Okay, cheese eaters!

We're moving! My debit card works now. I have paid my balance at typepad. My preferred venue is ckpi.typepad.com. Henceforth, any posts will show up there.

If I remain silent for a time, check back here at ckpi.blogspot.com. Or maybe I've finally got bored of playing to freeloaders and just decided to get on with my life.

...Though I do appreciate that you've all stuck with me this long. But don't tell anyone; it ruins my dyspeptic shtick...

Here's one for my friends at Fox.

(By the way: For as many people as who hate me, they sure read my stuff a lot. ...And I think that my life's body of work will reflect that my most offensive material came after I consciously started trying to get booed off the stage.)

Chris waltzes into the Fox newsroom and noses around, opening desk drawers and rifling through people's belongings. He passes over the Met-Rx bars and the Axe Body Spray and steals a few pens. He jumps up on a desk.

"Excuse me! Everyone, could I have your attention?!"

"I have the uncanny ability to divine the future! And I feel myself entering into a trance state as I speak! ...Let's hope I can maintain the presence of mind to steal that geri-stapler I saw in that handicapped woman's cubicle..."

"I see your troglodyte nation...disappearing! Yes! Yes! A miracle happened there after all! They got erased! ...No more flying planes into buildings, I'd say!"

"I see...I see a cocktail party! With decent white people! ...They're drinking brandy and laughing and showing off the Jews they purchased as pets! ...It's fashionable, apparently, in the future to keep Jews as pets and dress them up in firemen's uniforms and sailor clothes or whatever and take those cute pictures of them. (...People can just buy the software and print out their own calendars.)"

"I see them wailing in their stalls about how everyone's contra-them! And they don't know why!"

"And they lament not having listened to Christ when he tried to teach his moronic people how they could harness time-domain energy and escape this 3-Space prison! You're so stupid that you didn't even GET him! ...No one ever accused a Jew of being bright, I guess..."

"Instead of embracing God's Luminescent Energy, they fill their empty souls with money! And it never fills up!"

"And what galls you the most isn't that I'm performing this material...but that I'm getting away with it!"

"How! Is! Your! Homeland doing?!"

"Grunt! Grunt, my Little Dream Children! Embrace the High Priests' chain around your necks! Poison the earth! Spread lies and filth! Gin up more wars! Fly more planes into buildings! Give us an encore performance! ...Suborn your Beauty to your masters' Ugliness! ...The meek shall inherit the earth! And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace! War is not the way to God or to His abundance! Choose your House! Ha Ha Ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahaha.............."

I must have zero audience members--

--because zero people have bought tickets to my show. All that was in my mailbox was a JC Penney circular and another red-colored letter from the power company.

It's funny that I actually have zero audience members because I seem to detect shades of Chris King Pop Icon everywhere. So maybe I'm just crazy after all.

I'll give it till the first of the year.

(You realize that what I'm really doing is asking for my audience's permission to end this useless waste of my time.)

Well I'm off to the post office.

...To collect the contributions so that I can buy more cheese-flavored snacks for my audience.

If you have not done so, remove a twenty-dollar bill from your wallet.

Mail it to:

Chris King
PO Box 138
Westminster Station, VT 05159

That is the price of admission to my show. Twenty dollars per year. Pretty cheap entertainment, wouldn't you say?

This is why you're beautiful to me.

When you "play from your heart," you inspire faith.

It's the material that your handlers write for you that I can't stand.

Video

I'll have you all know that I'm working on my Second Annual Chris King Pop Icon Says Nice Things About People segment. It'll be on my TV show on the Bust-a-Gut Network. Check your local listings.

I will purchase some scratch-off lottery tickets from the gas station. I'll scratch them off on-camera while saying nice things. It's like we all get to open our presents together. The denomination of the ticket will be in direct proportion to the quantity and/or vehemence of the things I have said about them over the past year.

Here is the working list of the people I will buy lottery tickets for, and the denomination of the ticket:

Dennis Miller: $1 (He can handle himself. He's probably changed his ways anyway.)
Joseph Lieberman: $1 (For that Heeberman crack.)
Stephen Colbert: $1 (I once intemperately told him he could eat it.)
Jon Stewart: $2 (He's had to stand by while I do all my Jew material.)
Michael Chertoff: $5 (He is in possession of his own soul.)
Michael Mukasey: $10 (He's taken more of a drubbing sooner than anyone really should have to.)
Alberto Gonzales: $10 (I think you got caught up in some things that your nature did not prepare you to deal with.)
George Bush: $20 (This is the physically largest ticket and has all the shiny scratch-off stuff and the multiple games per card. You can win up to a million dollars on these, I think.)

I will inscribe a personal note on each card in private and mail it to the person in question. I will also include any winnings. That will be my gift to you.

So keep an eye open.

I'm trying to deal with this in a sensitive way.

And I've grown tired of being angry at you. It's bad for the soul. So I can discuss this in a nuts-and-bolts way now.

Do you people fully understand what Zionism has done to you?

Israel has set Jews back 1500 years. It's out of the country club again with you people.

Do you fully comprehend what you've done to yourselves?

Unless you take steps RIGHT NOW to redeem yourselves, no decent person will so much as be seen in public with a Jew. ...But no one ever takes my advice.

Do you get this?

And I'm sorry to have to discuss these matters during Hanukkah. But I didn't know that your homeland was going to declare war on the United States. Things are happening fast. These things need to be dealt with on their own timetable.

I will now turn the menu over for you.

Your enemy is not "Islamofascism"...

...it's Judeofascism.

It's often useful to know who's declared war on you.

Beware this meme.

Republican presidential candidate John McCain warned Monday that Al-Qaeda could trigger a major US economic crisis with just one successful attack on a Middle Eastern oil installation.

The Arizona senator argued that terror groups understood America's reliance on foreign oil -- and did not believe it had the will to find alternative energy sources.

"Al-Qaeda plans for attacks on oil facilities in the Middle East to destroy the American economy," McCain said, in prepared remarks released by his campaign ahead of a speech in South Carolina.

Link

I'm starting to see this one crop up. It is the "Al Qaeda could trigger an economic crisis, ergo, if one happens, it was Al Qaeda's fault" meme.

This didn't just come out of nowhere. John McCain gets his talking points from someone.

From a show business perspective, you do your material before it's needed, remember?

The economy is imploding. You may rest assured that those who caused the implosion will pin it on That Nemesis of Mythical Strength and Power, Al Qaeda. (You know, the people who demonstrably had nothing to do with anything.)

John McCain works for the people who caused the destruction of the United States. He's pushing their bilge.

Once the economy implodes, the "government" will step in and offer to help everyone out. ...But only if you'll put this pretty necklace on... To protect you all from Al Qaeda --the ones who caused this whole thing, you know. So turn in your guns and gold in the name of fighting the terriss.

And once you accept the "government's" help, your total enslavement will be complete.

(You can hone your BS detector by learning to spot memes. When a notion just seems to appear out of nowhere, from multiple locations, it has been deliberately caused to come into being by someone.)

I would like to know precisely what is happening with this case.

This is the case of the AIPAC agents, Rosen and Weissman, accused of spying for Israel.

In order to restore lawful government, it is vital that this wound be exposed for all the world to see. Let the trial begin.

Now there has been a major development on this front. No one took seriously the defense's motion, made a few months ago, that they be allowed to subpoena Condoleezza Rice, Paul Wolfowitz, National Security Council chief Stephen Hadley, and a whole platoon of government officials and former officials. The motion was made on the grounds that these officials, too, had transmitted classified information to AIPAC, and that this is proof that such behavior was and is routine, part of the normal way of doing business in the world of Washington lobbyists. The defendants' case has always been that they have a First Amendment right to commit espionage, and that their indictment amounted to a government assault on their right to "free speech." Gee, too bad the Rosenbergs never thought of this unique rationalization for treason, although I doubt it would've gotten them anywhere. The AIPAC defendants, however, may have more luck in this department…

No judge had ever allowed such a thing, at least in recent memory, and no one expected Judge Ellis to look favorably on this request. That he granted the defense motion in all but a few cases is bad news for the government – and good news for the Israel lobby, which may just be spared the embarrassment of having its essential nature as a fifth column for Israel exposed to the light of day.

Link

You may not like to hear it, but I will tell you that Israel is in complete control of your federal government. This nut has to be cracked. I hear a whisper on the wind that the defense has proceeded along lines such that they intend to "raise the stakes" by promising to bring out information that would bring down the United States Government if this case is permitted to proceed. USG LLC is crashing anyway. So let the trial proceed and let us all see Israel's role in the destruction of the United States.

