Saturday, June 03, 2006

Free Government Grants!

I saw on TeeVee that some states and municipalities are angry that they're not getting so much federal anti-terror money as they think they ought to.

If you'll humor me, I'll proceed from the kookie-head, wacky-brain, weirdo-man assumption that terrorism doesn't really exist. It's an advertising term, like a soap powder's "Generation Three(R) anti-caking agent." (Sure, people throw bombs and drive planes into buildings, but it's not who you think it is. It's done by people with the means, motive, and opportunity to do it. I'm not sure how Osama bin Laden stood down NORAD or altered time, but that's just me; I'm a confessed KookieBrainMan. So humor me; I'm not feeling...'well'

So if "terrorism" doesn't exist, but people are clamoring for "anti-terror" money, you can see how people will come to convince themselves that terrorism _does_ exist. They get more money that way. I bet they'd even be willing to tolerate a few bombs here and there so they'd get even more free gubmint grants! "We're losing out! Why can't someone blow something up in _this_ town?!" (I'm reminded of the ads in the back of tabloid newspapers at the supermarket checkout: "Free Government Grants! Guide $9.99" I would always shake my head at the lazy suckers at whom the advertisement was targeted.)

And this anti-terror money goes toward new and improved systems for dismantling freedom and building your cage.

So in the end, you'll have more bombs and less freedom. ...But hey! You'll have more spend at the prison commissary! ...On whatever off-brand potato chips and dusty tins of vienna sausages that your prison warden would condescend to stock.

But'll have more of it!