I will ask you:
Which is the more historically...significant?
More generic and distinctly unfunny lies...
...or a true, no-shit comedian who is kicking down doors and slugging everyone who fancies himself relevant?
Who will catch the interest...of the...Future People?...
I am insinuating myself into the role of significant comedian not for my own gratification, but so that I might more effectively save your planet from destruction. Is that okay with you?
For example:
A hundred years from now, no one would know of Alberto Gonzalez. He went to some school and got a degree or two and then taught some and then talked crap talk on tv sometimes. That's not noteworthy.
What is noteworthy is this:
"Wow! That Chris King Pop Icon did lots of Chief Legal Sophist Alberto Gonzalez material. Sure was funny, too. I learned from Chris that Allie played 3-Card Monty and concocted ever more fantastical legal theories in an effort to subvert the rule of law! That's sure funny, for a law professor or whatever. And, oh, hey, now I know what Chris was talking about when he called Allie to task for peppering his speeches with references to lawfulness! 'Cause, you see, shortly after Chris first mentioned it in his show, within days Allie was trying to lay his defense by using this hitherto unexploited and unsavaged word! Wow, that's sure prescient of Chris! ...And I even understand from Chris that Allie sucked on big, well formed turds! Just for fun! And to gross people out he would act like one of those play-doh spaghetti makers and force the shit out through the gaps in his teeth. And then he'd laugh a shit-laden laugh after he had grossed everybody out! And I saw those videos of press conferences where Chris says Allie looks stupid. And guess what? He _does_ look stupid. So, logically, Alberto Gonzalez _must_ have been stupid. And a filthy shit-eater, too."
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Your new name --until I grow bored of it-- is:
Filthy Shit Eater Alberto Gonzalez
You are destroyed. ...And the Future People seem to agree...
