Would it freak you out?

No. Because my job is to keep you safe at night. That's what I've decided. ...Well, okay, I'm not The Decider any more. I guess I'm Lord Pistonbottom. I liked the Supreme Leader of Cucka Land better, but I guess this is more topical. ...But, yeah, I'm the point man in the War on Bad Marketing. ...You know, The OmniThreat.