OK. Here are some thoughts on the Fringe Festival:
-I would rather pay ten dollars to see a tightly executed thirty-five-minute show than ten dollars to see some bloated, overwrought, ninety-minute mess.
-If all your characters have the same voice, then you can fire most of the actors and have the one remaining actor deliver all the lines. It's just more efficient that way. It saves on wardrobe.
-If I fall asleep in your show, it sucks. Please take note.
-Have a crew member note, on a clipboard, the frequency and times of people checking their watches. This is an excellent way to see where the show needs tightening. If someone checks his watch, it means that you have lost him as an audience member.
-I would rather see a one-man or one-woman show than a big production. It's just a matter of personal taste. Especially if the performer wrote the material, it's a delight to see someone pull it off. And please give these folks a charitable dash of faith; they're attempting to carry an entire show alone. It ain't easy.
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These are shows that I did not fall asleep in:
-Mr. Charles, Currently of Palm Beach
-Mary's Wedding, by Stephen Massicotte
-The Lion Queen and the Naked Go-Go Cub
-Hedwig and the Angry Inch
These are shows I hope to see:
-A Canadian Bartender at Butlin's
-Orlando Vigilante
-Something You Do Not Want to See
-Realtime
-Doodie Humor 3: To the Turd Power
-Self Development for Dummies
-Ever Expanding
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What happened to the quality beer offerings in the Beer Garden? Last year there were quality local brews. This year it is solely mass-produced garbage. I consider myself a bit of a beer...enthusiast...if not an authority or even an aficionado. I can drink a quality beer all day --and night-- long and get up the next morning at six and mow the lawn. But have four or five of this crap beer and you've got a splitting headache. So forgive me if I won't drink it. Aside from depleted uranium, crap beer is the most destructive of American exports.
(I'm not complaining about the existence of the Beer Garden. And I understand the economics of it. But here's the point: You will sell more beer --and make more money to support the Fringe Festival-- if you sell something that will not make someone ill for drinking it. Bad beer has a built-in, sales-limiting governor. It's called sugar.)