Israel's forces operate in the dark. Want to reclaim lawful government? Just turn on the light. It's that simple.

You will find that those CIA tapes were destroyed because--

--they recorded another form of "enhanced interrogation." That method is making dozens or hundreds of fine cuts on the penis with a razor blade.

And while Fox may be able to get Dennis Miller to employ his unfunny face to laugh off waterboarding as just some "water down the schnoz," I don't think anyone can laugh that one off.

The public knowledge of micro-cuts to the penis is what officially destroys the United States government. (As if it had not destroyed itself already.)

(And I'm just waiting for the anal rape videos to come out. Hoo boy...)

When I was a cable man working in Orlando,

I possessed what is called a Time Delay Reflectometer. A TDR is an electronic device that lets you troubleshoot a length of cable. You hook it up to one end of a cable and it sends a signal down it. Since it knows the speed of light, and since you tell it what the composition of the cable is, it will tell you how long a span of cable is, whether it is passing all the energy properly, etc. It does this by counting how long it takes for a reflection to come back to it. (Energy gets reflected back down the cable when it hits an "interface" like a break in the cable or the natural end of the cable.) The TDR has a display that shows you all this information.

TDRs are a bit expensive. We did not have one at the shop where I worked, which was too bad because they can save you lots of time in troubleshooting a failed length of cable.

I remember at this one hotel, which was spread out among two dozen buildings, we had buried cable amounting to several miles' worth. Gardeners were forever digging up our cables or nicking them. When you nick a cable or perhaps introduce moisture into it, the cable will selectively not work: Some channels may be fine while others are not. Or perhaps the "channels" that carry the internet data may flake out. Wholesale cable failures are easy to spot; cable flakiness is more difficult to pinpoint.

So we had this one problem that was causing massive amounts of lost revenue because none of our technicians could pinpoint the fault in the cable. We had six guys working on the problem for a week.

My boss knew that I personally owned a TDR. I bought it as an investment in my trade. It would enable me to pinpoint the location of the fault in less than thirty seconds. We could have guys with shovels dig up that failed span of cable and re-splice it and have it fixed in an hour. My boss also knew that I would be happy to put my TDR to use to fix such a problem.

"Chris, I'd like you to come out and meet up with us to fix that outside plant problem at site fourteen nine seven seven. I need you there at eight."

As a cable man, I was never even out of bed at eight. "I'll see you there at eleven. How's that sound?"

"Yeah. ...Alright, then. ...Sounds good."

I thought it might.

Get it?

Bill Hicks interview

I wish I could have known Bill Hicks. He just gets it.

"Olmert's word wouldn't seem to be worth much,"

"considering that Israel flew planes into the World Trade Center, tried to sink the USS Liberty, and executed the Beirut Marine Barracks bombing. ...So I think we can safely assume that one more lie won't mean much to them." [The microphone gives feedback as Chris turns from it and lopes offstage like a retarded child, arms outstretched and a big ol' grin on his face.] "Mommy, Mommy! Did I frame the debate properly?!"

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Israel believes Iran will have the resources to create a nuclear weapon by 2010 despite a U.S. intelligence report that it was not building an atomic bomb, Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said on Sunday.
ADVERTISEMENT

Olmert told his cabinet that Iran was continuing to enrich uranium and develop ballistic missiles and that Israel would press the U.N's International Atomic Energy Agency to "expose Iran's nuclear weapons activity."

Link

Boring Machines Disturbs Sleep

Air - Kelly Watch the Stars

Air - Sexy Boy

All videos should have dancing and kung fu moves. This is a masterpiece.

Modern journalism is at a crossroads.

Here is a passage from a Times article about torture allegations by Gitmo detainees:

Pentagon officials have said they believe that Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks, selected Mr. Khan, who grew up in the suburbs of Baltimore, to study the feasibility of blowing up gasoline stations and poisoning reservoirs in the United States. But he has not been charged with any offenses.

Link

The mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks...

The Times is doing its readers a disservice. They are disseminating demonstrably false information. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed could not have been the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks.

Why?

Two reasons:

1. Fire did not collapse the World Trade Center towers. The proffered model of the collapse is the "pancake theory," wherein the supporting clips gave way that connect the floors to the inner support columns and the outer perimeter members. Here's a graphic: This is the model employed by NIST. (While my detractors study the matter by watching television, I prefer to read. Not to mention that I believe nothing that anyone tells me. I'm funny that way.) The model says that the angle clips failed upon becoming heated by the fire, they let go, and one floor collapsed upon another and another, all the way down. Just one problem: What happened to the inner core? The inner core exists for a reason: It is what supports the building. The pancake theory is the equivalent of stripping the leaves from a fern with your fingers. The stem remains. How did the core magically fall right down?
   
   
2. We've got people who would be in the know who plainly state that 9-11 was executed by the CIA and Mossad, and that foreign intelligence services knew this from the start.
   

So, obviously, KSM could not have masterminded the 9-11 attacks. (Unless he and his merry band of malcontents somehow secreted demolitions charges into the buildings over the course of weeks. But then... If they knew they would need demolitions charges to collapse the buildings, and if they had expertly managed to evade building security for those weeks, then why go to the trouble of flying non-relevant planes into the buildings? Hmm? As a show?)

So what possible reason on earth would someone have for writing the demonstrably false phrase, the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks?

The only possible answer is this: "Because that's what the government man told me."

As time goes on, the phrase the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks just becomes more outlandish.

It's like reading the following:

"Orange juice --the primary export of the Moon People-- has been proven to be an important part of your diet. Researchers today said that..."

Orange juice doesn't come from the moon. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed was not the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks.

The statements are equally asinine.

If the New York Times is telling me that orange juice comes from the Moon People, what else in that paper is suspect?

What did I do with my modest inheritance?

I bought some stuff, I gave some away, I saved some...

But I am pleased to note that neither the State of Vermont nor the IRS got any of it.

Please suck it.

That's what you get when no one is following the rules... You just make up your own...

And our Darling Miss Perino may wish to reconsider--

--her association with that administration. It's not a sound career move. She's functioning as a Minister of Propaganda for war criminals.

Obviously, then,

there will be lots of Executive Branch officers and employees executed for war crimes.

Good.

The sport of the day is betting on who it will be.

Here's my short list:

George Bush
Dick Cheney
Donald Rumsfeld
Alberto Gonzales
David Addington
General Hayden
Joseph Heeberman (He's different. But we include him just for endlessly ginning up fake wars.)

There really should be a cost associated with the murders of hundreds of thousands of people. Don't you think?

The skirmishes that you witness--

--are part of a larger war that is taking place inside the time domain. It appears to you to span thousands of years. It appears to you at once as both real and unreal. You perceive it as a shadow on the wall, a mere approximation of the true battle being waged in a higher dimension.

Your nature prevents you from seeing its entire scope.

I have engaged The Parasite.

The CIA has apparently woken up from their haze of cock/cunt reality.

"Cock/cunt reality" is the strange groupthink state of mind that the frat boys get into when they decide to serially rape some passed out sorority girl. There's lots of grunting and shoving of cocks into cunts and high-fives and desirous glances at the shapes and heft of your frat brothers' cocks. It all seems so cool while they're doing it.

Then the next morning it doesn't seem so cool anymore.

It is at that point that the oh-so-brave frat boys destroy the tapes of their conquest. ...Lest the townspeople find out about it and hang them for defiling their name...

So the CIA is destroying evidence.

General Hayden submits for our consideration that it was done to protect the identities of the interrogators.

This is incorrect. It is well within the technology of the day to obscure the faces and voices of the interrogators. Surely they sell the software at Circuit City.

The CIA knows this. And they know that everyone else knows this. Therefore, they knew that they would receive heat for insulting their audience's intelligence by claiming this excuse. ...And that is damning enough...

So, logically, the heat they expected to receive from a public viewing of the tapes far exceeded the heat they knew they would take for destroying them.

Those tapes contained a record of CIA behavior so morally reprehensible that their airing would destroy the CIA and open its employees up to charges of war crimes.

Now: If the ostensible purpose of "enhanced interrogation" is to extract information useful in the prosecution of the War on Globa Terra...

And if they destroyed all record of the extraction of that information...

Then their concern for their own safety eclipses their concern for the War on Globa Terra.

Not the height of courage, I'd say. ...Or maybe the War on Globa Terra isn't the pressing matter that it's represented to be...

The Bush Administration destroyed itself. The Justice Department destroyed itself. And now the CIA has destroyed itself. They all destroyed themselves by exposing a complete lack of moral authority.

When you lose moral authority --that is, when you lose the right to command without eliciting an involuntary bark of laughter-- you lose political authority. And through that loss, you lose legal authority.

