots of 9-11 perpetrators in government will probably get killed. We can't have that. Next."
