Saturday, October 07, 2006

"Chris, why do you do comedy?"

It's certainly not to make your dead asses laugh.

You do fine by yourselves, sitting on the couch watching TV, shoveling chips into your fat faces and shitting yourselves. You don't need my help.

I took it up because of 9-11.

There's a war on, folks. And you don't even know who the actors are, much less what the strategy or objective is. The world almost became embroiled in a catastrophic war a few weeks ago. Do you remember? Or is your show on now? You likely would miss such a war; it likely would last less than fifteen minutes.

Objective? World domination. Nothing new. Hell, _I_ want to rule the world. There has never been a shortage of people who want to rule the world.

Strategy? Dictatorships worldwide. It's what I would do; they are an efficient means of governance. Dictatorships exist nearly everywhere already. The one country that stood in the way of a world dictatorship was the United States.

How to turn the US into a dictatorship? 9-11. Easy as pie to figure out. ...Unless you're a television watcher, in which case you know nothing --so please be quiet now. Let the big people talk... You know, the ones who read those silly old books and stuff. The ones whose minds have not been reduced to mush.

Who's behind it all? Businessmen. Nothing especially shocking. Make more money. The love of money is the root of all evil. Their souls are empty and they seek to fill them with money and power.

Your society was attacked on 9-11. But you don't even know who your true enemy is. You're chasing your tails, spinning yourselves into your own prison cells.

If you do not win this war, your society is doomed --as are all future human societies. Once the prison cell door closes, it doesn't open again. Is this something your television-addled brain can understand?

Who am I? Think of me as your neighborhood drill instructor.


I am an actor in this war. My weapon is ridicule. It is likely the most effective weapon that one man can wield. That is why I took up stand-up comedy: So that I could learn how to destroy things. You will know that I have been successful if I make you cry. I have given some of my targets a good reason to cry for once...

Who are my targets? I will not divulge them all, but here are some that you may have seen me work over. I have selected them for tactical purposes:

1. Republicans
2. Evangelical Christians (The "rosary bead fingering set," as I informally call them.)
3. Jews

"Chris big meanie. He make fun of us for no reason. He mean man." Not really. It's just that you accidently find yourself in the middle of a group of people who need destroying. Meanness really isn't a factor. But I will inflict maximum emotional harm. Make no mistake: I fully intend to leave my targets reeling. And the Future People are loving every minute of it.

Let's go down the list:

Republicans. An especially odious bunch. They are retards, as evidenced by the "R" after all of their names. How considerate of the news organizations to remind me...

The Republicans are the party of torture and child sex. Their leader, Lord Pistonbottom, sets the tone for the whole party. The Republicans don't exist anymore. Mission accomplished...

Evangelical Christians. They have been cultivated to provide support for the Republicans. They're making the world safe for Jesus one AssBanana at a time. I suspect that they are also being cultivated to act as "brown shirts," in the event that foot soldiers in domestic tyranny are required. Watch out for them. You know who they are: Those weirdos who speak in tongues and pray profusely, thinking they're going to be taken up on a spaceship to dine with Jesus. Wait until he delivers the punch line...

It is supremely easy to work a population into a religious fervor. They then make a useful social force. I am working on material to neutralize this threat. They are very dangerous. Do not underestimate them. They're like zombies.

Jews. I have spilled a lot of ink on these people. They were the most challenging target, owing to their painstakingly crafted marketing campaign to deflect any criticism of them. Anyone who takes issue with a Jew is, magically, an "anti-semite." That's fine with me, because anyone who takes issue with me is, magically, "ContraMe." You'll find its definition in my RidicuLexicon.

I spend extra time causing pain for the Jews because I have a special fondness for them. Republicans, evangelical Christians, and journalists could all disappear tomorrow for all I care. But Jews I'm attached to. I would rather not see harm come to them.

The Jews presently find themselves at the epicenter of enormous and very dangerous global power plays.

I will now say some things that are calculated to hurt you:

I have travelled the world and experienced many different cultures. Of them, I can say, truthfully and without reservation --and you can quote me on this-- that the American Jewish culture is the most disgusting one I have encountered yet.

Look at a Jew cross-eyed and she will --in one, well practiced motion-- turn an ankle, break a heel, fall down, start crying, and demand to know why you hate her so much.

Jews are weak and are natural born slaves. The concept of liberty is alien to them.

Jews will smear their enemies. An enemy is one who wishes to talk about Israel's inordinate influence on American policy.

Jews lie incessantly. If a Jew is talking, it's a lie. I can count on one hand the number of Jews I have known who were not pathological liars.

Old chestnuts? Nope. All personal experience.


The Jews are in a very dangerous place, because they are caught up with 9-11 actor Israel. 9-11 actor Israel will be erased. This is a foregone conclusion. The world will be better for it, because Israel is an abomination whose task is to secure access to mineral rights. As usual, the Jews are useful idiots. They think it's their homeland or something.

I hope that Jews can extricate themselves from this mess in time.

9-11 truth is now mainstream. No one believes the official 9-11 narrative anymore.

In time, the moving companies, the airport security firms, the art students, the sayanim, the Odigo thing, and all the rest will become known. When combined with the ghastly mess of the past five years and the erection of this domestic police state, it will be open season on Jews. The beatings of Jews in the streets will eclipse anything their grandparents could possibly recount.

So if you're smart --which is not a safe bet-- you will get out in front of this thing. "Hey...uh...we didn't know these guys were up to this. These are the guys you're looking for, we'll deliver them to you, and help you put them on trial."


I do not at all care for the events of the past five years. They have all been based on a lie. They were based on the machinations of businessmen and their mineral outpost, Israel.

I don't care for this police state.

If space aliens were to come down tomorrow and say, "We're stranded. We need to get home, but we need your Jews for fuel," I'd have to say OK. Take them. They're more trouble than they're worth.

You likely won't consider these words; it's not your style. It's just that everyone hates you, remember? It's everyone else's fault, right?

I say these things because I love you. But you're too stupid to know that. No one ever accused a Jew of being bright.



In my privately produced movies, all Jews will be portrayed this way:

-They cry nonstop.
-They lie the most implausible lies.
-They work exclusively as accountants or prostitutes. If you need your money counted or if you need to put your cum in something, you pick the Jew of your choice. That's what it's there for.

Are you crying? Get in practice, because I haven't even started inflicting pain on you yet.