I will lovingly produce by my own hand physical objects that people can buy. People like to hold things in their hands and possess them and drain the very life force from them and trot them out at parties.
I will sign each work and it will come with a certificate of authenticity that reads:
THIS IS A CERTIFIED PIECE OF SHIT THAT CHRIS KING POP ICON PRODUCED. IT IS THE EQUIVALENT OF SELLING DRINKS TO PEOPLE WHO OTHERWISE WOULD ONLY EAT THE FREE PRETZELS AND FART.
PLEASE ENJOY YOUR NEW ACQUISITION.