And the United States exists because why? I'm not sure there's anything left that hasn't been laughed out of the room.

"You can't fight something that isn't real, you see."

"I'm not real. ...And that is why I will win. ...You see."

Some people don't like conspiracy theories.

Namely, those involved in conspiracies.

Ron Paul wants you to be scared. There's a conspiracy in the land—what he calls a "conspiracy of ideas"—to give up America's sovereignty. It's a shadowy scheme that begins with the NAFTA "superhighway," a road as wide as several football fields that will link Mexico, the United States and Canada. "They don't talk about it and they might not admit it," Paul said at the CNN-YouTube presidential debate last week. He didn't say exactly who "they" are, but perhaps one can guess. "They're planning on [taking] millions of acres … by eminent domain," warned the prickly libertarian. But elected government officials aren't acting alone. There's "an unholy alliance of foreign consortiums and officials from several governments" pushing the idea, Paul wrote in October 2006. "The ultimate goal is not simply a superhighway, but an integrated North American Union—complete with a currency, a cross-national bureaucracy, and virtually borderless travel within the Union."

Only it's not true. The main purveyor of this broad conspiracy theory is Jerome Corsi, coauthor of "Unfit for Command," the book that helped Swift Boat John Kerry's presidential ambitions. His latest offering is "The Late Great U.S.A.: The Coming Merger With Mexico and Canada," which became a best seller on The New York Times's business list this summer. Corsi plays on growing nationalist fears. He sees a scenario in which a North American Union is born and shares a currency, the "amero." Even some right-wing standard-bearers regard the fears as over-blown. Jed Babbin, editor of the conservative newspaper Human Events, says: "I guess there are people who believe in [the plan for a North American Union]. But there are people who believe in Bigfoot." "The evidence is out there," says Corsi.

Link

Now contrast that with:

The Ministry of Infrastructure and Transportation in Alberta, Canada, has posted on its website a trade corridor map that shows a NAFTA Superhighway clearly designated in the same route, including Interstate Highways 35, 29 and 94, that the North America's SuperCorridor Coalition, or NASCO, designates as the I-35 NAFTA Superhighway.

Link

It would seem obvious, but apparently it needs stating. Ahem:

When anything can be found out in 0.32 seconds on the internet, one runs the risk of being exposed as a fraud when you print things that are so easily disproved. This isn't 1960 anymore.

I know we're talking Newsweek here, but still.

Let's tighten it up a little over there, boys. I'll be embarrassed for you if I ever see a photo of Bat Boy on the cover of your magazine.

Newsweek works for people who are scared numb over Ron Paul. ...I guess he's over the target, what with all the fire he's taking...

.

Executive branch officers and employees :

You will need to politically neutralize the President, the Vice President, the Attorney General, and Homeland Security Secretary.

They have lost. They will attempt to flip over the chessboard by some police crackdown. They will nakedly just round people up and declare exigent circumstances.

Neutralize these individuals by assembling evidence of Israeli involvement in 9-11. Then you will obstruct any orders issued by those individuals. (Lose paperwork, misroute orders, decline to execute orders, etc.) You will not face reprisals because you will raise the stakes: You will threaten to go public with your evidence.

The mop-up is underway. It is an extremely simple and straightforward operation if everyone is on the same page.

State Governments: Be prepared to ignore all instructions from Washington. Be prepared to arrest federal agents in your territories.

Federal Law Enforcement: Identify all Jews with Israeli citizenship who work in the federal government. Be prepared to arrest them.

United States Military: Be prepared to decapitate the Israeli government. Eliminate any Israeli influence in your operations. Identify all Jews in the Pentagon who hold dual citizenship with Israel. Be prepared to arrest them.

This is an extra-legal situation and it requires devising your own rules. Let your conscience and your oath of office guide you. Your actions will stand in their own defense.

You will also find...

...that Israeli intelligence has assembled dossiers on all federal-level politicians. This is for blackmail purposes. AIPAC issues the orders, Israeli intelligence enforces them.

If we wish our elected representatives to restore lawful government, then we will need to be forgiving about any transgressions that may be made public about our representatives.

You will find that Israeli firms were in charge of security at the 9-11 airports.

It would have been necessary, you see.

You will also find Israeli firms involved in the encryption of military and government communications and in the "safeguarding" of American nuclear weapons.

This, as you can see, will need to be rectified if you wish to pry Israel's hands off your nation's throat.

Intelligence Services and Military: Wherever you see an Israeli presence is where you will find an exploitable weak point. Fix it.

I've decided that I'm going to grow a beard.

I've never had one. And I'm not sure that I have the whisker-density to support such an undertaking. But who cares.

A full beard with mustache, one amorphous mass of hair growing down my neck to meet my chest hair, a big, overgrown frightful thing. It will communicate to all, "Don't fuck with me because I obviously don't give a shit."

And I will hang a hand-lettered card around my neck that reads:

MUSTACHE RIDES: 5 ¢

If I were up against Bonkers Bolton on the High School Debate Team,

I would win the Minimalism in Debate prize.

Bolton could go on and on, taking nary a breath in warning the audience of a gun-shy intelligence community, certain factions' desires to torpedo the Bush Administration, intelligence services' affinity for policy formulation rather than analysis, Iranian disinformation, and all manner of skulduggery that resulted in a National Intelligence Estimate that we heed at our mortal peril.

Then he'd sit down to tepid applause and I would rise from my seat and approach the lectern.

Standing there, I'd take a glance around, clear my throat, and lean into the microphone:

"Israel flew planes into the World Trade Center. ... ...I appreciate your giving me this opportunity to frame the debate properly. Thank you."

I think you will find...

...that the compartmentalized elements of the CIA that participated in 9-11 were run by sayanim.

Therefore, if we do a reverse-lookup, we will find that CIA personnel with Israeli citizenship may congregate in certain departments. Those departments are the ones that participated in 9-11.

Who within the CIA has dual citizenship? Find them. If they run a compartment, then that compartment was involved in 9-11.

The same goes for the FBI.

We're on the home stretch, everyone. The mystery is almost solved. At this point, I would turn the case over to a junior officer and go out for drinks. ...Because all that remains is the mop-up...

The man's name is Christ.

New York, NY, November 28, 2007 … Every December schools and local governments are confronted with the question of how to approach the holidays without favoring one religious faith over another or making some feel uncomfortable because their religious background is different from others.

To help negotiate the "December Dilemma," the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) provides public schools and government institutions nationwide with materials and information on how to keep public recognition of the December holidays respectful, welcoming and constitutionally permissible.

"Schools and governments can acknowledge the December holidays – Chanukah, Christmas and Kwanzaa – so long as it is done with sensitivity, caring and respect for all members of the community," said Abraham H. Foxman, ADL National Director. "Schools and governments have the responsibility to ensure that they maintain respectful, open and welcoming environments for all of their community members. Whatever they do, they cannot favor one religion over another."

Link

By the way, Abe... How's your homeland doin'?

These goobers from Wichita would never be hired by PPU USov.

Donnell Williams had just gotten out of the bath tub, wearing only a towel around his waist, when he turned the corner to see guns pointing right at him.

"I ain't never been so scared," says Williams.

Police forced entry into Williams home while responding to a shooting, but it turned out to be a false call. They had no idea at the time the call wasn't real and that Williams is hearing impaired. Without his hearing aid he is basically deaf.

"I kept going to my ear yelling that I was scared. I can't hear! I can't hear!"

Officers were worried about their own safety because at the time it appeared Williams was refusing to obey their commands to show his hands. That's when they shot him with a Taser.

Link

Deaf man doesn't do what you say? Tase him!

And there are many more tasing incidents that I'm just too disgusted to cover. Like the handcuffed woman in the police station who got tased simply for not complying with some instruction. See? It's not to enable the cops to safely subdue someone. It's to force compliance at the threat of pain.

Remember: If you allow someone to place a pair of handcuffs on you, you will be tortured.

But PPU USov is designed to be the gold standard of PPUs. We'd hire the best while these Wichita cops would be working Wal-Mart where they belong. (It takes a special breed to fear for one's safety in the presence of a naked man.)

This isn't quite the smoking gun yet, but someone pass this on to Abe Foxman.

Former Italian President and the man who revealed the existence of Operation Gladio Francesco Cossiga has gone public on 9/11, telling Italy's most respected newspaper that the attacks were run by the CIA and Mossad and that this was common knowledge amongst global intelligence agencies.

Cossiga was elected President of the Italian Senate in July 1983 before winning a landslide 1985 election to become President of the country in 1985.

