Wednesday, June 07, 2006

I am in complete control of your brain.

In my limited experience doing stage work --which I had to learn quickly, owing to your society's being in grave danger from those who would enslave you-- I came to understand one important truth: Stage work is essentially an exercise in mind control and sales.

I started small: I would try to get away with using verboten words like nigger and fag and kike and whatever else would just make the audience cluck. It's great fun to push people's buttons. And it was remarkably easy. I learned that if I properly prepared the audience's collective mind, I could say anything. Then I moved on to verboten ideas. In similar fashion, you can make an audience believe anything. If ever I failed to make an audience accept a thing --should they cluck and rebel-- it was only because I had not carefully enough prepared their minds to essence. So it's not like they ever had the moral upper hand or anything... I find great amusement in the occasional audience member who takes offense at something I might say. "Poor little thing," I say to myself, "thinks he's in control of his own mind or something."

Good thing for you that I have your best interest at heart, because I truly could make you eat your own children and have you think it was a good thing.

(Incidentally: Remember that computer store job I briefly held? I was a one-man operation and I easily outsold the other store, the store that had three retail people working. The business owner and I had some...creative differences. We parted ways. Turns out their sales are way down at the store I managed. They have the same units on the floor that I had ordered two months ago, units that I would have moved in a week. My customers loved me so much that they would insist to their friends that they buy from me. Everyone loves to turn their friends on to a good thing. I had a never-ending train of customers who loved me, and whom I loved. Lesson learned: If _you_ hate me...but your customers love me...guess who gets to sit down, shut their face, and let me make money for them? People don't shop there because I don't work there anymore. I would often sit a customer down in a comfortable chair and try to elucidate from them exactly what it was they needed. A customer usually does not know what they truly need. It is the skilled salesman's job to put the customer in the product to which he is truly best suited. Customers appreciate this; they come away from the deal knowing that they have gotten their money's worth. That's all a customer ever wants. Shady salesmen will sell products that are not well suited to the customer. The customer eventually realizes this, and the salesman's referrals go down. So the point is this: There are virtuous salesmen, and shady salesmen. You had better know the difference...)

But anyhow.

Your society is being sold a very bad product by some very disreputable salesmen. Be advised. They have sold you a product of AssBananas, and torture chambers, and REX-84 concentration camps, and child raping, and depleted uranium, and babies with intestines growing out of their ears. And you think it's all a good thing. You are not in possession of your own minds.

In stage work, it is tactically useful to play the fool. "He's just a crazy KookieHead. What harm is there in laughing at him?" Har Har. Well guess who's laughing at whom? My words go in your ear, fly under the radar of cognitive dissonance, and impregnate your very soul. Now I'm inside you. Har dee har har! Trust me: It's a good thing for you that I'm on your side.

In stage work, my job of making the audience believe a thing is made easier if I have first prepared them to _expect_ a thing. I am happy to have the audience make an inference that is useful to me. I would let drop small pieces of information that did not, at the time of their dropping, seem to have any significance to the audience. But later on, when I wanted to rope in the audience, all these pieces of information had already made my case for me. The audience was happy to believe whatever it was I had set them up to believe.

I will read the news or watch the Lie Machine and I can see these little droppings. "Latest dispatch from the AstroGenital Brigade: 'More terror planned!'" And then when some fake terror event occurs, the audience says to itself, "Oh yeah, that's right. The government warned us about this. Therefore, terror is real and the government is protecting us." Not really. They're just dropping little tidbits. So that they can rope you in and convince you that it's a good thing that you accept a state-mandated anal temperature probe or baby eating. It's what I would do...if I were not a virtuous salesman.

And these people you see on the teevee selling this product? They're really no more noteworthy than the entry-level nineteen-year-old salesman who's putting a customer into a very bad product. They're either truly evil people, or they're the biggest dupes of all. Pick one; they're equally damning. "I sell AssBananas and child raping for a living. And I think it's a good product."

Lest you think that I fancy myself some kind of saint, I will tell you that I never really gave a rat's ass if a customer satisfied his home computing needs. I was there to pay the rent and put food on the table. I had a cold, calculated desire: I needed the customer's money. And the customer had a cold, calculated desire: He needed one of my computers. It is, however, my style to see that each party come away a winner. And that meant selling the customer the proper product. Neither one of us ever had any high-minded notions of why we were there. But we each left richer.

The salesman always needs something. You had better ask yourself, "What is it that this salesman wants from me?"

In this case, I will tell you that the salesman needs this from you:

1. He needs your money.
2. He needs to break your military so that your nation cannot mount even a defense of itself.
3. He needs to make you take off your shoes and spread your asshole open for inspection. Makes you compliant, don't you know...
4. He needs your children to be drafted into his AssBanana Army.
5. He needs you to assent to rounding people up and putting them in camps.
6. He needs you to be OK with making people jerk off into each other's mouths.
7. He needs to bankrupt your country, so that public lands can be given away to creditors, which, coincidentally enough, happens to be him. (Hee hee!)
8. He needs you to think that major influxes of immigrants are a good thing, so that you won't recognize them to be the invasion force that they are. Your country is being re-colonized.

Just so you know...

And you look ridiculous with your high-minded notions of being here for freedom and democracy and HappyTimeLumLumProduct. Like they say in poker, if you sit down at the table not knowing who the easy mark's you.