Deep in the bowels of the NSA...
Analyst #1: "Hey, man, I could use a second set of ears here... I'm trying to decode this latest Chris King Pop Icon cellphone call. You know how everything has two meanings to him... I can never tell if he's just fucking with us or if he's calling forth his army to kill us all."
Analyst #2: "Sure. No prob. [Wheels around his chair.] Have you hit that new intern yet? She's got a sweet ass." [Starts the recorded cellphone conversation. Electronic switching noises and timecode beeps on the recording.]
Chris: "What up, G?"
Analyst #1: "Doesn't he know that's out of style?"
Analyst #2: "It's part of his shtick."
Anonymous Second Caller: "Right. Nothing. Listen, did you get that stuff I needed? You got the cash I left at your place, right?"
Chris: "Sure did. You are gonna loooove what I got for you. Those...'ten-penny nails'...from the...'hardware store'...are the best I've ever seen. Next time, I can even get you a...'dimmer switch.' It'll blow your mind..."
Analyst #1: "I _knew_ this guy was dirty..."
Anonymous Second Caller: "Will you stop it? Did you get the cat food in Keene today or not?"
Chris: "I'm just trying to make things fun for everyone involved... Yeah, I got your special fuckin dietary restriction cat food. I forgot the cash at home, though. Good thing I had my debit card with me."
Analyst #2: "Call up his financial records. What's he been buying?"
Analyst #1: "Uh, lessee... [Types away into illegal data mining system terminal.] Um... Here it comes... In general, it seems to be a lot of beef jerky and Astroglide. Oh, and ammunition."
Anonymous Second Caller: "Great. Listen, are you coming out Friday night?"
Chris: "You mean, will I be...'coming out'...to everyone at...'the place'...as Supreme Ruler of 3-Space?"
Anonymous Second Caller: "Why does every conversation with you have to be so difficult? Are you coming out drinking or not?"
Chris: "Oh, I'll be...'drinking'...alright... Drinking in the sweet nectar of world domination! Basking in my...schaden...freude...ish glow! I plan to issue the final protemporal programming that will make my enemies' agents into my own minions! Har Har!"