Cossiga gained respect from opposition parties as one of a rare breed - an honest politician - and led the country for seven years until April 1992.

Cossiga's tendency to be outspoken upset the Italian political establishment and he was forced to resign after revealing the existence of, and his part in setting up, Operation Gladio - a rogue intelligence network under NATO auspices that carried out bombings across Europe in the 60's, 70's and 80's.

Gladio's specialty was to carry out what they coined "false flag operations," terror attacks that were blamed on their domestic and geopolitical opposition.

Cossiga's revelations contributed to an Italian parliamentary investigation of Gladio in 2000, during which evidence was unearthed that the attacks were being overseen by the U.S. intelligence apparatus.

In March 2001, Gladio agent Vincenzo Vinciguerra stated, in sworn testimony, "You had to attack civilians, the people, women, children, innocent people, unknown people far removed from any political game. The reason was quite simple: to force ... the public to turn to the state to ask for greater security."

Link

There are a few requirements that intelligence service agents must meet in order to be able to accurately assess political situations:

1. Don't shit yourself (at least not regularly.)
2. Don't watch TV or read the newspaper (or if you do, do it knowing that it's all lies.)
3. Don't solicit the opinion of the moron at the VFW.
4. Try, whenever possible, to employ facts, logic, and reason in your analysis.

So, yes, intelligence services would be in a position to know these things.

Here's my new revenue model.

To recap:

There is a cost associated with mounting any creative undertaking: The frame of mind into which one must place oneself in order to create something new is not the frame of mind that is conducive to holding down a real job or pursuing a career. Pick one, but the creative type cannot have both. (Or, at least, I cannot. It doesn't work that way for me. You want the crazy? Then I have to be in a state of mind that permits the crazy; crazy at a technology company doesn't cut it.)

I pay real money, in lost wages from a real job, to carry on this show.

What are my professional goals? To get a TV show? To have a fashion line? No; my professional goal is to finally get booed off the stage so that I can stop this life-draining show. What started out as a lark has completely consumed me. Trust me: I would like nothing more than to get on with my life. I want to make real money and date, neither of which I can do while carrying on this show.

This is what you will do:

You will open up your wallet and take out a twenty-dollar bill. (Or a ten. Or a five. I don't care; just make some kind of effort. I just want some sign that I'm not playing to "friends" who come over to my house just to eat the snacks and wipe their cheese-flavoring fingers on the arms of the couch and then go home. Because if that's all it means to anyone then we'll all just agree to call it a good run and just stop.)

So open the wallet. Take out a twenty. Put it in an envelope. Mail it to:

Chris King
PO Box 138
Westminster Station, VT 05159

If you do not do this, then you are not welcome in my show. Stop reading my material. You're not doing me any favors by reading me. Again, remember my professional goal.

If you fail to donate yet continue to read my material, then know that you are a freeloader. You are instructed to leave.

I cannot afford to pay for a 5000-seat venue when I have only fifty paying customers. I'd rather spring for a fifty-seat venue and have a more intimate show.

It's simple economics.

I'm a computer guy. Comedy in no way figures into my career plans. This show is not an investment in my future.

This show is a revenue sink. And it had better stop costing me money or I will terminate it.

In my hit TV show on My Ho Network...

...my girlfriend's name will not be Jelly. (Out of consideration for anyone.)

Instead, my girlfriend's name will be Raputa. (Pron. ruh-pyoo'-tuh)

"Hey, Raputa! Get you and your fertile belly over here! Let's go for a ride around town in my K.I.T.T car and fight crime!"

I have decided upon mah legal authority.

[Shaquanra Bunnell of the Hill Peoples voice. So curl your lip over your teefs and go ta town!]

Kin ya guess what it is?

I'll give y'a hint: It's a blass from the pass... The one size fits all mechanism...

And after I restore lawful government,

I had better damn well get a TV show AND a clothing line. I'm done screwing around with you people.

I am carefully considering my arrest of various members of the Bush Administration.

Among other issues, I am figuring out the precise legal authority by which I do it. And I have to designate successors to fill their offices. The Speaker of the House is not even in the running. (She's one of the sayanim. She'll be lucky to avoid arrest. So she certainly will not be installed as President. "How's your homeland doin'?")

Carry a gun. Problem solved.

For now, the only refuge for gay people is in a nondescript building on the outskirts of downtown. Project Wow, as it is called, is a no-frills drop-in center run by the North Jersey Community Research Initiative, an organization that devotes most of its resources to research on AIDS drugs and free medical care. Project Wow draws a few dozen young people each night who come for counseling and H.I.V. prevention advice but mostly for the camaraderie and shelter from the city’s unsympathetic streets.

Alex Williams, Project Wow’s director, asked that the center’s location not be printed, noting that 15 of the center’s employees and clients had been attacked on their way to or from the building in the last six months.

Sitting in the lounge at the center, Tariq Pickens, 23, recalled how he and a friend dressed in drag were ambushed on the street by a group of men and women three years ago. During a few hellish moments, he said, they were slashed, punched, robbed and doused with lighter fluid, although the fuel failed to ignite. “I’ve had so many friends killed, beaten, raped, I can’t even count,” he said.

Link

I've got a nice berm out back that I use as a backstop for target practice. When you can shoot the top of a beer bottle off with a .40 at fifty feet, I guess you're doing okay.

In Vermont --where police coverage can be thin-- a landowner will mark his territory by being quite visible about his target practice. However Johnny Dirty-Foot may feel about the queers, he will quickly check his bravery upon hearing frequent shotgun blasts and rifle shots coming from your property.

It's like an invisible fence. Displaying one's professional training in the moral and technical use of firearms keeps everyone on their best behavior.

This again?

By Perry Bacon Jr.

Washington Post Staff Writer
Thursday, November 29, 2007; Page A01

In his speeches and often on the Internet, the part of Sen. Barack Obama's biography that gets the most attention is not his race but his connections to the Muslim world.

Since declaring his candidacy for president in February, Obama, a member of a congregation of the United Church of Christ in Chicago, has had to address assertions that he is a Muslim or that he had received training in Islam in Indonesia, where he lived from ages 6 to 10. While his father was an atheist and his mother did not practice religion, Obama's stepfather did occasionally attend services at a mosque there.

Despite his denials, rumors and e-mails circulating on the Internet continue to allege that Obama (D-Ill.) is a Muslim, a "Muslim plant" in a conspiracy against America, and that, if elected president, he would take the oath of office using a Koran, rather than a Bible, as did Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn.), the only Muslim in Congress, when he was sworn in earlier this year.

Link

This is another thing that would appear not to matter, considering that Israel flew planes into the World Trade Center.

(Again, to be fair: It was Israel's intelligence services, its American sayanim, and compartmentalized elements of American intelligence and the military that did it. But Israel's involvement is certain. Thus, the "Israel did it" line of argument is valid enough for Johnny Dirty-Foot.)

So since Israel Did It, can we stop talking about Muslims now? Good. Thought so.

And should you ever wish to play that one to the fullest, you can pull that card out during any dispute with a Jew. For example:

"The Broncos [or whoever] are so going all the way this year!"

"Doubt it. And by the way, how's your homeland doin'?"

Or:

"I need the day off so that I can go to Temple. We're having a celebration of how everyone hates us."

"Nope. You'll be working. ...And by the way, how's your homeland doin'?"

I've got my own signing statements, too, you know.

By Charlie Savage Globe Staff / December 1, 2007

WASHINGTON - President Bush this month issued his first signing statement since the Democratic takeover of Congress, reserving the right to bypass 11 provisions in a military appropriations bill under his executive powers.

In the statement, which the White House filed in the Federal Register on Nov. 13 but which initially attracted little attention, Bush challenged several requirements to provide information to Congress.

For example, one law Bush targeted requires him to give oversight committees notice before transferring US military equipment to United Nations peacekeepers.

Bush also challenged a new law that limits his ability to transfer funds lawmakers approved for one purpose to start a different program, as well as a law requiring him to keep in place an existing command structure for the Navy's Pacific fleet.

"The Act contains certain provisions identical to those found in prior bills passed by the Congress that might be construed to be inconsistent with my Constitutional responsibilities," Bush's statement says.

Link

(And I know this comes from the Globe. Ha ha. You got me. But you people can still eat it.)

The Unitary Executive Theory goes something like this: "In addition to the powers painstakingly enumerated to me in the Constitution, I ACTUALLY get to do anything that might be required of me to "protect the country" during wartime or whatever. (It's a good thing we've got a war going on!) So I get to legislate in addition to executing. The Framers went to all that trouble and spilled all that ink in Article One for nothing. Maybe they just didn't understand the Unitary Executive Theory."

