Saturday, December 01, 2007

I have discovered, much to my horror, that I am developing a pot belly.

Apparently I mistook the definition of "Apollo's Belt" for "paunch." ...Big difference.

This is something new for me. I wear size thirty pants and always have. I have rarely deviated from my svelte 132 lbs, which is what I weighed when I graduated high school. And now I can stick a cigarette in my belly button.

My belly is bigger now. I can't wear my tight shirts anymore.

And I know why: I skillfully negotiated myself a raise when I went back to work at the gas station. I demanded two meals per day. (They have a deli there and I don't cook, so it's a match made in heaven.)

The plain truth is that I've been fattening up over the past few months.

What's it like to have a pot belly?... I'm looking forward to finding out what it's like. I now have a belly that I can satisfiedly rub and croon over and whisper to.

So I want you all to enjoy my plump little belly with me. It'll be our new mutual exploration.

Maybe you can rub it, too, someday. And croon.