1. I am a comedian, not a blogger. Get it right. Go to www.ckpi.com for more. The written shows that I'm doing these days are just another medium.
2. This is my show, not yours. This is a one-way conversation, from me to anyone who is interested. I have disabled reader comments because I have zero interest in your opinion. Have a problem with that? Stage your own show; the more the merrier...
3. This is a show. I take full responsibility for the words of the characters in this show, but remember that there are some actor parts I'd really rather not play.
4. Did you even listen to the bit?
5. I reserve the right to make after-the-fact corrections to typographical errors, syntactical errors, and to make improvements in delivery and "speakability" of a joke or piece. I will not, however, make changes to assertions of "fact." If I'm off the mark or completely blow it, well, I can handle everyone knowing that.
6. You may regard the writings here to be a transcript of a spoken-word piece. The _underscores_ and...ellipses...are designed to add elements of emphasis and timing to the transcript.
5. I am in complete control of your brain.
6. Enjoy the show. But if you don't know what's happening, don't presume to have an opinion on the execution of it.
7. If you're new to the show, you should start at the very beginning and read posts forward. If you just jump in, you will have no idea what's happening. And if you start ruining the show, I will shut you down.
8. I practice the Comedy of Destruction. I believe that the comedian's job isn't to make people laugh, but to destroy things. If you people want to watch, great.
9. Please don't steal my material. It doesn't, you know...look good...
10. And if you choose a lesser arena in which to engage me, well, then, you concede defeat in this one. Throw a turd if that's more your speed.
11. This is a one-man show. Any media person who may have interviewed me or reviewed any show did so long before I ever started doing meaningful material. So sniff around only if you're a complete idiot.