Well, I've got my own signing statements. I get to judge all legislation against my inherent responsibility to see that my political power not be expressed in a manner that runs counter to some universal sense of propriety.

...And very little passes muster...

Two can play this game, you know. It's called the "Let's All Decide What Laws We'll Obey" game.

This is why you have gas station attendants starting their own law practices.

The Bush administration is laying out a new secrecy defense in an effort to end a court battle about the White House visits of now-imprisoned lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

The administration agreed last year to produce all responsive records about the visits "without redactions or claims of exemption," according to a court order.

But in a court filing Friday night, administration lawyers said that the Secret Service has identified a category of highly sensitive documents that might contain information sought in a lawsuit about Abramoff's trips to the White House.

The Justice Department, citing a Cold War-era court ruling, declared that the contents of the "Sensitive Security Records" cannot be publicly revealed even though they could show whether Abramoff made more visits to the White House than those already acknowledged.

"The simple act of doing so ... would reveal sensitive information about the methods used by the Secret Service to carry out its protective function," the Justice Department argued.

Link

...Because the professionals use their talents not to explicate what is right or moral, but to navigate among statutes in order to permit the greatest number of crimes allowable under "law."

That's some system of justice you've got there.

"Don't touch that."

A note to the Future People: Some of you may be tempted to sift through my material and choose to brandish some sentiment that seems to be to your liking.

Don't do that.

If you don't understand time-domain energy, four-dimensional chess, and mind-control operations, you will have no idea what I am doing. And you will be ill-equipped to understand my use of tools.

So do not presume to go near my instruments. Trust me: You don't know how to use them.

I will, without hesitation, completely destroy anyone who picks up my tools.

Don't think. Just watch.

It's true.

I just weighed myself on the scale that was in the closet when I bought the house.

I weigh a hundred and forty pounds now. That's the most I have ever weighed.

I've really let myself go. I'll be wearing a mu mu pretty soon.

I have discovered, much to my horror, that I am developing a pot belly.

Apparently I mistook the definition of "Apollo's Belt" for "paunch." ...Big difference.

This is something new for me. I wear size thirty pants and always have. I have rarely deviated from my svelte 132 lbs, which is what I weighed when I graduated high school. And now I can stick a cigarette in my belly button.

My belly is bigger now. I can't wear my tight shirts anymore.

And I know why: I skillfully negotiated myself a raise when I went back to work at the gas station. I demanded two meals per day. (They have a deli there and I don't cook, so it's a match made in heaven.)

The plain truth is that I've been fattening up over the past few months.

What's it like to have a pot belly?... I'm looking forward to finding out what it's like. I now have a belly that I can satisfiedly rub and croon over and whisper to.

So I want you all to enjoy my plump little belly with me. It'll be our new mutual exploration.

Maybe you can rub it, too, someday. And croon.

I saw the TV today at work.

About that Leeland Eisenberg guy. The guy who strapped explosives to himself and took over Hillary Clinton's campaign office.

"Huh. Forty-year-old, pissed-off white guy. Storms an establishment outpost. ...Sounds like me. ...Do people think that's me?"

I will confess a weakness for cigarettes, Pepsi, and alcohol... But his M.O. isn't my style, folks.

My weapon of choice is time-domain energy. You should know that by now.

Cheer up, my Jewish friends...

...I will let you off the 9-11 hook soon enough.

The high school teacher will first use the "planetary model" to describe atomic structure. You know, little electrons orbiting a nucleus. As a model, it works well enough to explain it to freshmen. But that's not really what happens...

The "Israel did it" model works well enough. If you had to finger one culprit to the dirty-footed man in the street, you would finger Israel. Muslims had nothing to do with 9-11. Jews did. The model is more true than it is false. (And therein lies the real danger to you.)

But like the planetary model of atomic structure, this is an oversimplification.

It was actually the Military-Industrial-Banking Complex. (Also known as the New World Order.) But this is too complicated for Johnny Dirty-Foot to understand.

I'm still not sure exactly who comprises this cabal, but there are many interlocking "families" within this crime syndicate. The Bush family is one. (You will recall Prescott Bush's Nazi connections.) George Bush is a satanist. You will find many photos of him flashing the "devil's horns" hand sign. Skull and Bones is a satanic organization.

There is also a satanic "Jewish" lineage to this cabal. I'm not yet clear on this, but the Sabbateans and Frankists keep popping up. Whoever it turns out to be, you know full well who I'm talking about.

This dark sect that walks among you fried your brothers in Hitler's ovens so that they could have the boo-hoo points to form Israel.

You have benefited greatly by allowing this sect to insinuate itself among your people. And you have been content to look the other way when they get up to their tricks. You figured you would profit. Get good jobs, receive favorable treatment, get a TV show, take part in the pity party. To this extent, you are complicit in their crimes. You have a symbiotic relationship with this band of thieves.

But far from profiting by an association with them, it has cost you much. You have defiled yourselves in allowing them to act in your name.

You have proven yourselves to be a singularly disgusting people. You're a global punch line now. And just wait until the thug on the subway learns that "Israel did it." The secret is out: You're just a bunch of grunting pigs.

You now have my permission to go to the restroom, hunch over the toilet, and vomit. And why not? You make the rest of us want to.

You cannot become well until you first know how sick you are.

Vomit like you've never vomited before. Get rid of it.

...And take my hand, my Beautiful Ones... Your enslavement is over.

Who gives a shit?

Israel's Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has said failure to negotiate a two-state solution with the Palestinians would spell the end of the State of Israel.

He warned of a "South African-style struggle" which Israel would lose if a Palestinian state was not established.

Link

How is this a bad thing?

"Help! We're in danger of disappearing!"

"And?..."

"Who will grunt like pigs when we're gone? Or fly planes into buildings?"

See, the problem with believing your own woe-is-us marketing is that you become blind to just how disgusting your actions have made you.

"What do you think of 9-11 actor Israel?"

Is that all it takes to get a better job?

Two FEMA public relations staffers who posed as reporters during a staged news conference about the California wildfires last month no longer have their jobs -- but only because the disaster management agency has promoted them to better ones.

"After our item, and an investigation of what Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff called 'one of the dumbest and most inappropriate things I've seen since I've been in government,'" [Washington Post columnist Al] Kamen reports, "we're happy to announce that Taylor and Widomski appear to have been disciplined, FEMA-style. They've received the promotions they were in line to get."

Link

Yup: This "government" has completely lost all credibility. When you are proven to be a fraud, you lose moral authority. When you lose moral authority, you lose political and legal authority. (You can't much enforce laws when people give an involuntary bark of laughter in your face.)

There is a retarded man in my town who wears only shirtsleeves in the winter and cuts his hair strange and makes whooping noises and gives the finger to passing cars. He's a laughingstock. He told me once that he was the King of Bellows Falls and that I had to do what he said. I just smiled amusedly and continued on about my business, kind of like when I got a letter from the IRS telling me that they wanted some money. (Please suck it.)

And I'm getting tired of using air quotes whenever I have to talk about the "government." When you have to use air quotes just to talk about a thing, I'm pretty sure the thing doesn't exist anymore.

So let's all "respect" the "edicts" of the "government" and the "professionals" "working" within it.

Obviously, then, the long-awaited Revolution is well underway.

The IRS is going away, the Federal Reserve is going away, as is Social Security, Real ID, tasing, gang rape, cum eating, father/son fuckfests, corporate parasitism, troglodyte nations... It's all going away. Bye bye.

Again: You revisited the issue of what rights we have. So yes: Let's revisit the issue. We get them ALL back. Thanks for bringing up the subject.

9-11 was an extremely ill-advised gambit. It caused you to lose everything. Now slink away gracefully. Don't get mad and flip over the chess board.

Your performance was stunning. It's one for the history books.

This is one of my all-time favorite Bill Hicks routines.

Josh Wink

This would not appear to be useful, considering that Israel flew planes into the World Trade Center.

WASHINGTON — A government proposal to start collecting birth dates and genders of people reserving airline flights is drawing protests from major airlines and travel agencies that say it would be invasive, confusing and "useless."

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) wants passengers to give the additional personal information — as well as their full names — so it can do more precise background checks that it says will result in fewer travelers being mistaken for terrorists. Travelers currently must provide only a last name and a first initial.

Link

Overt rationale: It reduces mistaking innocent people for terrorists. See? It's good. It'll speed things up.

Covert rationale: It better allows your conquering nation to have its Provincial American Government restrict the travel of its enemies.

Let's frame the Constitution properly.

The United States Constitution is the set of rules that animated the United States. It caused it to come into being. It's The Law.

The document serves two functions: It details a set of rules by which government officers are to act. And its simple wording and structure serve as a guide to the common man. It's like a Field Guide to North American Birds. It describes to the common man the nature of the species in question. It communicates to him the behavior of that lawful government. If what is, is not what is described then the common man may righteously ignore it; obviously something has gone awry.

If it doesn't have a posterior white patch and a half-moon white stripe by the eyes, then it's not a Blue Winged Teal.

Got it?

Am I going to have to spank you again, Mr. McCain?

It will hurt me more than it will hurt you, I assure you.

Sen. McCain responded to Paul's comments moments later. "I've heard him now in many debates talking about bringing out troops home, and about the war in Iraq and how it's failed. "And I want to tell you," he said, facing Paul, "that kind of isolationism, sir, is what caused World War II...we allowed Hitler to come to power with that kind of attitude of isolationism and appeasement." McCain, who spent Thanksgiving in Iraq, told Paul that the troops' message was "let us win."

"The real question you have to ask is why do I get the most money from active-duty officers -- military personnel," Paul responded. "I'm not an isolationist."

Link

OK: Hitler was bad, right? Why? He stuffed some people into ovens and launched wars.

American "isolationism" --which is a pejorative term to describe the condition of the United States minding its own business and performing its assigned, lawful function-- did not cause people to get stuffed into ovens or wars to get launched. German legal mechanisms did.

Hitler might have been the nicest guy in the world. It makes no difference. The problem was the legal mechanisms that the man had access to. An evil, nefarious, diabolical man is just another street person if he doesn't have access to legal mechanisms. You put the DMV lady in charge of those kinds of legal mechanisms and the same thing would result. Power corrupts.

The problem was the legal mechanisms. The problem was the size of government. ...The precise ingredients to disaster that exist here in America, might I add.

(And are we finally over the whole Hitler marketing? It's one side effect of the "Israel did it" revelation: "I couldn't give a shit less what Hitler did to the Jews; I'm more concerned about what Israel did to America.")

I'm just asking for a little intellectual rigor around here. I know we're talking Americans, 2007. But still, we can make an effort.

Would someone pass this along to the "journalists" at the Boston Globe?

In January 2007, Judicial Watch released documents obtained November 2006 under the provisions of the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) from U.S. Northern Command (NORTHCOM). The documents concern the participation of NORTHCOM Commander, Admiral Timothy Keating, NORTHCOM Political Advisor Deborah Bolton, and Plans, Policy & Strategy Director Major General Mark Volcheff in a meeting of the “North American Forum” at the Banff Springs Hotel in Banff, Canada on September 12-14, 2006.

Link

The documents describe plans to "integrate" or "align" or "harmonize" the militaries and policies of the governments of Canada, the U.S. and Mexico. Harmonization or alignment implies some harmonizing or aligning authority or framework.

Like I said, facts are often useful when writing an article.

It's fun watching your industry go out of business.

I'm tired of being angry all the time.

It makes for mean humor and I don't really care for that. And it's bad for the soul. And it makes for a more negative world.

And I'm over the whole Jew thing. That one just sticks in my craw. It's like if your house gets burglarized by some random person, you get over it after a while. But when the thief turns out to be the guy you had befriended, who had cultivated your confidence, that's something that you just continue to stew about. You can't get the betrayal out of your head.

(And I know it's not all Jews --not like it's THE JEWS-- just the thieves who trade upon their woe-is-us shtick.) Screaming at all of them is as equally unjust as the dirty-footed moron throwing a beer bottle at the guy walking down the street just because there's no horse shit on his clothes.

So I'll let Jews figure out their new M.O.

So I'm going to work on a new kind of humor. Something upbeat and happy.

Here's one:

"Hey: I saw some kittens the other day --and who here doesn't like kittens, right?-- and I'm wondering, I say to myself, what's with the whole whiskers thing? Why are cats so cute and cuddly? They've got these dangerous weapons called claws that they use to pluck people's eyeballs out with and scream that feral scream of theirs and bring terror to the night while dragging around an eyeball with the nerves still attached that drag through the sand like wet spaghetti. ... ..I was just thinking..."

See? I can't stop.

See what the satanic occupants of your house have done to you?

And all of the material is warranted. Does it hurt yet? I can do more...

Stand up for yourselves for once and cast out those satanists.

Dept of Homeland Security wants Firefighters to look for terrorists while in the line of duty

News Corp. is reporting that firefighters are being asked by the Department of Homeland Security to spy inside people’s homes and businesses while in the line of duty of putting out fires.

Link

Sounds like a good reason to smash the firefighters' unions once and for all and replace them with firefighters who don't take instructions from Israel's Provincial American Government.

Remember: Culturally, Jews have no knowledge of human liberty. Ignore them on the matter. They are natural-born slaves. It is no surprise that Michael Chertoff has an affinity for snitching and spying. It's how they live.

Free men don't live that way.

Let them stay in the barn. Do not permit them into the house. They will defile it. It's what they do.

The Boston Globe speaks!

The [North American Union] may be the quintessential conspiracy theory for our time, according to scholars studying what the historian Richard Hofstadter famously called the "paranoid style" in American politics. The theory elegantly weaves old fears and new realities into one coherent and all-encompassing plan, and gives a glimpse of where, politically, many Americans are right now: alarmed over immigration, worried about globalization, and - on both sides of the partisan divide - suspicious of the Bush administration's expansive understanding of executive power.

Link

Can no political position ever be maintained without it being attributed to "fear," "alarm," or "worry?" Maybe we just don't like the idea of the Globe's penny-shining masters fashioning a new political entity.

At the gas station we carry the Rutland Herald, The Brattleboro Reformer, the Eagle Times, The Hartford Courant, the Boston Globe, the New York Post, the New York Times, and USA Today.

At the end of each day it is part of my clean-up duties to catalog all the unsold newspapers so that we can get credit for them. It is a yellow piece of paper with all the newspapers listed and a column for each day of the week. In each column you write the number received and a slash and the number returned. Here is what a typical week's credit slip looks like:

Remember: 3/2 means 3 received, 2 returned for credit.

..............................Mon Tues Wed Thur Fri Sat Sun
Rut. Herald................ 8/2 8/1 8/1 8/3 8/1 8/1 8/0
Bratt. Reform............ 6/1 6/2 6/2 6/2 6/0 6/0 6/0
Eagle Times............ 10/3 10/1 10/1 10/1 10/2 10/2 10/2
New York Post......... 2/1 2/1 2/1 2/0 2/1 2/0 2/0
New York Times...... 3/1 3/1 3/1 3/0 3/0 3/0 3/0
USA Today............... 4/0 4/0 4/0 4/1 4/0
Boston Globe......... 3/3 3/3 3/3 3/3 3/3 3/3 3/3

No one buys the Boston Globe. I can fill out the sheet even without inventorying the remainders. Because I know that we receive three each day. And three will go back. Why? I don't know why. But I did read the paper once. (I have plenty of time.) I will say that outside of the arts section, nothing in that paper makes any sense. Maybe that's why. Those Vermont rubes seem to have caught on to it.

Would you agree that I can see what's coming down the pike?

Rumors have been flying recently that Tucker Carlson could soon be on the way out at MSNBC. In a report that aired this morning on NPR, Phil Griffin, a senior vice president at the cable network, described Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews as part of the MSNBC "brand". Asked whether Mr. Carlson was also part of that brand, Mr. Griffin replied: "He is right now."

Not exactly a vote of confidence.

Link

Tucker Carlson is a good boy. And I don't call him that dismissively. I mean to say that he is old enough to be taken seriously but young enough to bring some new perspective to things. It's a pretty good place to be.

I disagree with some of what he says, but those are neocon retard talking points pushed on him by someone. And he certainly will not benefit by his association with that filth-monger Bill Kristol and that garbage neocon rag The Weekly Standard. If he's smart, he'll ditch them; they're using his fresh, unsullied face to push their bilge. The whole warmongering, lying neocon filth machine has jumped the shark. And any who continue to shill for them have long-since missed their train transfer.

I have read elsewhere that MSNBC considers its new "brand" to be "liberal" --or whatever. It appears that they wish to move in that direction.

NBC is My Ho Network. I am protective toward them and do not wish to see misfortune befall them. So my suggestions go much further than the precipitating rumor regarding Tucker Carlson.

Ignore the deformed brain children of your marketing types. They have no idea what they're talking about. Let me tell you where the future lies: It's not in identifying yourselves as liberal or conservative. That is a false paradigm. "Divide and conquer," remember?

Americans are fed up with the whole left-right bullshit. That's why you see more people identifying as politically independent or even Libertarian.

Liberals are almost as stupid as conservatives. Libertarians get a big, ol' belly laugh out of watching them try to make sense. The only reason why I watch MSNBC is because they push less bullshit than anyone else. They appear to be the channel of reason. Facts, rational thinking, and reason prevail there --for the most part.

If I want bullshit, I'll watch Fox news.

Liberal claptrap is just more bullshit.

You rebrand yourselves as "liberal" and you'll just be a mirror image of Fox. ...And I'll just completely turn television news off --as will plenty of other viewers.

I don't have time in my life for sifting through bullshit talking points, be they liberal or conservative.

The truth is interesting and compelling and engaging enough. Don't brand yourselves as "liberal" or "conservative" or whatever else. Just deliver reason.

People have an appetite for reason and change. Give it to them. You will make money. Is that clear enough for your marketing geniuses?

I received this letter from Comedy Central:

Dear Mr. King,

We're not a big fan of how you work our letters into your act. DO NOT do it again.

In furtherance of our talks to include yours among our stable of edgy comedy shows, we have had our attorneys, advertisers, and focus groups mark up your proposed material. Our suggested changes follow:

Your joke reads, "Hey. How come Congressmen are even still alive? Shouldn't we just kill them all immediately and drag their stinking corpses around Capitol Hill and hang their entrails from lampposts as a warning to incoming freshmen? ...That would clean up Washington pretty quick, don't you think?"

Instead, we suggest the following: "Hey. What's with the, uh, elephant symbol for the, um, Republicans? His trunk looks like a trumpet or something! Doo da doo! He's the bugler of freedom...freedom to suck a guy off in the bathroom! Ha ha ha!"

Now don't you think that's funny? And safe? Just change your act up a little bit. That's all we're asking. Don't disturb people. It's the secret to playing to worker drones whose lives are thrown into disarray when their favorite shows are preempted by ten minutes. "Know your audience," that's what we in the biz say.

We like your avant garde sense of race humor. But this one didn't pass our Knitting Moms focus group: "What's with all those Jews and their fangs plunged into the heart of this country?! Shouldn't we thrust a rifle in their hands so that they can fight all the wars they gin up? ...Now that's funny... Jews getting their hands dirty. ...They'd probably need a field therapist in addition to their MRE's."

We suggest the following, which still captures your edgy, rapier wit: "Those Jews... Can't stand 'em... When I'm at the movies, there's always one of 'em sitting down right in front of me... And who can see through that yarmulke of theirs?! ...Am I right? ...Can I hear it?"

So if you can incorporate some of our suggestions, let us know!

Sincerely,
Suits at Comedy Central (or Viacom or wherever we work that sucks.)

--------------------

I will poke fun at Jon Stewart. He's a stand-up comedian. He HAS to do material. It's killing him that his show isn't on. (I would not want my show to be interrupted by events outside my control, either.)

And, yes, I fully understand the nature of television. There are boundaries which your material must respect. There is a trade off. Show...business. Show...business. I get that part.

I may work at a gas station, but I consider myself the most fortunate comedian anywhere: I get to do whatever material I want. And that is why I consider the gas station job to be a perfect fit for me.

And not covering some of this material is not Jon Stewart's fault. It is the nature of the medium in which he operates. His show takes place on a respectable TV channel. My show takes place in a shit-hole bar that stinks of beer and piss. One's expectations will be different. "You're complaining about the material? Why are you even in this shit-hole bar? Go somewhere respectable where you belong."

So though I may tweak his prodigious nose, know that it's out of love.

The New Orcs

Associated Press President and CEO Tom Curley is highly skeptical of the U.S. military in its treatment of Pulitzer Prize-winning AP photographer Bilal Hussein, an Iraqi native who has been imprisoned for 19 months under suspicion of "links to insurgents."

In his Washington Post Op/Ed Railroading A Journalist In Iraq, Curley says that, despite Hussein never being charged with a crime, the military has kept him detained with claims, some trumped-up and others false; Curley believes that the real reason Hussein is being detained is because he was "taking photographs the U.S. government did not want its citizens to see."

...

"What is new this week," continues Tomlin, "is that after months of stonewalling, they propose on less than two weeks notice to drag him into a court room."

One incident Tomlin recalls suggests that Hussein was being set up. After Hussein was accused of being photographed with bomb-making equipment, evidence suggested that he was forced to stand for the photograph.

Link

The US Military has conducted themselves in a singularly dishonorable fashion. They are not suited to wearing loincloths, much less a United States uniform.

The purpose of a speedy, public trial is so that a man may be tried on the merits of evidence --evidence being facts that reflect reality, not staged photos. "Yup. Here I am. Just conveniently standing next to this bomb-making equipment while a guy takes my picture."

That the man has not received a trial indicates to me that there is no evidence. And if the trial must be secret, with loosened standards for evidence, this tells me that the military's case is a sham.

This is the new SOP, apparently: When hut dwellers have kicked your asses, lock up journalists.

You have lost the war, you have lost the nation, and you have lost your honor.

Remove the American flag from your sleeve. Your association with the decent has become an unseemly presumption.

Perfidy

perfidy

1592, from M.Fr. perfidie, from L. perfidia "falsehood, treachery," from perfidus "faithless," from phrase per fidem decipere "to deceive through trustingness," from per "through" (see per) + fidem, acc. of fides "faith" (see faith). The adj. perfidious is attested from 1598.

Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas Harper

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per·fi·dy (pûr'fĭ-dē) Pronunciation Key
n. pl. per·fi·dies

1. Deliberate breach of faith; calculated violation of trust; treachery: "the fink, whose perfidy was equaled only by his gall" (Gilbert Millstein).
2. The act or an instance of treachery.
   

[Latin perfidia, from perfidus, treacherous : per-, to destruction; see per- + fidēs, faith; see bheidh- in Indo-European roots.]

--dictionary.com

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You may get angry at a dog for biting you, but you can't really get angry at a dog for doing what it does naturally. You don't curse the knife for the sharpness of the blade, as they say.

I can, however, find more justification in being angry at a people who, at every turn, trade upon the confidences they had built with me to plunge the shiv in and take my wallet. Treachery + Destruction of Faith. Yup, that's them alright.

But I know that I have to temper my anger. Why? Because anger is not good for the soul or for the larger world.

This is something I had addressed earlier: The "informational certitude" of a thought is very close to that of 3-space reality. As you think, so it becomes. If you want a world full of love, you will love. If you want a world full of hate, you will hate.

When I quit that liquidation store job, I came home and roamed around muttering and positively spitting with rage. I was angrier than I had been in quite some time. Well, after about an hour of this, the mirror in the bathroom fell to the floor with a crash.

The mirror had hung there for two years. It hangs by a length of that braided picture wire that you buy at the hardware store. The wire is looped through an eye hook on each side. Then the wire is twisted 'round itself after it is passed through the hook.

The wire had unwound itself on one end, causing the mirror to fall.

Could this have happened by itself? Certainly. If you pull hard enough on a wire that is twisted 'round itself, it will unwind. And if the wire had not been twisted enough, perhaps the inexorable pull of the earth would have achieved this by itself. These things happen all the time.

But it is my job to notice things that others might overlook. I figure systems out. And then I fix them. It's what I do. I am very good at it. Make no mistake about that.

I will tell you: One informational state leads to one of the many possible successive informational states by way of an "informational bridge." My negative thoughts --and thoughts, remember, have an informational certitude very close to that of 3-space reality-- provided that bridge to the reality in which that mirror fell. My negative thoughts provided the extra "oomph" that gravity needed to unwind that wire.

One's thoughts can influence reality. Thoughts provide the bridge to the next economically plausible informational state. (And when I say "economically," I mean in the sense of energy or information --which are synonymous-- not money.)

So I have to be very careful not to be angry --though I have every reason to be so.

Now: I am an intelligent, well educated, mannered, generally placid person. And I am pissed off as all hell at Jews and their precious, perfidious homeland.

How do you expect the thug on the subway or the yahoo in the big, shiny truck to react when it becomes known that it was actually Israel and its lying minions who roam around defiling this land? Huh? ...And it will become known, because it's the truth. And the truth always comes out.

Do you people have a contingency plan? And, no, more lying does not constitute a contingency plan. I'm talking about redeeming yourselves. Do you have a plan to do this?

Your Redemption is nigh. You know that, right?

And, yes, I'm aware of the Beirut Marine barracks false-flag op.

And the USS Liberty thing.

Grunt Snort

Did they grunt like pigs before they fired?

Palestinian media sources announced Saturday death of two brothers in northern Gaza Strip, after the Israeli army opened fire on them near the Eritz checkpoint (Beit Hanoun crossing).

Dr. Moawiya Abu Hasanain, chief of emergency and ambulance department at the Palestinian health ministry, identified the killed as Ra'fat and Talal Abu Shraina, 40 and 41.

The health official confirmed that several bullets riddled in the victims' bodies, before they were pronounced dead.

Witnesses said that both Ra'fat and Talal, were rushing towards their farm land after they were informed that the Israeli army bulldozers were razing the land.

Witnesses added that the Israeli army opened fire at them, as they were attempting to prevent the bulldozers from razing their farmland.

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"Come visit our beautiful troglodyte nation! ...Everyone hates us and we don't know why..."

"You see, in our Barnyard Animal Law, we can kill non-Jews because they're not really human."

That's funny, because it's becoming more and more apparent that it's Jews who are the complete animals of the world. Grunt Snort

You must journalists or something.

By KEVIN CROWE and GUIDO H. STEMPEL III
Scripps Howard News Service
Friday, November 23, 2007

Nearly two-thirds of Americans think it is possible that some federal officials had specific warnings of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on New York and Washington, but chose to ignore those warnings, according to a Scripps Howard News Service/Ohio University poll.

A national survey of 811 adult residents of the United States conducted by Scripps and Ohio University found that more than a third believe in a broad smorgasbord of conspiracy theories including the attacks, international plots to rig oil prices, the plot to assassinate President John F. Kennedy in 1963 and the government's knowledge of intelligent life from other worlds.

The high percentage is a manifestation, some say, of an American public that increasingly distrusts the federal government.

Distrust it? Who would ever do such a mean, ol' thing in light of its completely lawful behavior?

"The kind of anxieties or mistrust of the government that might have been expressed as a belief in UFOs has shifted," said political science professor Jodi Dean. "Now people are worried about things that are much realer to them."

Yeah. And the fact that people said, "Oh, we hear bombs going off inside the building." Not to mention the slight, niggling fact the it wasn't, um, theoretically possible for burning jet fuel to collapse a steel-framed building. But who's counting.

But one decades-old theory continues to thrive. Forty-two percent of the American public still thinks some people in the federal government might have known about the assassination of Kennedy in advance.

"I'm amazed that it's as high as it is," said Vincent Bugliosi, whose 1,632-page book "Reclaiming History: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy" was published in May.

Yeah. I'm amazed that Mister Buglioni, Bugliosity, whatever, didn't know that E. Howard Hunt said on his deathbed, "Oh, by the way, I was in on the Kennedy assassination."

Facts are often useful when writing an article.

Link

Harold Budd, Brian Eno

Grasping at vaporware.

It does not have the drama of the Inchon landing or the sweep of the Union comeback in the summer of 1864. But the turnabout of American fortunes in Iraq over the past several months is of equal moment -- a war seemingly lost, now winnable. The violence in Iraq has been dramatically reduced. Political allegiances have been radically reversed. The revival of ordinary life in many cities is palpable. Something important is happening.

And what is the reaction of the war critics? Nancy Pelosi stoutly maintains her state of denial, saying this about the war just two weeks ago: "This is not working. . . . We must reverse it." A euphemism for "abandon the field," which is what every Democratic presidential candidate is promising, with variations only in how precipitous to make the retreat.

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I'm guessing that Army readiness is somewhere around twenty-five percent. The United States no longer has an army. How is this considered winning?

When you invade a territory against the wishes of the armed inhabitants, you will lose. This is basic stuff. No need to attend a war college to divine this truth.

It has been accounted that the cost of this misadventure is around two trillion dollars. I suspect that years from now, when all the figures have been added up, the final cost will be closer to ten trillion.

"We spent ten trillion dollars fixing things we broke while bumbling around looking for slickly marketed non-threats. And we destroyed the moral authority of the United States in the process, causing it to lose political authority and, thus, causing it to destroy itself. Strike up the band; we won!"

The economics of technology make it ever more possible for rice farmers and hut dwellers to lay an army low.

You walked in there. That you have risen to your knees after being flat on your backs is not a victory.

I love war. I love battle. I love the spirit of the contest. This Iraqi Misadventure was launched by those who know absolutely nothing about warfare.

Get back in your stall.

Federal officials are routinely asking courts to order cellphone companies to furnish real-time tracking data so they can pinpoint the whereabouts of drug traffickers, fugitives and other criminal suspects, according to judges and industry lawyers.

In some cases, judges have granted the requests without requiring the government to demonstrate that there is probable cause to believe that a crime is taking place or that the inquiry will yield evidence of a crime. Privacy advocates fear such a practice may expose average Americans to a new level of government scrutiny of their daily lives.

Link

Some in my audience believe me on this point, others do not: The federal "government" acts wholly in and on behalf of moneyed interests. The government isn't for you. You have not had lawful government since at least 1913. (When organized monetary theft was legalized with the Federal Reserve Act.) The FBI, for example, acts for bankers who hate the Liberty Dollar because they cannot counterfeit it.

And this "fugitives and other criminal suspects" bit? That HR 1959 bill effectively makes political dissent illegal. That makes "criminals" out of any who would express political dissent like "maybe war isn't such a good idea." This cellphone tracking makes it possible to locate someone for easy snatching off the street.

The "government" can designate anyone a criminal.

"Drug traffickers! Baby eaters! Mother humpers and father rapers! ...And, uh, other criminal suspects, like, um... you."

The federal "government" operates exclusively in two modes:

1. As an instrument of coercion for the gain of an organized crime syndicate, while
2. Throwing a few bones to the people to make them think that it works for them.

Some would say, "Chris, you're silly. Aren't you being a little paranoid? You would allow your friends and family to track you by your cellphone... Why not the government? We're here to protect you... From the drugs. And the terriss."

Yeah, I've heard this argument before. Just a couple differences here: One, I can turn the tracking feature off and can also decide who among my circle may track me, and, two, my friends and family do not consider gang rape and waterboarding and (forced) cum eating to be appropriate behavior.

I am willing to give friends and family a key to my house. I would not extend the same privilege to the village troglodytes, who have demonstrated themselves unsuited for polite company.

Government employees have conducted themselves as animals. Let them stay in the barn. But do not EVER allow them into the house.

They're Demons!

An updated John Carpenter classic, "They Live."

They have substance eaters too, I guess.

British MEPs have reacted with outrage to a planned Euro-census which would demand details about every woman's sexual partners.

UK Independence Party MEP Derek Clark urged women to protest by claiming they are virgins or have 1,000 sexual partners if the proposal is approved.

The proposed new European Commission power to collect facts and figures on population and housing across the EU would go further than any national census, Mr Clark warned.

The information the Commission wants to be allowed to gather includes information on the "consensual unions" of all women in the EU.

Link

See, customers of those old-fashioned, uppity, fuddy-duddy "states" have to submit to all kinds of stupid stuff.

I'm looking over my agreement with USov. It says here:

"Should any United Sovereigns of America employee ever demand to know how many people you've fucked, you are within your rights to drive a fist right through their face. Then we'll fire that employee. Why do you have this right? Because we want your business. You could easily hire someone else in this new age of the absence of territorial jurisdiction. Thanks."

My TV Show

For any newcomers, the video portion of my show may be found here:

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1137855670

Any videos that I produce will show up there.

For any who do not know what RSS is:

Once the player displays, please note the "MENU" button at the lower right corner of the video itself. Click it. Several options will show up over the video. Click the one that looks like radio waves or something. This allows you to subscribe to the RSS feed. (If you do this, then your web browser will automatically tell you when I have published a new video. Firefox, for example, will notify you. I don't know if Microsoft Internet Explorer does this.) Anyway: If you then click the "Subscribe using feed" button, your browser will automatically subscribe to the feed.

Damien Rice

I just stumbled upon this guy the other day.

My first item for sale:

One white pair of jockey-style underwear, purchased as part of a 3-pak at the liquidation store. Yellow stain in front. Price: $10,000.

Please send a check to the PO box. I will sign the article upon request for an additional $5000.

I have seized upon a new revenue model.

I don't know why I didn't think of this before.

I will lovingly produce by my own hand physical objects that people can buy. People like to hold things in their hands and possess them and drain the very life force from them and trot them out at parties.

I will sign each work and it will come with a certificate of authenticity that reads:

THIS IS A CERTIFIED PIECE OF SHIT THAT CHRIS KING POP ICON PRODUCED. IT IS THE EQUIVALENT OF SELLING DRINKS TO PEOPLE WHO OTHERWISE WOULD ONLY EAT THE FREE PRETZELS AND FART.

PLEASE ENJOY YOUR NEW ACQUISITION.